Ink HeartA Poem by R.J Calzonetti (SinisterPotatoe) I wish to protect my heart. It has the right to keep beating. Do you dare to steal my heart, hurt me? Am I unworthy? Saw the past die with my own eyes, your homicide, your artwork, dirty To rip apart my ribs and chest and steal my treasure Lay to rest my being, unwanted, unneeded, unweathered To caress my carcass politely without reason, unfeeling To discard me because I’m unsightly, to throw away my meaning To crush my heartbeat rightly, deface the disgrace engraved in my psyche An unstoppable beast for you to defeat maybe it seems like I might be But that’s not the scene I see, that’s not the means I see An impossible treat, you wish me under your feet but before you hit me like lightning, because I’m something unsightly, because no one is like me I can still feel my skin peel in the hospital as my ink blood chills Despite the good pills that keep my glass half filled, my anger killed, unavoidably, the emptiness builds Do you dare take away my dreams? My memories, my effort Disembarking harnessing the horse of my mind, marking my side, gallop aside, left in the dirt Riding on my pride unbridled with your lies Saddling my emotion as my eyes lie motionless, watching you get your way, you talk such hopefully s**t I just think you’re full of it, like a lead bullet, heavy, holes in your motives, hold your gun still, steady Do you think it appropriate to tear down my skies, pull out the clouds, turn the sunrise vertical hide the stars divide the rain from the blood and call it a miracle? To crucify my words like a wingless bird Do I deserve nothing but the ethereal, not good enough for you, am I not real? Am I not worth something? Nothing left to steal? Crumpling my pages burning in what rages through my veins just chained to this paradise Bound in the heavens Slaughtered in the clouds Heard aloud I won’t allow myself to be looked down upon Now face me like a monster And meet the man that took that name as his own Give back my throne; I’ve been disowned by the bones that made me Savoury as hades shaded by the patrons that played me, maybe you think my mercy will save you I’m not afraid to reach into the blazing hatred that forged my metal spittle into a sword I will decapitate the decaying fate that tried to break me, torn, belittled You will never take from me what’s sacred, fragrant isolation for a vagrant, forlorn For I’ll reawaken after being forsaken, stagnant, unborn Like a fester on Mother Nature, thankless, gore Patiently waiting for creation to destroy everything dear, to taste the anguish, war And manage the passageways of the dark domain on the face of the earth, it’s pores I do not fear death, I feel it’s breath on my back even now, a curse, more It doesn’t matter how it happens, it doesn’t matter how this goes Misshapen in the eyes of my masters, I lived the only life I’ve known I will blind you so you will never walk among these pastures like a pacifist b*****d, after the pain that you’ve sown, the suffering you’ve grown after Taking away from my last words and murder my poems, stealing my nothing cause it’s all that I know Make me a cold disaster as the world moves backwards, fallen, broken, old I capture hell’s rapture and sanctify this sanctuary faster than a guillotine dropping on the tv screen Like a dead soul's disbelieve as the monsters creep and seep into the corners of oblivion I spawn darkness, I farm martyrs I bleed innocently, I dream purgatory I live physically, I leave my emotional feed Humanity is another disease Insanity is my honest belief Free to eat my insides spurning me a burning need to swallow the hollows eternally Burdened weed, growing from the puddle of blood the sand of time and the memories of mud The animal feral alive beaten refuses to die Unbearable pain witness to your charitable gains defied This monster is aware of its pain, suffering all over again This monster is me So let me pull you down from your height, with your righteous hatred, your blight You’re so high off your strength, and you talk the big talk, but who do you blame, and who do you thank? This ship has sank Spite for someone who took my life, swallowed my rights, downed my might like a shot, drank me dry of my rhymes And left me in the light of the afterglow faded, material, blind Merely my own words can express my own pain Let me stain the world in my colour, and die by the hands of my brothers But don’t steal my heart, don’t take what I am Rip my lifeboat apart, and if I sink or I swam, I don’t give a damn I deserve my own life, I’m fought my own demons, bathe the monsters in light Don’t take away my resolve, my essence, my fight, don’t take what’s worth living, in a worthless life Don’t take my heart, I’m a warrior disturbed, kicked to the curb, learned how to write words, and got lost in the ink, forgot how to think, soldered the links, picked up the pieces, became something decent, saved from the brink of nothingness So don’t take my heart, it pumps me full of ink, don’t take my voice, my words, my dreams, my meaning, my ink I’m an ink monster, it runs through my veins, I see poetry, I breathe paper, I eat words, and vomit my pain And if I don’t have my heart, the pages will blow away, and if I don’t have my ink, the thoughts will fade to gray, and if I don't have my story, then I’ve lost my way, if I can't record the demons kept at bay, then I've been mislead, I've been betrayed. If I can’t write, then what am I good for? And if I can’t dream, then what do I live for? If I can't share, then what can I give you? And if I can't hate, I'll never forgive you.
© 2018 R.J Calzonetti (SinisterPotatoe)Author's Note
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R.J Calzonetti (SinisterPotatoe)Burlington, Halton, CanadaAboutMost of my poems can be differing lengths depending on the time you want to spend reading them. You can avoid reading anything brackets, or read it all. If you want an in-between, you can read only th.. more..Writing |
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