In the Wild

In the Wild

A Poem by Kat24
"

It is about animals in the wild.

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In the Wild

There are so many animals  in the wild.

 The thing I am going to talk about in the wild are animals.

Animals are interesting  to see in the wild.

They are interesting  to see in the wild because you can see what color they are.

You can see what they act like. You can see what they do around you, and it is just awesome to see animals in the wild.

 

 

 

© 2011 Kat24


Author's Note

Kat24
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I like your title “in the wild”. It gives the reader a bit of a hint about what’s it’s going to be about but it’s also catchy! For this poem I’m going to go over it line by line.
There are so many things in the wild.- I would change the “things” to a different word. “Things” doesn’t tell anybody anything. Change it to a more descriptive word!

But the thing I am going to talk about in the wild are animals.- At the beginning of the sentence I would take out the “but”. It’s not a great word to start off a sentence (it’s not very strong) and it doesn’t add anything to this poem. Also add a “the” before the part about “ are animals”. So the line would read (with my changes). “The thing I am going to talk about in the wild are the animals.”

Animals are cool to see in the wild.- I wouldn’t use the word cool. It’s used amongst us teenagers. But it doesn’t describe anything. Choose a different, more descriptive word!


They are cool to see in the wild because you can see what color they are,- I like this line!! Animals have so much variety. It neat to see them in their natural habit!

you can see what they act like, you can see what they do around you, and it is just fun- Nice! One again, I like how you refer to their natural habit! I like when animals can be free and just do their thing! Good call on including this! It added a lot to your poem. I would consider breaking this line up though. You have several different thoughts. So the way you have it are confusing. You probably will want to break it up with periods and commas!

I like it a lot this poem, I love animals!! They’re such a gift to us! Very cool poem, you really captured animals and the way they should be….. Roaming around the wild!! Great write!!
Please feel free to message me if you have writing questions or anything like that!





Posted 9 Years Ago


ok kat24 Try to do Hykus they have 5 sylibles then 7 then 5 again. They are super Fun. :)

Posted 10 Years Ago



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Added on October 21, 2009
Last Updated on January 17, 2011

Author

Kat24
Kat24

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My name is Katherine. I really like sports and hanging out with my friends. My favorite music is Pop. My favorite animals are Cats, Cows, and Rabbits. Thanks for reading my short bio. and don't fo.. more..

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