Before Metaphors

Before the metaphors and metal forged I sat ignored and lonesome

 alone and broken...

 Groanin' in an ocean of token defeat

 rote motions

 dead-feet

 my feats retreat...

 Bleeding dreams and fleeced sheep

 eaten lacking wheat

 a sheath for elite-meat-treats and bleep-heaps...

 Driven deeper-steeper

 hear her cry when satellites fly...

 I sit outside and mind my own business...

 But in this bees nest I'm best before checks in reality

 I'm a liability for the masks of sentimental sentinels brandishing fundamental finality on the mantle of rivalry...

Sodden grease and I follow-she

 all ah-me

 and I'm falling-free... 

Solemn freeze

 and I'm free-falling asleep... 

Reviews

[emmajoygreen]

You certainly shuffle your thoughts, sir.. and yet, somehow in shuffling, create a cascade of liquid gold. I hesitate to read back and back to when first written, and will sit still to keep my own promise but feel that there will be many different observation about the meaning of this or that. Your meter had me reading louder and louder til I'm tempted to say, the walls rocked but.. Obviously the words are laid at someone else's feet,

' I sit outside and mind my own business...
But in this bees nest I'm best before checks in reality
I'm a liability for the masks of sentimental sentinels brandishing fundamental finality on the mantle of rivalry...
Sodden grease and I follow-she.. '

onwards into space, dark and light, dancing through time to your own heartbeat but wrapped- within someone else's reflection. Need read this again

[Chase Dylan]

Thanks very much, Emma Green.
It would certainly not be too much to state the rocking of walls that transpired upon reading.
I am, after all...
Dylan, the Shaker of Walls

[Raven Moonchild]

The king of metal and rhyming has struck again!!!!! Two horns up,man!!!! :D

[Chase Dylan]

The king of slapping metal reviews has struck again... All four horns up for you... Thanks for dropping in...!

[Raven Moonchild]

And thank you for sharing your awesome work!!! :D

[Chase Dylan]

My pleasure, but even better reading the appreciation...!

[Stephanie M]

Wow, that's a great poem! Great use of rhythm, and imagery. Did you take a poetry class?

[Chase Dylan]

I have never taken any poetry classes, no, Stephanie... Nor any writing classes... Just lots and lots of practice... Thanks so much for appreciating...!

[Vic]

What a ride! That was a fun read. About half way through I started reading it in Eminem's voice

[Chase Dylan]

I use Eminem as a huge source of inspiration sometimes, so... That is a rather large compliment, thanks so much, Vic...

[Vasilees Sybissyl]

You play with words like a pro! It's a great inspiration for amateur like me. Keep it up!

Love,
Vasilees.

[Chase Dylan]

Dear Vasilees, thank you for the inspiring review... I will say again, though, not sure about "pro"... But I shall take the compliment...!

[Shasha]

Nothing to say,
Just one thing, you are a professional player of words!

[Chase Dylan]

Hah, well thank you, Shasha... I really question the term "professional"... But hey, I will not argue it...

[Lykos]

Wow this is amazing. Your poems really blow my mind. The way you use words, it draws me in, it's captivating. Well done Silente!!

[Chase Dylan]

You captivate me with the review, Lykos, thanks much...

[Lykos]

Your welcome..

[Jay-LH]

This is great... well done

[Chase Dylan]

Thanks, Jay, means a lot...!

[TerryDarcy-Ryan akaSh..]

The Poet flexes his muscles and opens empathic
but strong
"Before the metaphors and metal forged I sat ignored and lonesome"
intrigued, i reach for more his lines draws 100 pictures
" alone and broken...
Groanin' in an ocean of token defeat
rote motions
dead-feet
my feats retreat...
Bleeding dreams and fleeced sheep
eaten lacking wheat "
he then set fire to my paranoia something I usually hide and hold dear.
" Driven deeper-steeper
hear her cry when satellites fly...
I sit outside and mind my own business...
But in this bees nest I'm best before checks in reality "
He speaks loudly as he identify's and humanizes his perception
" I'm a liability for the masks of sentimental sentinels brandishing fundamental finality on the mantle of rivalry... "
and then so elegantly he bids goodnight
" all ah-me
and I'm falling-free...
Solemn freeze
and I'm free-falling asleep... "
I love this it is alive I can hear it breathing. Your use of words is energetic and image driven. Really my only trouble is that it wasn't longer. Rock on

Sheer Terror

[Chase Dylan]

A structured and strong review, Terror... Flexed poetic muscles... 100 picture technique... Hidden paranoia on fire... Shared perceptions and energy filled images... My only trouble is that the review was not longer, haha.... Just kidding, seriously, though, thanks so much for this amazing insight... Rock on...

[TerryDarcy-Ryan akaSheerTerror]

You are welcome

[Teal Moon]

Wow! This is amazing! Love the rhyming!

[Chase Dylan]

Thanks so much, Lainey

[Anna]

I love the rhyming! I didn't understand it but the way you wrote it was so so amazing! Thank you for sharing such a wonderful poem!

[Chase Dylan]

Understanding is overrated... You are so welcome, and thank you more for reading...!