Bring Down a Monsoon

I poem that sat around for a year on my computer. Found it and decided to finish it.

I feel depressed

Knowing that I’m not at my best

I need to rest

I’m not insane, even if that’s what you guessed

 

You see I’m just a quiet dude drowning in a pain monsoon

And I’m not in the mood

To be talked down to by you

Just because I told the truth when you were elusive with your abuse, it’s useless

 

You can’t stop a bird from flying

A fish from swimming

A person from giving

Or my lips from speaking the truth until I wither away to nothing and I’m dead

 

Going back to bed, my eyes are red

With black circles, searching blindly for a miracle

My blood’s purple, my mind hopeful

But I’ll keep on taking these meds until I bleed anti-psychotics, until the moment I’ve lost it all

 

Fed up with the hate

If this was fate

Then fate is cruel

And a fool

 

It can’t stop me from smiling through the pain

Gaining the ability to be sane

Even if my ankles and knees are broken and sprained, my words will remain spoken, my heart open

I’ll keep walking, there’s no stopping me

 

Even if you tell me to leave

I’ll keep stalking through these halls that used to feel safe

 Even if you tell lies and talk s**t

I’ll keep mocking your false superiority

 

Even if you tell me to shut my mouth I’ll keep talking about your corruption

It’s my right, my introduction to the truth

Do you want to fight? You want to lie and lose?

In spite of everything you took from me, my very humanity

You’re the only one who gets to shout about pain

 

I have a rotting, half cybernetic brain

But it wasn’t always like this, I resisted purposelessly

You’re always angry, blaming me in your fury

But I know what it feels like to be pissed

 

Your fatal death sentence missed

I kissed my life goodbye

While you tried to cut down cutting at my pacifistic fist, I was bleeding freedom

 

Open hands once used to hold others balled into a fist from the pain, the pressure, the lies, you stained me with

 The effort, the strain, plainly there to be seen, but hidden in the shadows of hypocritical battles

My main goal is to make everything better, to settle this madness, rekindle flames of passion

Your goal is to screw everything up no matter the weather, blaming me for what’s happened

This hurt is what you’ve done to yourself, it’s raining somewhere else so it might as well be my fault as well

Hearts erode coldly in winters of hell

 

But rain washes away

Tears from blind eyes

Fears from the hearts of man

Oil from the gears in my mind

 

Deceit beneath the sun, the fighting before the blood, the demons drowning in the mud, the bullet in the gun, firing hell’s medium

The greasy guts from frowning faces

And soothes the souls of any nation

Makes you sane enough to be clean when you see the sun

 

Looking after everyone

Soaks the parched ground so we can grow

And I know you’d prefer sunshine or snow

But without rain, the love will dry in the sun

No gain for anyone

 So I’m going to bring down a monsoon on you

Wipe away the person I thought I knew in the downpour and part with the heart I thought we grew to get rid of the residue and finally walk away from you

Drown you in my reality, make you drink my tears and taste my pain swallow the rotten water that falls from my sodomized body, I will stagnate and fester in the hatred until I evaporate away in this world of wretchedness you false gods have created

The world you stole from the hands of limp fists humanity, insanity over equality

I’ll bring a monsoon down on you, for every time I was used, all the pain, the abuse, I’ll rain down my blood  on you until your brain turns to glue and you get stuck in the same hell I was

I’ll bring a monsoon down on you and you'll forget you’re a person while the weather worsens as I did, I’ll take away your rights as you did with mine

Wait until you’re out of fight and dry your eyes with the white light that would never see you in its sights if it knew what you did with your might, you are out of line, making any argument right as long as it fits you

I’ll rain down the same thing you did to me, I’ll pour away the pain down the drain and clear my skies of your homicide

And drown your apologizing in it, when you want to be forgiven, or wish to keep living, I will bring you back in the undertow and drown your soul just like I was in the cold waters of this world of woe, the fertile ground will swallow you, bury you solemnly, choke on your dishonesty, and leave a cavity within your sanity  

My suffering drowned spirit is so cold that my bones are frozen, and my heart will never go out to you because I got the same fate like a picture frame of memories gladly savagely hidden away given to me from within my prison of a youth

I suffered thanks to you thanks to you

I’ll rain down a monsoon on you, just like the one that consumed me, leaving no air to breathe, no energy

And you’ll see what it feels like to soak in sorrow, to wade in regret, to bathe in death, and drown under the thunder of sadness

Let the monsoon clear your madness, but skies will never clear for hell’s heroes, and water will never hear a monster among the fallen leaves, and the fallen angels of autumn will never grieve for the meaningless

Miracles don't happen, I know from experience

Author's Note

I very seldom reply to reviews, but I promise I read EVERY single one. I look forward to my next review because it helps me learn. Even if it's just one word, I promise, I will be ecstatic to have the chance to hear what you have to say. Whenever you write something about my poems, or the themes of my poems, or criticize me it is not in vain. I will listen, learn and be thankful.