Wings

Another new poem. I really love this one!

Spectral ectoplasm of a mountainside spearheaded with the revenants regurgitating glaciers in darkness’s leisure emancipated light’s neighbourhood the immaterial bureaucrats of the collateral manifestation infatuated with facilitating draconic confidantes homunculus like elemental sentinels of interstellar Valkyries articulating alliterations reintegrating incarnations of bastions radioactive cataclysms splintering ammunition’s ricocheting of aether’s claymore a grimoire artisan of endeavouring hemorrhages in the heavens of my memories contemporary chariots that merit the clairvoyance of knowing someday these clouds will pass, and the sky melts into night, and pinpricks of hope will not be able to guide my overcast past self, but still ignite the mind of my enlightenment

And the aroma of those moments comatose oceans are still images, in picture frame wavelengths dancing but immobilized tranquillity

But that hope is immortal, and I will carry every piece of it on my back, puzzled by the crumbling umbrage of conundrums constellations that while they glitter

Are not gold, but immortal metamorphosis yet to come

And it seems I was a butterfly before kissing the chrysalis of my obituary, and became a man in a dream

Not knowing if he is a butterfly, man, or manifestation

Of that hope, reborn from despair’s aromatherapy

As if I still have wings, as my words hover over hesitation, and stumble on the toes of one another

Inevitably unknowing the strobe lite of what a dream really is

Transcending sentience’s transient fantasies of imagination

Waiting to reawaken in the archangel darkness of a Rorschach, a feather in my cap

Wondering if my core will be metamorphosized, and if I still have a heart that beats like a guillotine, if not wings of tranquillity

Author's Note

I very seldom reply to reviews, but I promise I read EVERY single one. I look forward to my next review, because it helps me learn. Even if it's just one word, I promise, I will be ecstatic to have the chance to hear what you have to say. Whenever you write something about my poems, or the themes of my poems, or criticize me it is not in vain. I will listen, learn and be thankful.

Reviews

[.]

I think the first stanza gotta be rearranged, it sounds more like a prose but after that everything is good. You know what I am waiting for, so send me a read request when you write that. I can't wait to see that piece.
This is good but think over the first stanza... it's all very good otherwise. :)

[Davidgeo]

I second every word of this review.

[R.J Calzonetti (SinisterPotatoe)]

I'll see what I can do, thank you Aurora for the friendly criticism, and thank you both reading, and sharing how you feel I should improve.

[.]

Criticism! No... It's just my point of view, I am not a critique and you are knowing more than I do about poems.
I am just honest.😊

[Davidgeo]

Don't worry Aurora, you don't have to be a better writer or know more about writing to criticize someone else's writing. Criticism shouldn't be looked at as an inherently bad thing. If you have genuine intentions criticism is not a bad thing at all... it's how we grow and improve, so I would argue that it's a really good thing.

[R.J Calzonetti (SinisterPotatoe)]

It is definitely a good thing, like David said. Friendly criticism is something I appreciate. Sorry for the misunderstanding, I'm actually quite happy you shared what you thought, so thank you both.

[Kay Salisu Titilola]

This is a good writing.
A well conveyed piece with pictures.
You only need to make it more clearer, it's a bit obfuscating.

[Ghost writer]

I think that's pretty cool and I like the style of this one.

[Pete]

the first stanza is like being shot with a vocabulary and imagery machine gun. third stanza is by far my favorite because you slow it down and give time to digest. reading you is like watching a movie montage of different scenes that flicker by ever so quickly. you've got so much going in. out of this world stuff of another dimension. whew ... :)

[wordman]

i believe you have been possessed by edgar all poe

[R.J Calzonetti (SinisterPotatoe)]

Thank you for the complement! I highly respect the guy. And if so, I'll avoid exorcists.

[wordman]

yeah,please do

[DAH]

Your imagery is fabulous, in all of your pieces.

The big bump in your work, for me, is the one paragraph density,
and the extra diction. Word heavy comes to mind. It's hard for this reader
to keep track with what's going on ...

this is neither right nor wrong, just my simple viewpoint.

Keep writing, keep pushing.

Cheers!

[R.J Calzonetti (SinisterPotatoe)]

I'm happy you liked it! I'm still thinking about whether or not I should change things or not, because the first stanza I feel fits my style, but everyone who left a comment agrees that it should be changed. I'm a little unsure at the moment, but I'll change things if I think I could improve by modifying the first stanza. Thank you so much for reading, and the review!