Fishbowl

riding this bike
sailing through the fog
following the river of asphalt,
poking out from the blurred
greens, yellows and reds
upon nature's pillars

the air is thick
the colors,
vivid against the grey
the only sounds
mechanical repetition
echoing away

homeostasis controlled
fear is gone
locked in place
where you belong



 

Author's Note

Of everything I have written, I am most proud of this one. I don't know why. I rode my bike through the fog, on a road thick with trees. The way the colors popped out through the grey fog was astonishing. Just trying the capture the moment. Felt like I was in a fishbowl and at some point, would hit the glass.

Reviews

[light and ashes]

I really like this. The title is completely misleading, but after reading your author's note I understand.... and actually I think it's kind of cool.. it's not what you expect. I am not sure that's a negative thing, in this case.
You did well. I am a fan of this also. :)

[Emily B]

It's beautiful and creative. Glad I came by.

[Red Brick Keshner]

An amazing sort of fishbowl whose containment moves with every cycle of the pedals. The freeing sense of fear dissipating, perhaps it is in this moment of freedom that the containing surrounds get locked in place and the fishbowl increases. You can be proud of this one, still. Thanks for having shared this beauty of a poem. /Frederick.

[Pete]

this is impressive joe. it is deep with meaning that transcends on different levels. straight-up great writing. you should be proud. i love the color & crispness of autumn. hang in there, you will find your way to a faith-filled paradise with bold colors. we each get there in a different way ... :)

[Kami]

This one captured your euphoria, as evident in your writing of "Fishbowl". Thanks for sharing!

[poetgurl (Plainly Meg)]

riding this bike
sailing through the fog
following the river of asphalt
poking out from the blurred

I enjoyed this write especially this part

[Unspoken poet]

the air is thick
the colors
vivid against the grey
the only sounds
mechanical repetition
echoing away

I really enjoyed these lines, true too.
very well written write.

[Asante]

Your words pop right out of the poem into my mind as warm, textured images. Perhaps clean snapshots of what you saw during your bike ride.

This was beautiful, exponentially so, in my opinion. Great write, glad read.

[Gaia Octavia]

Great imagery throughout. I love the idea of feeling like you're in a fishbowl. With such beautiful, idealistic scenery, it can sometimes seem artificial; like you're on The Truman Show.

Well done!

[Great Aunt Astri]

It does sound quite dream like, floating through the fog with beautiful blurry colours going past and the comforting sound of the bike. I am just wondering what you did about 'her' when you got back. Was that the 'you' you refer to in the last line? Lovely poem.