Backlash

Backlash

A Poem by Doug
"

My stomach knots when I think of what you said.

"

I can’t see I can’t
see I can’t see I can’t see
I can’t see I can’t

can’t I?

walk straight, young man,
the people who matter are here

smile for the camera, boy,
people have to look at this one

black and white, black and white
black and white, black and white

gray?

do it my way, kid,
or else.

or else?

your mother won’t be proud

bullshit.

jesus will warm his hands
over you

perhaps.

do the dead speak to you, uncle?

see I can’t see
I can’t see I can’t see I
can’t see I can’t

see?

© 2009 Doug


Advertise Here
Want to advertise here? Get started for as little as $5

Author's Note

Doug
Thanks for your thoughts.

My Review

Would you like to review this Poem?
Login | Register




Featured Review

You can nearly always tell when the words have to get out. When they have churned and stewed and boiled over until they fill the area all around us. These words are those runaway/get out of the way kind of words. A courageous young write. I think you will find the words erupt/spew/spill over more often than you will engineer them meticulously. The words write us. Looking forward to more such writes . . .

Posted 10 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

The poem starts as a swirl of confusion and eventually becomes more clear. Cool technique, one that isn't used often anymore. Not to its full potential, anyway. There are deep-rooted aches associated with this piece, but it's good. Sorry it took me so long to get to this read request.
KH

Posted 9 Years Ago


[send message][befriend] Subscribe
LJW
Makes perfect sense to me.

Everything's gray and damn those who refuse to see it.

Unique. Back to check out more.

Posted 10 Years Ago


This is one of those poems that affects me in a way that is difficult to explain... I feel it in my stomach... Does that make sense?

I love the repetition, the solidifying of a thought, only to be questioned...

Beautiful job, as always.

Posted 10 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

SO.....How did the picture turn out? I think I followed this one.

I like poetry like this.

Thanks for sharing.

Markymark

Posted 10 Years Ago


Such a truly intense read I must say the words seem to come rushing at me from all different directions. Made for a very deeply eye opening within myself as I feel myself crowding wishing to dig deeper into root of a heart beat that seem so strong and racing. The imagination had a bit of color blindness in a sense of trying to see the scene itself unfold. Very enjoyable.


Great Job!!!!!!!

Posted 10 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

there is a palpable desperation to this piece. It is undeniable and must be read. It clamors to the soul to be understood. I found it - for its simple words - a formidable write. I've missed your pen.

Posted 10 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.

I agree with emily, the feelings were boiling inside and they've spilled out in the form of these words. This type of piece is pure emotion and often the most felt from the reader. Very well expressed and something I can take in to relate in my own personal way

I like the repetative "I can't see" I can feel the tension mounting.

Posted 10 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.

You can nearly always tell when the words have to get out. When they have churned and stewed and boiled over until they fill the area all around us. These words are those runaway/get out of the way kind of words. A courageous young write. I think you will find the words erupt/spew/spill over more often than you will engineer them meticulously. The words write us. Looking forward to more such writes . . .

Posted 10 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.


Request Read Request
Add to Library My Library
Subscribe Subscribe


Stats

352 Views
8 Reviews
Rating
Added on January 8, 2009

Author

Doug
Doug

PA



About
I love both reading and writing. I have been reading for as long as I can remember, and I started writing about three years ago. I have been at it ever since. "Words have no power to impress the mi.. more..

Writing
Parked Curbside Parked Curbside

A Poem by Doug


Everything Everything

A Poem by Doug


Moment Moment

A Poem by Doug



Related Writing

People who liked this story also liked..


what I want what I want

A Poem by Emily B