A Not-So-Fairy Tale

Your classic teenage drama, now in a poem by me!

You feel as if you’re falling
Falling deeper, deeper down
Into that pit of lonely darkness
Where no hope or love is found

Then suddenly you’re lifted up
Your world is full of light
You don’t see it’s just a streetlamp
amidst a cold and dreary night

You watch the things you cared about
Slip away in twos and tens
Your grades then soon your family
And, most pointedly, your friends.

You’re standing there, stripped of life
But you don’t notice it at all
You’re only hanging by a thread
But for now she’s stopped your fall.

Everyone around you knows
But you won’t let them in
Congratulate her for me
She beat us out with naught to win.

Hand in hand, you walk along
Through your illuminated night
Neither of you wants to see
The dark that’s just in sight

But along it comes with vengeance
Poised as if to strike
And still you both ignore it
Something wrong just can’t be right

Until one day it crashes through
How did it get so bad?
Not long ago, perfection reigned
But it was never meant to last

Your bubble has been popped
And the streetlight has been passed
Your thread is finally broken
And now you’re falling fast

But who is there to catch you?
You left everyone behind
And now when you most need our help
There’s no help for you to find

We thought you’d see it sooner
We tried to make things work
To explain that what awaited you
Was nothing short of hurt

You wouldn’t heed the warnings
Despite how hard we tried
The ones who wanted most to help
Were told to chose a side

There’s not much left that we can do
You’ve dug yourself too deep
We knew that you were too far gone
When your life was hers to keep

Maybe now you’ll understand
But no one really knows
It seems you’re just still too far gone
Or so the story goes

Your happy ending out of site
What’s now left at the end?
And now who will be there for you
When you most need a friend?

Author's Note

I'm open to suggestions and criticism, so long as they're polite!

Reviews

[Thea]

An interesting topic you have in here...
A great piece...
Thanks for sharing!
:)))

[Allan Eddings]

I am exuberant to have chosen this piece as the first to read in some time, it does not disappoint! Easily now ranking amongst my favourite pieces on this site, not hollow praise I promise I have only three - possibly four - pieces apart from this one that I would truly rank as my favourites on this site.

The rhythm is wonderful, it gently wanders the reader alongside the image of these two starstruck lovers, and all the while we look in. Its themes are common enough that we know where it is leading us, but like the friends and family within the tale, we are powerless to intervene much less stop it.

It spoke to me especially because too often I see friends "falling in love" and fooling themselves into believing that what they have is meaningful and everlasting. Love is not meaningful it is simply beautiful and it most assuredly is not everlasting - everything ends. The obsession with the notion of everlasting love, is not alas a purely teen fantasy, it carries on. We seem quite content to continue the delusion until we are dead. That we insist on making something last longer than it should, or worse hope that it will is despicable! As I once said in retort to a friend,

"You call me a sentimentalist, you are wrong I am Romantic. The difference is a sentimentalist hopes that things will last; a Romantic knows and hopes that they will not. Because what a horrid thought for something to last longer than it is beautiful; the butterfly is not made to see the loss of the colour of its wings, it ends when beauty ends, why do we insist on hoping to see such a beauty fade?"

My prattling is at an end, and I shall conclude much as I begun, I offer immense admiration, sincere appreciation and enthusiastic praise.

A.E.

[Jed Sabffle]

awesome. really great. :)
i like the theme of this poem.
this is, indeed, a teenage drama.
Studies, friends, family and even your true self are left behind just because of a very shallow love for someone..
Nice piece. Thanks for sharing. :DD

[Kiari Sabon]

i like it keep up the work

[patricia]

This is realy good, a talented write. enjoyed.