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"Toxicity"

"Toxicity"

A Poem by Sir_Anonymous
"

This is the life of a man now ruined by his love...

"

Now darling I must say I love you very much… but why do I always feel the feeling of my throat being cut?


Each and every time I speak my mind when I am right and you're wrong but I concede anyways because of that conniving grace you play with so well…. Oh isn't that swell?


that look you hold is worn well and though I try not to dwell on the what if’s I can’t help but wonder just how many men this charming temptress has been with?


This is toxic, this relationship we have but though you may be rough on the edges you're just so smooth on the surface that I’m caught awestruck with my jaw leaving me to meet the floor and my brain running out the emergency door.


Appearance is what you had, your appearance was what you kept just kept up the charade of batting eyelashes and air kisses and would you know it before I even knew it I fell for you.


My bleeding heart was pierced by cupid's arrow and strung along to your side it was now and evermore caught in your seductive web of "Love".


A weave of false innocence holding cute smiles and vile remarks, for behind closed doors there lies the truth for none but me to view; where only the walls can hear all of the things you seem to just seemingly blame upon me.


Yes I suppose the broken phone against the wall was because I didn't catch it at all and just let it fall?


Or all of those times you got into fights with other individuals and thus forced me into the spot of fight or flight…. My pride chose unwisely.


Now fined with assault and a bill full of texts and calls to people I don't know of at all.


Loving you is like cutting myself voluntarily all to show you I can bleed for your name I can’t keep this side of you tame so why must I allow her to cage me instead like some uncouth beast?


Oh but I love her so much “well tough... life is rough.”


Don’t you think I know that already? “Who are you talking to?”


You!?


"….Me?"


God she is wrecking me with this unjust reckoning she has placed me through; to oversee just watch my life crumble so she can watch it from the stands cheering for the other team.


“Break this shame of a man!”


Does she want me to get mad or go mad?


I can’t tell!


*Screaming Out of Frustration*


I’m losing it! I may carry out my own poetic justice soon as this paper and pen is not enough to cover the blood I have bled!

“There’s the knife don't think just grab it and make sure to sharpen it twice!”



Everything will be all right!.... Right?


“I mean we've got to rewrite the wrongs she's done to you don’t we?”


I must wait she's still gone today but come dawn she  always slithers back in and gets her way over me.


God I hate her so very much how did I fall for this…. “B***h!” yes that is it that's what she is for now and for evermore of her pitiful existence!


(Hey babe I know I just got back but I need to go soon my “Friends” are waiting for me so be a dear and spot me a couple fifties okay baby?)


Sorry Dove but we have other plans….. “To do so let's cut to the chase”...Shall we?


Now darling I must say I love you very much but….. “I need to cut you out of my life!”... Permanently!



© 2017 Sir_Anonymous


Author's Note

Sir_Anonymous
So what did you think?

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Featured Review

Great job taking the prompt and running with it!
This poem is very well done.

I REALLY loved how you created such a vivid image of deceit with a near rhyme within only the first two lines.

The third and fourth stanzas really stuck out to me as you expressed real feelings of a toxic relationship with a lot of personification.

For me personally, visual imagery is what I need, and you most definitely hit that mark.

I also like how you made the mc seem like he was involved with a person who had NPD. The female mc displayed instances of narcissism when she blamed the male mc for not catching the vase she'd thrown at him. She also got him to fight with other people because it was like instant gratification to feed her NPD. Among all of the instances, these two stuck out the most to me because of how well you were able to tell the audience what happened by implying and not stating.

To be honest, she does sound like a b***h, and I fully expected the male mc to just leave her.

However, you really surprised me by how you transitioned from a sane, nice guy to this dude who completely lost his cool.

I guess emotional abuse would be considered a form of domestic abuse, and it makes sense that the male mc would snap. You used a completely new personality for him when he went to "cut" the female mc out of his life "permanently".

If I were placed into such an abusive relationship, I would want to "sharp the knife twice" as well.

In addition to that, I loved how ironic displayed when the mc said he felt like loving the girl was like "voluntarily cutting[himself]", but then he went ahead and cut her up instead.

Critics:
1. When you said, "Loving you is like... me instead like some uncouth beast" I really got confused because you went from talking about the female mc in 2nd person to talking about her in 3rd person.

2. This poem only had one mistake that initially didn't really jump out at me. It was toward the end, when the woman was talking to the mc.

She said, " Hey babe I know I just back but I need to go soon....couple fifties okay baby?"

It should have said "I just got back".

P.S. You made a great reference to some of your other work with the "sharpen the knife twice" line. It was pretty good, and I liked it.

Best of luck to you!

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Sir_Anonymous

7 Years Ago

Yeah I was typing it up and left that sentence incomplete on accident whoops (I type too quickly for.. read more
Njeri Brooks

7 Years Ago

Ahh, okay. That makes more sense. :)



Reviews

I really enjoyed reading that. I loved the end! Nice writing!

Posted 6 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Sir_Anonymous

6 Years Ago

Thank you kindly, Donna. I am glad to hear this was to your liking. I am truly sorry for not noticin.. read more
Tragic, but the good kind, you've taken a really great concept that everyone could relate too and turned it into magic!

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Sir_Anonymous

6 Years Ago

Dear me, it has been time coming I know but nonetheless thank you for reading this and enjoying it t.. read more
Sir_Anonymous

6 Years Ago

* been a long time coming

* for nearly
It felt like it was real. Like you experienced this. I hope that was not the case of course. But the feeling was indeed portrayed very well. Thanks for sharing and good luck.

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Sir_Anonymous

7 Years Ago

Never happened to me but It seems I was convincing enough in my writing to portray it to such a poin.. read more
This comment has been deleted by the poster.
Great job taking the prompt and running with it!
This poem is very well done.

I REALLY loved how you created such a vivid image of deceit with a near rhyme within only the first two lines.

The third and fourth stanzas really stuck out to me as you expressed real feelings of a toxic relationship with a lot of personification.

For me personally, visual imagery is what I need, and you most definitely hit that mark.

I also like how you made the mc seem like he was involved with a person who had NPD. The female mc displayed instances of narcissism when she blamed the male mc for not catching the vase she'd thrown at him. She also got him to fight with other people because it was like instant gratification to feed her NPD. Among all of the instances, these two stuck out the most to me because of how well you were able to tell the audience what happened by implying and not stating.

To be honest, she does sound like a b***h, and I fully expected the male mc to just leave her.

However, you really surprised me by how you transitioned from a sane, nice guy to this dude who completely lost his cool.

I guess emotional abuse would be considered a form of domestic abuse, and it makes sense that the male mc would snap. You used a completely new personality for him when he went to "cut" the female mc out of his life "permanently".

If I were placed into such an abusive relationship, I would want to "sharp the knife twice" as well.

In addition to that, I loved how ironic displayed when the mc said he felt like loving the girl was like "voluntarily cutting[himself]", but then he went ahead and cut her up instead.

Critics:
1. When you said, "Loving you is like... me instead like some uncouth beast" I really got confused because you went from talking about the female mc in 2nd person to talking about her in 3rd person.

2. This poem only had one mistake that initially didn't really jump out at me. It was toward the end, when the woman was talking to the mc.

She said, " Hey babe I know I just back but I need to go soon....couple fifties okay baby?"

It should have said "I just got back".

P.S. You made a great reference to some of your other work with the "sharpen the knife twice" line. It was pretty good, and I liked it.

Best of luck to you!

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Sir_Anonymous

7 Years Ago

Yeah I was typing it up and left that sentence incomplete on accident whoops (I type too quickly for.. read more
Njeri Brooks

7 Years Ago

Ahh, okay. That makes more sense. :)

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549 Views
4 Reviews
Rating
Added on January 17, 2017
Last Updated on January 18, 2017
Tags: Dark, Thriller, Twisted, Maniacal, Split Personality, Love, Abusive, Cheating

Author

Sir_Anonymous
Sir_Anonymous

Austin, TX



About
I was once a teen who found himself feeling cornered in life where just about nothing was going right and could never really speak my mind this only pushed more towards the construction of this artifi.. more..

Writing