You...

You...

A Poem by Dr.Who.LOVER
"

this is just a poem that came to me while i was staring at the stars

"
    Unless you can see inside my heart.
    "Theres no way you could Possibly Understand"
    How he makes me feel.
    Isn't it funny How the people who said " I'll never hurt you", are the ones who hurt you the worst.
I was lookin' up at the stars..and giving each reason why i love you...I was doing great untill I ran out of stars.
    Even heaven is hell without you! Take my hand  i swear we will make it together [
    I love how my friends say they can trust me but they never tell me anything ever.     Winning doesnt always mean being first, Winning means you're doing better than you're done before.
    I love you..
    Everything will be okay in the end, If its not okay, its not the end.
I know  im not perfect and I know you're not perfect either but I know in my heart that we're perfect for each other.
 l love you...But when i think you dont care and you just stare at me, I wonder if you do like me or you do care or anything important..Dont put your love at risk! because u will regret everyday being with that one person.
    When the power of love, overcomes the love of power, The world will know PEACE!
    There's so many was to say I love you, But i like the regular was of saying it. I love you. The saddest part isn't that with each passing day I feel like I need you more, But it's the fact that you don't need me at all...
    FAITH
    Had been Broken, Tears must be cried, Lets do some living a f t e r we die..
   

© 2010 Dr.Who.LOVER


Author's Note

Dr.Who.LOVER
fixed a couple of thing

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Reviews

i think we've all been in that place. this does seem a bit jumbled but when you're bursting with emotions that need to be on paper, it doesn't matter if it fits a certain format. good work

Posted 10 Years Ago


Lot of good sayings in there. Great job.

Posted 11 Years Ago


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... this is amazingly good content ... and though the structuring is unconventional and the presentation is unusual ... this write works for me as it is immensely intense and expresses some dimensions of existence, attachment, love and peace ... that are critical for all of us ... there are so many elements of life here that all of us think about and try and negotiate all the time ... i think what makes this write special is the earnestness with which it has been written and its universal appeal ... a great piece of work ... one that you should really, really cherish ...

Posted 11 Years Ago


that last line has to be my favorite. :) I love how this jumps around alittle. Makes my mind get only the 1st impression of every phrase. This is great.

Posted 11 Years Ago


Biting my tongue over the issue of: Writing, not Texting; this was a good set of prose. That's right, Prose. This is not a real poem. Albeit it is full of emotion it is not technically poetry. If you wish to take up this style of writing I suggest you take up a book; preferrably of the Romance/relationship genre. Albeit the last line was a work of art*

"The ones you love are the ones you hurt the most"

Posted 11 Years Ago


Honestly, two things:
1) This seemed really scattered to me. Disorganized. I know that you're pretty much talking about one person the whole way through, but in a somewhat random fashion.
2) I know you said to ignore grammar and spelling, but it is so distracting, that I couldn't possibly. When you capitalize in the middle of a sentence, it just kind of sticks out and glares at you. Of course, this is coming from a grammar freak.

I think that if you made some more effort into cleaning this up and organizing it, it could be a great piece. There are some great emotions felt through these words, and some great lines, just very difficult to read in the fashion that you've written them. Overall, a good piece with a great deal of potential.

Posted 11 Years Ago


Very powerful. Good work.

Posted 11 Years Ago


Oh My God...Painfully beautiful. Great Read. Keep us up to date.

Posted 11 Years Ago


Aww, very cute! I thought that this piece was relatable, heartfelt, and even vulnerable in a way. You had a lot of really great lines in this piece, and I kind of wished you had taken more care into linking them all together, as it would've made your poem flow a lot better. However, the emotion was definitely there, and the feelings that you described evoked a lot of memories (both good and bad, I have to admit) for me. I loved the line 'Winning doesnt always mean being first, Winning means you're doing better than you've done before.'
~PaperHearts

Posted 11 Years Ago


that was so touching and really amazing. nice write up. liked it a lot.
indeed it is true that people who say that they will never hurt you are the ones who en up hurting you

Posted 11 Years Ago



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Added on May 8, 2010
Last Updated on May 19, 2010
Tags: sad, romantic, moving, confuing

Author

Dr.Who.LOVER
Dr.Who.LOVER

Pewdiepie Town, NC



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