The Mystic

The Mystic

A Poem by SonOfPlunder
"

This one is more recent than The Dark War, but still follows the same dark, grim structure

"
In ancient times they came to him
bringing him gifts of wine and women

Sacrifices for his dark arts
so men could see what lurked in their hearts

Kings, warlords and peasants all
none could resist the mystics call

His blackened grin and empty eyes
they never failed to terrify

A bestial skull upon his head
his very presence was cloaked in dread

So they flocked to him from across the land
across water, snow and sand

Even though his answers were strange and cryptic
none could deny the power of the mystic 

© 2014 SonOfPlunder


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B.J
intriguing almost a song. It flows so well love the almost haunting like the effect of a haunted castle and village

Posted 5 Years Ago


One quick lesson I learned try to stay a way from "and or but" they seem to trip up the meter sometimes. If your gonna us punctuation, use it throughout. I know, I am horrible at it! I really need my own personal editor:) I do see where people are so picky about it though when reading works:) All in all it's a great and luring piece. I have always had a fondness for Kings, Queens, & mystics! Thank you for the share! I will be back for more.

Posted 5 Years Ago


This flows so beautifully; definitely one of my favorites

Posted 5 Years Ago


SonOfPlunder

5 Years Ago

Thank you :) I very much enjoyed writing this one!
Loved the flow of this and it seemed to create a dark ancient feel to the poem... Always paint a picture with your words... And take us into a different time... Well done !

Posted 5 Years Ago


SonOfPlunder

5 Years Ago

This is the first poem i wrote after coming back to it after years of not writing poetry. Glad you l.. read more
Ghost of Jupiter

5 Years Ago

Ah, those are always the most meaningful, at least in my experience... Glad you came back to the dar.. read more
I love the fantasy within your eerie write...a haunting prelude to something evil....

It's a bewitching tale, indeed!

Nicely done! :)

Posted 5 Years Ago


SonOfPlunder

5 Years Ago

Thank you :) Again, i appreciate your feedback!
Robbie~xoxo~

5 Years Ago

Looks like you're rolling with it...great work. :)
Love fantasy stuff, and this work intrigued me. This has the makings of a great story. Are you considering turning it into a book? I think it would make for an interesting read. Great work!

Posted 5 Years Ago


SonOfPlunder

5 Years Ago

I'm currently working on a fantasy novel, with the intention of making it into a series. I have post.. read more
The goes about the lines...
tells of the fear ---
and you paint the scene ---
once more of his tale...
within the lines of this verse...

Posted 5 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

SonOfPlunder

5 Years Ago

You've left some great feedback so far. Thank you very much
Glen Yumang Manese

5 Years Ago

You're welcome...
"A bestial skull upon his head/his very presence was cloaked in dread
So they flocked to him from across the land/across water, snow and sand
Even though his answers were strange and cryptic/none could deny the power of the mystic "
Definitely fancy this piece. Splendid! The flow was a tad dodgy at times, but other than that, it was wonderful.


Posted 5 Years Ago


It says in your bio that you write fantasy, and I noticed that this is something you could integrate really easily. Kind of lord of the rings style, where there's a bard, or a chanting orc army, or some shadowy drunk man and they're singing this. This is very epic poetry, in that it tells a story without a lot of subtlety or poetic tricks. Again, it would fit into a story well, though perhaps better if it was in the present tense, i.e. his very presence is cloaked in dread, rather than was cloaked in dread. Make him alive, rather than a dead legend.

Posted 5 Years Ago


This comment has been deleted by the poster.
SonOfPlunder

5 Years Ago

One of my other pieces of writing is a story i'm currently working on. I have a lot of ideas i'm cur.. read more
A splendid read and write...Thank you for sharing...:)...............

Posted 5 Years Ago


SonOfPlunder

5 Years Ago

Thank you very much, glad you enjoyed it :)
Sami Khalil

5 Years Ago

You are welcome...:)...................

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Added on March 18, 2014
Last Updated on May 8, 2014

Author

SonOfPlunder
SonOfPlunder

Cardiff, Wales, United Kingdom



About
29 year old amateur fantasy writer and dark poet from Cardiff, South Wales. Currently working on a novel with the intention of eventually making it into an expanding series. more..

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