A Faerie's Tale

a story of a faerie's journey told in rhyme

 

 

 

A Faerie’s Tale

‘neath the willow on the bank

‘mid the soil, dark and dank

Lies a dwelling small in size

Hidden from most human eyes.

 

Under reeds and pickerelweeds

Where the light of day recedes

In a toadstool, hollowed out

A wee faerie sits about.

 

Gossamer wings and flaxen hair

A skirt of leaves, she does wear

Sewn so neatly round her waist.

Bodice, up her back, is laced.

 

Gently set upon her head

Is a crown of flowers, red.

Slippers made from birch’s bark

Skin as pale as night is dark

Green eyes shine in candle’s light

Mischief glitters, gleaming bright

Light repast of berries ate

Blows out candle; through the gate

 

Flutters wings and takes to flight

Flitting, floating, impish sprite

For small treasures she will search.

Spots a bird upon its perch

 

Hears the magpie as it sings

Tales of glittering, shining things.

So she listens as she waits

To the story he relates

“O’er the meadow’s grassy sea

Cross the land of fern and tree

High atop the craggy peak

Lies the treasure that you seek.

“In a cave on mountain’s side

There a goblin, he does hide

Hoard of gold and silver too

Careful be, lest he trap you

“Tiny faerie shall you be

To an adequate degree

Into stew that he shall make

A goblin’s hunger he shall sate.

“Wait until the sun is high

Sleeping goblin, sneak on by

Round the body on the floor

Grab some gold, then out the door.”

Journey safely back, my friend.”

The magpie’s song drew to an end.

In a bag wrapped round her waist

A little offering was encased 

Debt, by golden thimble, paid

For information he relayed

Grasped in beak, he took flight

Circled once, then out of sight.

Nodding once, then nodding twice

Back to toadstool in a thrice

Packing fruit and bits of bread

For the journey’s path ahead

 

 

 

 

 

 

Author's Note

This is a poem/story that I have been working on so it is unfinished and still a rough draft. I intend to keep writing and add the story of the actual journey, but I would really like some feedback on what I have so far. Does it make sense, flow, give good enough descriptions... Any and all feedback is appreciated!

Reviews

[B.D.]

I so enjoyed this piece Sharon. Your word choices set an unremarkable tone. I could smell the dampness and moss! The rhyme was invisible and let the story shine thru, although I did stumble over "Is a crown of flowers, red" So, yes it does make sense, and I think you delivered the action (or the anticipation of it) in a timely enough manner to keep the 'wee' readers/listeners engaged. I feel like its has a good flow and descriptive balance. Keep that action coming!
I hope the faerie doesn't end up in a stew. lol. And I'm wishing she has a really fun reason to want to steal the gold and silver. I wonder if youre going to could keep the dark, eerie (sp) feel going while adding some fun/humor...or are you going to take another direction? Can't wait to read more! Love what you've got so far.

[Sharon Kim]

Thank you, Barb. Your review is very helpful! You have given me a lot to think about as I haven't planned out the whole story! Lol I was thinking that the faerie was just wanting more shiny things, but that does not make her noble or particularly endearing!!! I have some work to do! I'll keep you posted. Thanks again!

[Angi]

This is a lovely poem so far! I love faeries and mythical things. My 13 year old daughter still looks for them in our backyard. I wrote one for her called, "Backyard Fairies." She would love this one, I know. I will have to show it to her tomorrow! Angi~

[Sharon Kim]

Thanks, Angi! Is the fairy poem you wrote on here? I'd love to read it! I just read your poem on cleaning the bathroom. It's amazing how quickly the kids grow up. It makes me happy to think that your 13 year old still looks for fairies. I hope she continues to do so for a long time!

[Angi]

Yes, I have it on here somewhere. Maybe on the 3rd or 4th page of my writings. It is a pretty short piece. I would love for you to read it when you have time. She is growing up so fast. I hope she always looks for magic.

[Catlen]

This would make a lovely story. Fantastic images!!! I simply love it! I'm waiting for more!

[Sharon Kim]

Thank you, Catlen!

[Leonard Birch]

I love you work Sharon. I too had to look up a few words and enjoy this as well. It makes one appreciate the work more. Keep posting as I feel you have a great gift.
Thanking you.
Leo

[Sharon Kim]

Thank you so much, Leonard. I am honored by your words!

[Krystle Lewallen]

This is wonderful. It flows very nicely, I actually had to look up a few words to understand (and I like that, it made me think and I learned some new words) but once I did it was beautiful and very descriptive. I could picture the faerie and the goblin. The whole thing played out nicely in my mind. Just fantastic!

[Sharon Kim]

Thank you! (I looked up plants that lived near a pond or river and that's how I found pickerelweeds-Lol!) I'm happy you liked it!

[Rita L. Sev]

Great flow, very lyrical and visually engaging. You paint these pictures beautifully. I would love to see illustrations for this - you have given every detail. Wonderful write, Sharon!

[Sharon Kim]

Thank you, Rita! I had my brother read it and he said the same thing about illustrations. I only wish I had the artistic talent to do it! Thank you for reading it!

[Dr. Wood ?]

I love this..and I know how you feel..I write mainly for kids and it can be hard sometimes because Poems become too long..I do find however that it is far easier to construct a story in rhyme and then, if it has potential, convert it into prose...I have managed to do this a couple of times with some of my longer poems..I think that you should persevere with this as it is clearly a labour of love for you and yo seem to have a natural gift for telling children's stories

[Sharon Kim]

Thank you for reading this and commenting. I kind of picture this in my mind as a children's book with beautiful, watercolor-like illustrations. Thank you for your kind words. I will be sure to check out your writing. I tried writing a children's story- Fly. I would love to get your take on it.
Thanks again! Sharon