Deconstructing My Inefficiency

Deconstructing My Inefficiency

A Poem by DylanChase
"

A fish in the sea...

"
Deconstructing my inefficiency I find deficiency
A fish in the sea
Unable to see past inner dirty beeps that I speak when wrapped in fleet clouds
A sun god with a hound
I'm crass, I'll blast with mashes of fast acts
I'm a spaz, I'll cast the branch back so it smacks you as you pass
I rap with white eyes so black ice can fight the sunlight and become shadowed night
tight-lipped in fright, they speak with spite in spite of the signs saying do or die
So I did and didn't die, but that was a lie cause I'm dry now
a husk of slime with flies now...
I sense rejection like deaths inception found me hovering before an entity
who laid me humble before an enemy, who said to me rise today and take this remedy
be a servant and prosperity will find you like prophecy
You will have ten dreams of fallacy
I see Alice in steep allowance making cups outta gallons of jealousy
the policy is to gallop free of abhorrent heaps of troubled seas
It's said to be fumbles with creeps in the mud hole of greed
but gallantly I sense unburdened crumbles...
Much like having tea and crumpets in kevlar jeans    

© 2017 DylanChase


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Featured Review

It's always the same, but actually very different every time. Lol. I hope you get what I mean. If you don't, then fair enough...After all I don't usually get what YOU mean. Hell, this was funny! Especially these lines:
'I'm a spaz, I'll cast the branch back so it smacks you as you pass'
'a husk of slime with flies now...'
And the last one, of course, was the show stopper. Mind boggingly written!

Posted 3 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.

DylanChase

3 Years Ago

I gotcha, heh... I think, and a hoped thought, I guess is as good as a known one... Thank you, Zoe
This comment has been deleted by this poetry author.



Reviews

'' I sense rejection like deaths inception found me hovering before an entity ~ who laid me humble before an enemy, who said to me rise today and..'

Some of us sing, some of us dance, a few string words together or paint colours in the air. Seems you can do all at once with a few somersaulting, rhythmic phrases. Yet another master-unpeaceful that moves along to an ending that never finishes!

Posted 3 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

emmajoy

3 Years Ago

Was thinking that!!
DylanChase

3 Years Ago

Great (crazy) minds think alike
emmajoy

3 Years Ago

So very true, said the woman wearing dark glasses, hair mustard yellow an'd chewing a honey comb..OH.. read more
I feel your mind must always be on a whirlwind with all the raps going on in your head lol this is brilliant! Didn't find any deficiencies here ;)
Cool, as always by you, D (:

Posted 3 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

DylanChase

3 Years Ago

Aye, Yumna... It never shuts-up... Lol. Thank you, as always , and of course it is cool, like a blaz.. read more
Dr. YumnaKay

3 Years Ago

hahah maybe they get cold after a while lol you're welcome, Silente, as always (:
As I always say, you are a player, always playing with words! You always leave me wondering, great write, Silente!

Posted 3 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Shasha

3 Years Ago

Yes, and I always see you as a player of words Ind the
"Game of Words". Haha!
My plea.. read more
DylanChase

3 Years Ago

Hell yes, "Game of Words" seems like a likely title for a next work...
Shasha

3 Years Ago

I will be glad reading a poem of that title!
A very strong poem you've got here! So snarky and sarcastic. Loved it!

Love,
Vasilees.

Posted 3 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

DylanChase

3 Years Ago

Another vote for snarky and sarcastic... Heck yes... Two of the best compliments...! Hah, thank you .. read more
Vasilees Sybissyl

3 Years Ago

My immense pleasure, Silente!
Sarcastically Snarky

Awesome Read

Matthew

Posted 3 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

DylanChase

3 Years Ago

What is sarcasm but fruit for the soul... Thanks, Matthew, much appreciated
Matthew Kult

3 Years Ago

You're welcome. Was a joy.

Matthew
this is certainly far out there my friend,but you may be right

Posted 3 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

DylanChase

3 Years Ago

I wish I may, I wish I might... Thanks so very much, Man of Words
The way you write is mental. Everytime I read one of your works I'm amazed. I could see you on a stage in front of thousand rapping out this masterpiece. As always, excellent work silente.

Posted 3 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Lykos

3 Years Ago

No mate, after you had finished, cheers and applause would be heard from the crowd. Anytime silent.. read more
DylanChase

3 Years Ago

If you say so... I believe it wholeheartedly! Just gotta get my a*s on dat stage, eh? Haha...
Lykos

3 Years Ago

That's it man, jump up and let the rhymes flow.
Silente, I feel as if I have been let in on some
ironic wisdom or the punch line of a joke I never got until now. So were all having a tremendous laugh in a mocking of the Universe and how ridiculous destiny is when Chaos rules the day. Just to make sure I am grounded I embrace the fact that you are so right about Alice and her drinking problem. How very civilized of you to end with tea and I must say I admire your commitment with Kevlar there really is no quick exits. Bravo, you have entertained me Sir with superior words.

Sheer Terror

Posted 3 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

DylanChase

3 Years Ago

Cheers to shared laughter and wonky jokes, heh... Thanks very much for the appreciation, TerryDarcy... read more
TerryDarcy-Ryan   akaSheerTerror

3 Years Ago

Silente you are welcome
No inefficiency here to be disbursed. This is a snappy, fast moving bit if verse.
I must admit, I prefer a more formal poetic form, but, if we've gotta have unrhymed poetry, this piece fills the bill with excellent use of language and context.

Posted 3 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

DylanChase

3 Years Ago

Thank you, Nor, I stylize a bit unconventionally, yes. Informal, even. I gotta say, though, plenttty.. read more
Snap-snap-snap-rap...no deficiency noted in ‘raptor-rapper’-“crass...spaz”-no not you, ever! Beat, mad rhyme, flow, text and context superb.”fumbles with creeps in mud holes of greed”- never you. Suffering perhaps, but no “servant”, you. I bow ,as always, to brilliance. Kudos my friend!

Posted 3 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

DylanChase

3 Years Ago

HAH... I do not even know where to begin on that one... Thank you ever so much, Annette... That is a.. read more
Annette Pisano-Higley

3 Years Ago

You are so welcome Silente! Glad the review brought you smiles.:):)

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Added on October 17, 2017
Last Updated on October 17, 2017
Tags: Poetry

Author

DylanChase
DylanChase

Denver, CO



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When you have no words... Go find them! They get lost easily... (Seriously) more..

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