Piercing silence

Dark branches in the moonlight

A silhouette against the horizon

Silence and the sound of faint scratching, gaining

I sit, trans-like, wrapping my arms around my knees

I know it's coming, I can feel it's presence swarming me.

The feeling of sharp nails, scraping down my back - like knives penatrating my flesh The red liquid flashes in the moonlight

I keep my eyes squeezed shut, my lips pressed closed, my body rocks to the sound of the footsteps, gaining on my vulnerable presence

Without warning the scraping, the footsteps, they silence I pry my eyes open, hoping the worst is over, the torture vanquished

Instead, my eyes fall apon the glowing red ones of the haunting beast

And then there is nothing but blackness and the piercing screech that echos through my ears.

Author's Note

Reviews, Constructive critism? :)

Reviews

[Carrion.]

heh, woah o.o" interesting&deep. I reaaaaaaalllyyy like this:3

[LoondsyAndHooley]

Creepy. I like it!

[Blue Moon Ice Cream]

"trans-like" --> "trance-like"
"it's presence" --> "its presence"
"they silence" --> "then silence"
"fall apon" --> "fall upon"

This is creepy and the ending was great. I do think that if you broke some of the longer lines into several shorter ones, it would increase the tension.

[E.V. Black]

I was wondering what you meant by "trans-like"? Other than a few spelling errors, I say that this is pretty scary. I do think you could have expanded it a little to include more detail. It would be interesting to see what happens to the person after they see the beast.

[Larry Dyson]

It builds a nice tension phrase by phrase.. and then releases it..

[Coyote Poetry]

I like the story in this poem. Sometime fear and quiet may keep us safe. Sometime like in your poem. The senses of the predator can sense fear and odor. A strong poem. Could be a interesting story also. A excellent poem.
Coyote

[NickyGL]

This is very good, I dont see any problems with it at all.
I like "The red liquid flashes in the moonlight"
and i think that
like knives penatrating my flesh
should be moved down, but its good where it is too.