Scientist

Get ready to explore the world of science.

I was 14 at that time, being a regular boy in an ordinary school. I have really been into science for so long. I just like 

everything that science relates to. I've already decided as to what I am going to be when I grow up. I also ace every subject that I have in school, I am a Dean's Lister. I'm Justin, and uhmm.. I guess... Welcome to my life!

"Justin!" Someone shouted, appearing to be my Dad. "You want to go with me at work?" He asked. "What?! Are you sure?!" I asked him back. "Yes, uhh.. Of course, absolutely!" He said cheerfully with a very wide smile on his face. "Of course, Dad! I've been wanting to go with you since grade school!" I replied. Oh my. I can't believe this. He's going to take me to a world of awesomeness! He grabbed his bag and my hand. Someone picked us up, maybe it's a carpool. I don't know, the important thing is, that I'm gonna go to Dad's workplace! There will be a lot of great people to talk with, and lots of inventions and innovations inside! Just imagine secret paraphernalia, secret UFO pictures, and many more! Hurrah!

It was just an hour and we are already in our destination. What seems to have appeared in front of me was a very big building, not just very big, I'm talking about VERY BIG!!! There are also a lot of people wandering around it, appearing to be scientists, too. They have those awesome square glasses, a lot of cool books (I really want to snatch one, to be honest), and also good hairstyles! Pretty neat. "Those are just the beginners." Father said, as I was looking to be in awe with what I am seeing.

We entered the building and the elevator afterwards. Dad clicked the button numbered 598, and then, voila! We were in that floor already. Never experienced that kind of speed in my life. The elevator door opened and it was full of busy people, scientists with messy hair running around and some of them were asleep. I was shocked. My Dad's hair was neat, but why does his co-workers doesn't seem to have hair as neat as his hair? "Here, my son, is my lair!" Dad shouted, and all the scientists suddenly came back to work, like nothing happened. The only sound that was heard in the floor was the fast typing coming from the scientists' computers. "Every floor higher means a knowledge level higher, and the highest floor is 1001, that of the Fathers and Mothers of Science, Galileo Galilei, Ernest Rutherford, Madam Marie Curie, Albert Einstein, everyone, you name it! But this, this is mine, and we study people's supernatural beliefs and dreams, such as lucid dreaming, sleepwalking, also the meaning of those dreams, why we dream, why do ghosts exist, can we actually talk to them, etcetera, and you, will be ruling this, soon enough." 

Reviews

[JackValor86]

well it could be a cool premise its just very short and rushed. like theres no exposition at all (you don't need much!) but if you seriously want to write a storry that starts like this, develop the protaganist and his relationship with his father, that way at least you could explain what his father does before just saying "come to work and you can see ufos" like shouldn't that be something the father doesn't tell the kid about being how top secret it is? Make something happen that forces the father to bring the kid to work not just because he decided to someday.
But my number one critique of this piece is that it goes nowhere. Like it sets up a premise hastily and then just stops, which begs the most important question a writer should ask themselves which is "why would someone want to read this?"