The Raven

While he destroys the vision of her, a beautiful dark bird in a stark white flock.

Beautiful black wings

midnight feathers

She is a dark bird

in a stark white flock

she is a beautiful bird

in a stark white wind.

Call her name, just one word,

Raven

love her,

Raven,

come to me.

Raven, oh gentle

Kind eyes and sweet,

Raven....

 

She is a strong contrast to the sun behind her,

she stretches her wings as his hand approaches

ripped from her perch, a dark blur,

while he destroys the vision of her,

a beautiful black bird

in a stark white flock,

a beautiful black bird,

whose screeches forever go unheard.

 

Author's Note

Eh? I dunno what brought this on, and...Neh, I'm in a mood today, I guess. I was given the suggestion of writing something funny at some point, and I'm starting to hatch a nice little idea. A short story would do ^^. Anyway, what do you think of the poem? Lemme know. :)

Reviews

[Ligeia]

This seems almost like a song, it's very appealing.
Love the subtle rhyme you intertwined, and the way you ended this work.
I never expected harm to come to the raven, it was a bit of a twist.
Brilliant imagery, wonderful write, talented writer.
Keep up the good work and thank you for sharing.

[Lucy Joan]

Great imagery and description of the bird! The word choice made it clear and to the point; and i like your personification of the sun and its comparison to the Raven. Beautiful poem ^-^

[Peach]

This is one creative and beautiful piece. Simply amazing. I'm almost speechless after reading this. Very well done.

[K. Carver]

Well done.

[Taylor H]

beautiful

[deeps]

This is wonderful,
I really enjoyed this
I like dark writes, This is written wonderful
You have talent

[ABitBrokenPoetry]

wow this is dark and beautiful. i love the imagery here, this beautiful black bird, amongst the white ones, brought down by this mysterious 'hand'. whether its intentional or not, there is a lot of depth behind this piece, the reader can conjure up their own meaning. a gorgeous write.

[Sean M. Addams]

this piece is deep and very beautifully done... imagery in this is breath taking ... overall nice job on this one... fav lines....She is a strong contrast to the sun behind her,

she stretches her wings as his hand approaches

ripped from her perch, a dark blur,

while he destroys the vision of her,

a beautiful black bird

in a stark white flock,

a beautiful black bird,

whose screeches forever go unheard.

[Voice11]

Its a good poem. very visual. and great wording!

[Camelotshadow]

I love black birds...there cah just resonates.