Proper Thanks

Proper Thanks

A Poem by sinNsincerity

My heart's a sleeper cell.

It's as sleepless as hell,

But here is where I rest...

A Midsummer Night's Dream.

Come.

Com'on!

Don't be frightened.

I promise

- it's quite Shakespearean.

More like Marlowe's Dr. Faustus.

No pentagram,

Just a madman's ventures

For virtue and sin.

Let me in.

But it's dark here...

Blackened soul,

So no need for a blackened mirror

When dwelling on reflections.

I seek metamorphosis as did Ovid,

While resisting Mephistopheles...

© 2016 sinNsincerity


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I love this especially the first part " my minds a sleeper cell as sleepless as hell". It reminds me of my mind when there are a million things whizzing around inside and i can't sleep. I also liked this bit "just a madman's ventures for virtue and sin". It reminds me that everyone seeks adventure in their life.

Posted 3 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

sinNsincerity

3 Years Ago

Nicely said Stacey, that is what I was going for when I wrote that line. The madness within...



Reviews

Aloha, very clever the first two lines tell of the grinding of gears that never rest. Then your references, they are very impressive. Izzy

Posted 3 Years Ago


I love this especially the first part " my minds a sleeper cell as sleepless as hell". It reminds me of my mind when there are a million things whizzing around inside and i can't sleep. I also liked this bit "just a madman's ventures for virtue and sin". It reminds me that everyone seeks adventure in their life.

Posted 3 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

sinNsincerity

3 Years Ago

Nicely said Stacey, that is what I was going for when I wrote that line. The madness within...
A funny place to ask to be let into. I try to avoid all dark places. Valentine

Posted 3 Years Ago


Loved it all thoroughly. Something that I always appreciate: simple yet powerful.

Posted 3 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

sinNsincerity

3 Years Ago

Thank you Fahmida, I'm glad that you'd enjoyed it.
Well penned!

Your flow is very nicely done with well-expressed choices conveying splendid results.

Posted 3 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

sinNsincerity

3 Years Ago

Thank you for thinking so Josie.
Josie E. Cook M. A.

3 Years Ago

If only I could spend my whole time reading poetry and commenting--wouldn't that be so splendid and .. read more
Wow, very creative and imaginative. Very good job :)

Posted 3 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

sinNsincerity

3 Years Ago

Thank you Lauren, I appreciate it,
Lauren_The_Awesome

3 Years Ago

You're welcome :)
Wow! you really know your stuff! I love how philosophical you get in your pieces, really adds to the theme and mood of your poetry. To me, I love how the philosophical aspect of the piece gives off that "coming of age" vibe or the idea of "rebirth."

Your writing really makes me think, and I'm enjoying it so much!

Posted 4 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

sinNsincerity

4 Years Ago

I believe all good writing should make you think and I'm trying to get there. I've just scratched th.. read more
I really don't know anything about poetry but I'm thoroughly impressed with your references!

Posted 4 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

sinNsincerity

4 Years Ago

Thank you Brooke!
I enjoyed the references and it has this fast pace when I'm reading it. May be a bit overwhelming that maybe some details could possibly slow it down to paint more vivid images. Overall, still amazing and good vibes to your writing.

Posted 4 Years Ago


I like your writing style, it flows well. The poem was really interesting and I had to read it twice.

One thing that I would consider working on is "- it's quite Shakespearean./ More like Marlowe's Dr Faustus." I thought the change from 'it's Shakespearean' to 'now it's more like Marlowe' was a bit too rapid. Which one is it? If the answer is both, maybe reconsider the 'more like' - it seems like you're contradicting yourself here.

Anyway, that's just my opinion. I'm not a poet myself. Overall a really well-written piece!

Posted 4 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

sinNsincerity

4 Years Ago

Contradictions surround us daily. What do you thing life is? I'm just tapping into them.
I do.. read more

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1138 Views
24 Reviews
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Shelved in 1 Library
Added on September 9, 2016
Last Updated on September 9, 2016
Tags: Gothspel

Author

sinNsincerity
sinNsincerity

East Los Angeles, CA



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