Into the bermuda

When two people of different worlds fall in love, they would cross whatever dimensions to be together, even if it would only last a while.

I drift to the sound of ambience.
My visions in technicolor lights.
Streaming through my subconsciousness.
Soaring through the withering heights.

Tears now falling in reverse,
A beautiful tragedy we may be.
As the lies crumble like cigarette ash.
Across the transatlantic blue sea.

Run away with me into the Bermuda
And we’ll fade into existence eyes.
Your sad songs will linger in the air,
Along with the tears we’ve both cried.

Crossing dimensions in portal black holes.
The broken charades we used to play,
Free falling into the dying abyss,
Counting down our glory days.

So I’ll see you when I close my eyes,
Fall asleep into the same night sky,
We’ll pray tomorrow never comes,
So we’ll never have to say goodbye.

Reviews

[Rocans]

I enjoyed this one immensely! Your poem has the sort of feel to it that I like, almost fantastical and yet full of dark auguries. There are many memorable lines in this for me to pick just one. But If I had to, I'd have to say the first stanza was masterfully done. Nice work!

[Fréyjä Helvití]

Thank you so much. I deeply appreciate the positive response... :)

[Celestial Witch Child]

Very nice. I love it. It has such a dreamy, romantic feel to it. I have a couple of suggestions, though. "Ambient" is an adjective, so I recommend maybe changing it to ambiance so you don't have to add any other descriptors and distract from the perfect length of lines you have going on. (: I also recommend changing "beautifully tragedy" to beautiful tragedy. I really love this poem, though. It has such a nice style. Great work. Keep it up. (:

[Fréyjä Helvití]

Ambient is also a noun which would refer to a certain style of music that fuses electronic beats and atmospheric sounds. And the "beautifully tragedy" it's a typo. lol.. thanks for pointing that out... :)

[Celestial Witch Child]

Oh. Haha. You're right. I had a blonde moment. Sorry about that. (:

[Fréyjä Helvití]

nah it's fine... :)

[MoriartyMesa]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IHYmR5Hj8AE


I can tell the way it rolls, hand out to a nice job.

[Fréyjä Helvití]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qNqQC7R_Me4

Inspired by this song...

[TL Boehm]

a romantic bit but with a dark flourish, a surreal quality to it. Well done. Liked the line "lies crumbling like cigarette ash.

[Fréyjä Helvití]

Thank you... I was trying to limit the dark feel to this since most of my works are darkness inspired.