Hatred is Hopeless

My second attempt at Ghazal, hoping I'm a little closer to this lovely poetic form, I have a lot to learn, but every step is full of enjoyment! This poem is Lovecraftian, I may come back to it to edit

Hatred my patron is blatantly ignorant, sacred is the loathing of the newly created

Saving my stationed animations complacent, faded is the hopes of the newly created

 

Clutching my side I bleed out my pride, ancient insides feed the minds of the newly created

Rushing to collide, angry and alive, factions of the infatuated heed the cries of the newly created

 

Unified, hope will arise, people will prosper, and sickness will die, to fill the skies with lives of the newly created

Crucified, open your eyes, evil is lost here, vindictive with lies, to defy the sunlight with the guise of the cruelly forsaken

 

Awesome is the power of worlds, of people and places, goodness and war, to warm the core of the newly created

Blossoming infinite cowards unfurled, of teachers of hatred, purpose and gore, to storm the seafloor with the newly created

 

R.J Calzonetti, you were never ready to hold your hands steady enough to feel, to live truly, your emotions aren’t real, mere shaded by the gulley drowned nation

Away with forgetting, future severed clever fools command every bluff to give in losing, for abortion’s a meal, forces of steel eerily sated, a virus, a bible of the newly created

 

Hatred grows blossoms from the fossils of ill-fated monsters, cancerous bothers are the newly created

Avian groves grovel colossal to form a castle off oceanic elated harvests, answerless bottom ridged are the waters under the ocean of emotions, newly created

Hatred is hopeless, under the ocean, drown in emotion, no one will notice, bottomless motion, full of self-loathing, the waters are open, the depths are lividly copious, the world is finally beginning, from humanities cities of hatred, bring a sinning sensation, a Lovecraftian pretty, as you choke on your pity, the new world is winning, the hatred is soothing, Cthulhu is singing, dominion of the future, alive and pulsating, I feel the world moving, a soundlessness growing, human wit chosen, the tides leave me skaken, completely forsaken, Cthulhu’s imposing, drown on that hatred, immerse yourself in it, struggle against nature, and lose all that’s sacred

Author's Note

I very seldom reply to reviews, but I promise I read EVERY single one. I look forward to my next review because it helps me learn. Even if it's just one word, I promise, I will be ecstatic to have the chance to hear what you have to say. Whenever you write something about my poems, or the themes of my poems, or criticize me it is not in vain. I will listen, learn and be thankful.

Reviews

[Ghost writer]

I totally get that feeling of drowning, all the time, it's like suffocating in your own emotions and it washes over you like cold water, pulling you farther and farther down until there's no way you can reach the surface before you drown, very good Mr. sinister potato sir

[.]

👉Progress-
-You maintained two line system.
-You maintained rhyming scheme up-to first 2 stanzas.👍...
But it's to be maintained in the whole poem.

👉Now notice these points-
A ghazal consists of a series of couplets (two-line verses), with each line containing the same number of syllables.
Each couplet is a separate, complete mini-poem, so there's no need for any narrative progression, or any real connection between the couplets.
Both lines of the first verse end with the qaafiya and radif.

👉Now what's Quaafia and Radif-
Every verse ends with the same word or group of words (radif). It makes sense to choose one that can be flexible in use and meaning, so you can use it in different ways in each verse.
The qaafiya is a rhyme that precedes the radif. Again, pick something with lots of possibilities.

Important points before you start-
👉Decide what your radif is going to be.
👉Consider what your qaafiya is going to be.
👉Get writing!

Feel free to type to me if you get more questions regarding this. I would love to help.
And I won't say much about this poem because it's a trial. But I would surely give reviews once it's perfect to be called Ghazal. I am sure the perfect is coming soon.

Good Luck! 👍😏

[R.J Calzonetti (SinisterPotatoe)]

Thank you for teaching me, I'll continue to try to learn until I can write this poetic form correctly. I'll let you know the moment I finish my next attempt!

[.]

Good spirit! I will be waiting for that.
Good Luck!

[wordman]

you are right jack,but it is instilled in many less fortunate folk