Chemistry Betrays (Revised)

Chemistry Betrays (Revised)

A Poem by Silente-Write
"

Insanity Pleads...

"
My chemistry betrays me as insanity pleads before lean-jaded depravity
seen scorn as a decrepit unraveling
of baffling mean-spirited entities gathering deceitfully
for more pandering of reality in a gallery slinging misery entirely...

My sympathy behaves erratically
seethes forlorn as heated apathy forms rapidly
soft-churning rhapsody squirms passionately...

Inevitably heart-warming tragedy occurs.

Fiendishly hard-earned philosophy
turns of metaphor laced individuality...

Blurred and slurred rhymes.

Aggressive lines wormed into the tapestry of sadism
this organisms mechanism of limelight fading posturism
burning eyes turning bright from realism
shading light from mine minds rind empty escapism
slime heavy kinda heady with the infectious algorithm...

 Swirls bleeding lecherous breathing escaping the rhythm of morbid reality
 curiosity yearns for instability
With the itty-bitty fallacy of a gallant killing spree
 gallons of rippling prayers stripped of buoyancy
 floating dead in the sea flamboyantly... 

© 2017 Silente-Write


Author's Note

Silente-Write
Same poem (mostly)... But now edited... Yay...!

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Featured Review

the velocity of your perspicacity of the duplicity of words specificity makes the bunny's brain nuerocity spark enthusiastically! LOL.... my god I have met my match!!!! You love words and they love you I know cause they just told me my dictionary just salivated all over my desk and started to groan in an unsightly manner causing me to have to clean up some unmentionable goo... be sure to put the dictionary farther away from the word porn next time. :)

Posted 11 Months Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.

Silente-Write

11 Months Ago

Words are fun, flow structure is what this was intended for, aha... I f*****g died laughing when I s.. read more



Reviews

Wow a rant like poem that just speaks volumes. The lack of punctuation (usually awful) is a more than effective tool in this piece. Great work.

-Richard

Posted 3 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Silente-Write

3 Years Ago

Thank you, Richard, this is one of my personal favorites, glad you enjoyed it so much... Sometimes y.. read more
Richard McLin

3 Years Ago

I hear you there.
brilliant work reminded me of a song " when the tree falls down" I think by Bruce Coburn who had condensed lyrics.

Posted 3 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Silente-Write

3 Years Ago

Hmm, thanks, Andrew, this is one of my treasured works, that is for sure... I will check that song o.. read more
andrew mitchell

3 Years Ago

Let me know when you do
andrew mitchell

3 Years Ago

So condensed are your writes, the John Le Carre of poetry.
Omg how do you do that? I mean without a line break? And without breaking the flow?

I'm stuck on one point though.. Insanity pleads? Really? I thought most of the times it's our 'sanity' which pleads us to stray towards the lunatic side...

"bleeding lecherous breathing escaping the rhythm of morbid reality curiosity yearns for instability"

I found these lines highly interesting and according to my taste. Being a curious one, I agree, curiosity makes us somewhat unhinged lol
This was a breathless read for me. 😊

Posted 3 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Silente-Write

3 Years Ago

And yes, unhinged we become, certainly when curious... Most definitely then...
Dr. YumnaKay

3 Years Ago

Must be one hell of an experience then 😛😉
I think I'm becoming more unhinged by the da.. read more
Silente-Write

3 Years Ago

We all have something that majorly shifts our perspective at least once in life... It is usually one.. read more
For the Hip-Hop Lyrics Contest
I'm shocked that there is not a single trace of punctuation anywhere in there. Regardless...
-Lyricism: 8.5/10. That's heat af. Just wish there was some punctuation. I really like the rhymes that are between slant and not rhyming at all. There's something satisfying about that type.
-Originality/Creativity: 10/10. 5 points for both.
-Metaphors: 6/10.
-Similes: 1/10. The only reason I'm giving a point is because I'm not positive if the "...jaded depravity seen scorn as a decrepit unraveling..." line is a simile or not.
-Message: 4/10. There is a message or two, but it's mostly lyricism.
-Wordplay: 5.5/10. Wordplay does exist within there, but not to the extend that I was hoping for.
Overall: 5.8/10

Posted 3 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Silente-Write

3 Years Ago

Thanks for the review and score, was a bit of a freestyle, and was not inclined to editing this one .. read more
You can put a beat to this and it would be something to listen to. I'm liking it. Nice job!

Posted 3 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Silente-Write

3 Years Ago

Thank you, Duff, as always... I have a beat to everything I write, so very keen eye(ear)...
Amazing. I couldnt breathe..How did you write that?

Posted 3 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Silente-Write

3 Years Ago

Thank you, reader, and I wrote it like anything else I write... With music and flow, heh... I apprec.. read more
I don't breathe until I get to the end. lol. I also don't get the entire thing, but I'm not sure it's meant to be 'gotten'. I do appreciate it very much. It's a tremendous talent you have. And for this piece: there's sorrow, frustration, disappointment... and who doesn't relate to these? Well done :) I.I.

Posted 3 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Silente-Write

3 Years Ago

Thank you, Ivy, your words are as gracious as always... Most of what I write is for open-ended inter.. read more
Isabella Ivy

3 Years Ago

With this type of writing and those similar, a conglomeration of well selected words and phrases, th.. read more
Silente-Write

3 Years Ago

Ditto, my friend, your lavish attention to crystal detail shall certainly lend a hand to my style..... read more
Interesting! That was one big sentence, words wonderfully woven. Nice👍

Posted 3 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Silente-Write

3 Years Ago

Thanks, it most certainly is a large sentence, heh... Still have not gotten around to properly editi.. read more
Awesome!
Intense emotions captured in one art.
I love the complex use of vocab here.

Posted 3 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Silente-Write

3 Years Ago

Thanks so much! I worked on her for some time, I am quite proud of this one... You have a superb eye.. read more
Tazeen Ahmed

3 Years Ago

Welcome! My pleasure!

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3076 Views
69 Reviews
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Shelved in 5 Libraries
Added on February 16, 2017
Last Updated on May 30, 2017
Tags: Poetry, Dark, Life, Sad, adventure, death, depression, family, fantasy, fiction, hope, horror, love, magic, mystery, pain, poem, romance, story

Author

Silente-Write
Silente-Write

Denver, CO



About
When you have no words... Go find them! They get lost easily... (Seriously) more..

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