Innocent Madness

Just a little poem I pumped out in about an hour. Based on my two and a half years of hospitalization for my mental illness. And how I've come to accept who I am, and appreciate my perspective. Enjoy!

The world unfurled its cloak of darkness

The shadows grew in blooming shade

The scythe of god, man left for harvest

In the bowels of day, life fades away

 

The night grew through seeded sanctuary

The day relegated stasis in a haze

The eyes of sun bore visionaries

Blind monks of thunder, grey clouds that gaze

 

The works of fiction became my prison

As I sat within my padded cell

Skies aurora bright with isolation would not listen

And they would never hear me yell

 

I looked to find some kind of peace

I woke inside asylums choked

I looked through worlds I could not see

And I found there was no kind of hope

 

But the voices orchestra would not cease

And the devil’s symphony became my soul

I walked a mountain with my naked feet

And my cell became my home

 

I left that place and looked not back

Day by day my body freed but not my mind

I stayed away but never left

As if I had been buried behind

 

The solemn seed of doubt serpentine

It roped a snake around the halls

Sublime drought of times I burned alive

And times I drowned, that I would fall

 

I found myself back in my cell

I never left regretful of it all

I tried to leave the belly and look out the mouth

Crushed between concrete teeth and jaw

 

And that hellish monster of a place still bellows seldom sounds

And the hospital that saw my death breathes within its walls

And the behemoth legion of half-dead reason found

A place within a madman’s heart

 

And that place would shut away

Everything that died, darkening, since that day

And I would find in disordered time

That I lived between two worlds divide

 

Madness or sanity, drowned or sun-dried?

Undead or half-alive, sky or earth?

And I knew that I would always smile

Upon the violence of insanities birth

 

But I have chosen to defy

Unimaginative sanitary ravaging hell

Because my madness still defines

The right to not rely on rational

 

Not everything is real, I cannot rely on myself

But my imagination sees true beauty

I have no need for mental health

My discord morphs my own form of unity

 

So I left the hospital, and left my sanity behind

Jumped into the impossible, the madness gladly realized

And I learned to speak with elevated voice

And was happy with my sacred choice

And this way of thinking became my jam

God gave me madness, magic, made me man

And no one could say I wasn't human

And my spirit, sulfuric miracle, fearless, continued blooming

Author's Note

I very seldom reply to reviews, but I promise I read EVERY single one. I look forward to my next review, because it helps me learn. Even if it's just one word, I promise, I will be ecstatic to have the chance to hear what you have to say. Whenever you write something about my poems, or the themes of my poems, or criticize me it is not in vain. I will listen, learn and be thankful.

Reviews

[Caleb Bailey]

It takes a lot for me to read a poem and love it, and I love this.

[Pete]

you have a very creative/ interesting way of using words and weaving imagery as you tell a tale from the dark side. this one the best of yours that i've read i think ... :)

[R.J Calzonetti (SinisterPotatoe)]

Thank you very much! I usually have used styles that are a bit off the beaten path. But occasionally, I'll go back to the roots of poetry, and write something like this.

[@_av_poetry]

I love the words you use in this poem, all of them beautiful in their simplicity make up a complex meaning.
I particularly like the line "I walked a mountain with my naked feet."
There's something very tortured about this poem.
Great piece of work. Good job :)

[R.J Calzonetti (SinisterPotatoe)]

Thank you, sometimes simple poems can have means and questions that are quite complex. Just like a complex poem can be quite simple. I like the duality of that, and although I have a lot to learn, I'll continue to try to come up with interesting poems.

I'm glad you liked this. Feel free to drop by and read any of my poems. I'll check out some of yours as well.

[.]

"There's always a bright day after a dark night." I won't say it was difficult because no one has the right to certify your struggles but we witness your victory that you've shown us through your poem. "The strongest mountain started as a stone, I once was weak, but now I've grown." I am sure this is what your poem means if I say in your own line. No one likes to see themselves like others but we exist because we know what we are truly like. Always be the one you are, everyone here likes your poems this way.

[R.J Calzonetti (SinisterPotatoe)]

You are absolutely right. Thank you for sharing your wisdom and optimism. You have a good understanding of things. Our experiences are our own, but all the same there will always be others who are willing to help us change from stone to mountain.

[.]

I would love this poem on the website. Hope you will add it soon😊

[R.J Calzonetti (SinisterPotatoe)]

I'm not good with computers, so I don't know how to add it. Could you add it for me please? Any poem you like, feel free to add to the site. :)

[.]

Ok... Thanks, I will add it soon.😅

[Chris Shaw]

I have people close to me who suffer from psychosis and I know how difficult life can become fighting voices and dealing with the fallout. This is a well written poem and not too lengthy. I do have an issue with really long poems. My attention span goes. This is a creative write, rhymes and flows well. Many people have their own demons to deal with, it takes courage to be open about it. All good wishes

Chris

[R.J Calzonetti (SinisterPotatoe)]

Thanks Chris, I think it's almost normal for people to go through some small form of madness in their lives. Sometimes you can learn from it, even if it is painful to deal with. I understand that long poems take for ever to read. I have a bad habit of writing longer ones, but I'm getting better at writing medium sized poems. I promise to share more soon, around the same size.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

"works of fiction became my prison"

there is such a fine line sometimes between sanity and madness.
Poe hovered on the line...Plath hovered on that line.
I am sure many can take much away from this...those who have experienced same...and those who have their own kind of madness...i think most poets have a very dark place they go...
we lose ourselves in our art...and sometimes the art is all we have that defines our touch with reality...if there is one.
sad and moving here. Also an exceptional use of metaphor to describe the state of mind.
j.

[R.J Calzonetti (SinisterPotatoe)]

Thank you for sharing your thoughts Jacob. I agree completely. Us poets are emotional. Madness is full of emotion.

[HB Rita]

A wonderful but sad poem about someone’s psychological, emotional and physical pain. We are always trapped into something, we feel we are free but we are not. We make alot sacrifises to move on, again we found ourselves in the same platform!
We have made a brilliant art of suffering, pain, emotions with an unique style that can pull readers to get stuck on your next line.
Thank you for sharing and keep writing.

[R.J Calzonetti (SinisterPotatoe)]

Thank you for reading, and sharing your understanding of the topic. We make the most of what we have, that is true beauty.

[HB Rita]

Keep writing

[R.J Calzonetti (SinisterPotatoe)]

For sure! :)

[wordman]

sometimes we feel trapped within our selves

[R.J Calzonetti (SinisterPotatoe)]

Yeah, it's a sad feeling.

[wordman]

so,get some sunshine,take a walk

[R.J Calzonetti (SinisterPotatoe)]

I will, thanks :)

[wordman]

listen to the birds sing,smell the spring fragrances

[R.J Calzonetti (SinisterPotatoe)]

On my way home from school, definitely. That always helps.

[wordman]

smoke you one and drink a reds apple ale

[R.J Calzonetti (SinisterPotatoe)]

That would work too! :)

[wordman]

hell,you probably did,,what school do you attend

[R.J Calzonetti (SinisterPotatoe)]

College, taking social work

[wordman]

good for you

[R.J Calzonetti (SinisterPotatoe)]

Thanks wordman! :)

[FaeryQueen]

"I left that place and looked not back

Day by day my body freed but not my mind

I stayed away but never left

As if I had been buried behind"

these lines hit me hard- mostly because i myself do feel trapped but in the inverse, my mind is freed but i feel that my body is trapped.. and sometimes i'd tell myself i am free but wouldn't feel as such. as for the part about being buried behind, sometimes when i want to do something that i otherwise wouldn't do sometimes i have to bury the parts that tell me not to do them out of fear just so i can have a clear mind when i want to do said tasks that would require me to take that action prior.


and then these parts:

"[...]Not everything is real, I cannot rely on myself

But my imagination sees true beauty

I have no need for mental health

My discord morphs my own form of unity



So I left the hospital, and left my sanity behind[...]"

i can relate to these because i as hospitalised too for my DID, but it didn't get the attention it should have but im thankful for that because im now more able to focus on myself and my spiritual as i've taken that route for healing. that and poetry.



as always, thank you for sharing, i enjoy reading your poems and should make a habit of reading them everyday as it does fill me with a kind of inspiration for my future poems... so thank you tenfold for sharing, there is always someone somewhere out there that is meant to hear these words, or any one's word for that matter and that is why i believe we should never leave anything bottled up inside. in whatever form it may come in, we should always try to release what it has that holds us hostage.

i can't stop myself once i start, ok, many thanks, i tend to close my thoughts with bless it be, my poems are a different kind of thought, i would certainly specify them as personal feelings, ok, wooooowwwww heh..... Bless it be!

[FaeryQueen]

-*was
-*spiritual journey
-*we should try to release what has us held hostage
[corrections]

[R.J Calzonetti (SinisterPotatoe)]

I’m always happy to hear another writer has inspiration from my poems. Thank you for sharing about yourself. There is strength in sharing who you are with pride. Feeling trapped may suck, but I think it convinces us to make connections with others, and be creative. I don’t like feeling trapped, but I can appreciate that it gave me enough different things to write about. Hopefully someday we will overcome that feeling and have a story to tell. Rather than taking medication or conventional therapy, I find expressing yourself and exposure to the world around us is more likely to work. To find yourself without fear is better than ignoring your feeling through meds. I’m addicted to the medication I’m on now, and rely on it heavily. I wish I could have overcome my problems without an artificial victory.

[FaeryQueen]

if i didnt respond to this that would be rude for me personally, i normally respond to replies. I think a victory should be a win, it should stand alone as something you've overcame... however, i dont think your addiction to your medication will be chronic, i like to believe in the unthinkable and im ridiculously optimistic about situations... so i think you should have faith that soon enough, you wont need your medication to achieve a victory... however, you DID achieve one and that must feel good!

Blessings!
-khatoon

[Annette Pisano-Higley]

Like Blake, like Poe, like Dante, you traverse the seven circles of hell your mind courageously climbs in this poetic purification by fire, R.J. This poem is an epic of personal transcendence. My heart reaches out to you and my tears fall for all the suffering and horror you’ve been through in your life. For all of the pain. You bravely share here the brilliant imagery and metaphor of your ongoing psychological, emotional odyssey. You are a lion-heart my friend. Each apocalyptic verse can stand alone, each word perfect and honest. Lyrical, rhymed, beautifully cadenced style cloaks the traumatic content and ferries the reader through Stygian waters. I exhale only as you emerge alive, clean, pristine, whole of spirit, at peace. Rational and irrational are only a matter of perspective. We who pen have all crossed the line, sometime. Your important confessional poem will help many who live on both sides of that line. It is Master-Class and unforgettable. One to save. Thank you.

[R.J Calzonetti (SinisterPotatoe)]

I'm so happy to hear your praise, I'm glad you enjoyed my work. Honestly, the way you wrote the review was a poem in itself too. People like you change writing from simple enjoyment to pride and happiness. Thank you for your kind words.

[Annette Pisano-Higley]

My poem to you R.J.! Praise for this poem is so well-deserved. You write from a place of truth, experience and inspiration. It touches my heart. Kudos and you’re so welcome!

[Annette Pisano-Higley]

Blessings and peace wished to you my good-hearted friend.🌈✌️

[R.J Calzonetti (SinisterPotatoe)]

Thank you, same to you Annette! I’ll be sure to check out your poetry in the future. I’m sure I’d greatly enjoy the read!

[Annette Pisano-Higley]

Come by anytime R.J. !:))