The Destruction Of Paradise

The Destruction Of Paradise

A Poem by Skoo.

Bloodstain on the white dress
of innocent old me. 
Havoc's hell, and in the flames
I'll burn eternally.
The blade is sharp, but not enough
to cut away the guilt.
I burnt down every wall
and every bridge I ever built.

Come, watch the towers crumble, 
surrounded by the night.
I stand by and break down as
the pieces of me fight.
I can never win this battle
as the mirror cracks in two;
I'm stronger now, yet weaker,
all because of You.
 
You made me who I am
and yet it pains me to see
That all I am is not enough
But I just can't set You free.
I'm just a walking shadow, 
that song that no ones hears.
I deafened You with pain and anger, 
drowned You in my tears.
I'm the product of my parent's mistakes,
their nightmares, their fears.
And when my final words are breathed, 
they'll fall upon deaf ears.

But I'm to blame, I know that I alone
must face the guilt;
'Cause I burnt down every wall 
and every bridge I ever built.

© 2011 Skoo.


Author's Note

Skoo.
I wrote this one a while back, it was the first real poem I ever wrote...
Reviews and constructive criticism are muchly appreciated (: ♥

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Featured Review

This was the first poem you ever wrote? This is really excellent..
"The blade is sharp, but not enough
to cut away the guilt."
This is your debut effort?? Holy crap. I can almost literally feel the emotion while reading this; it's beautiful.
I cannot fully determine what this poem is about, but the ambiguity makes it applicable to multiple situations.
The rhyming, as well, is wonderfully done; I barely even noticed it the first time I read this, which is how it should be. It simply made the poem flow more smoothly, and did not detract from the poem at all.
This is SO much better than my early stuff :)

Posted 10 Years Ago


3 of 3 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

I wish my first poem was like this all those years n years ago lol

Posted 10 Years Ago


I liked it maybe break up the parts a bit it reminds me a bit of saying something in one long breath :) But I really liked the piece otherwise

Posted 10 Years Ago


This is really the first poem you ever wrote? This is fantastic for a first-time write! I loved every bit of it... you took the reader through the emotional journey of pain and remorse. Wonderful job!

~Erinne

Posted 10 Years Ago


"Bloodstain on the white dress
of innocent old me.
Havoc's hell, and in the flames
I'll burn eternally.
The blade is sharp, but not enough
to cut away the guilt.
I burnt down every wall
and every bridge I ever built."

I could relate to this stanza very much. The poem was great. Keep writing :)

Posted 10 Years Ago


First poem?
You really got it going and I love the language in this. So neat and dark.
Especially with one blaming oneself for all the horrors in the world and the pain...life goes on.

Posted 10 Years Ago


This reads like confessionalism and emo poetry pushed to an extreme, it can't get more angsty than this - the moral is a good one. The chaos of the actor is a frightful thing.

Posted 10 Years Ago


Dark and compelling. This poem holds such an allure to me and drew me in from the first line! If this was your first poem, it is brilliant! You have talent girl! Much love!

Posted 10 Years Ago


I am no English language teacher so I will refrain form commenting on structure and punchation. The poem itself is lyrical and the write the idea is good I enjoyed reading it and the thoughts expressed are somber to say the least.
All in all a very enjoyable piece even though the subject is depressing

Posted 10 Years Ago


Considering this was the first poem you wrote its brilliant. It's dark and I love it :D

Posted 10 Years Ago



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Added on March 13, 2011
Last Updated on March 26, 2011

Author

Skoo.
Skoo.

My Circuitboard City Of Yellow And Black, United Kingdom



About
My poems make little sense because my thoughts make little sense because my life makes little sense. I never class myself as a writer, 'cause I'm not one. I'm just some kid in the corner putting my n.. more..

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