"Not all _____"

open mic, resulting discussions, and conversations still necessary {{sigh, smh}} in 2019

I listen to it all

The silences, so tangible that I feel another's held breath

The responses, so wrapped in rebuttal that they feel dull

Unresponsive, in fact

Miss you with the expression of pain, I guess

Did you listen at all?

Did you simply pause, waiting for your chance to say “Not all _____”

Holding my breath when I send my child to the store

My beautiful, brown child who towers over me

His quiet soul wrapped in a black hoodie

Hands in his pockets. Lump in my throat

Until he comes back to me

Miss you with the expression of fear, I guess

Do you feel me at all?

Did your eyes just roll, thinking to yourself “Not all ______”

Minding my own until I make it to where I'm headed

Dressed as I choose. Focused how I choose.

My quiet soul wrapped in thought…

and my experiences, no doubt

My facial expression and response to your preferences

are up for discussion. Again, I guess.

Miss you with the expression of frustration.

But listen to your spin on “Not all _____”

It's ironic

It's so ironic how we get it

until we don't

We hear clearly 

until we hear where we fall 

Then choose responses that remove self from the scenario

Forgetting how far acknowledgement goes

Not realizing how much calm can follow

“I'm sorry that you've felt that way”

Romanticizing the “beauty” and the “strength” found in pain

Miss me with that. Seriously.

I listen to it all

I hear how her words are explained to her

I hear her pause and the weight of it

And when she hears the space to interject, 

I hear her fully

 expressed

 thought

 cut 

short

With an outline of where her and my responsibility lies

Beautifully expressed, sis

Your pain is beautiful, I guess