Prologue

We are shown how Akkania came to be.

“Order! Order!” screamed the chairman at the delegates.

“Now, can we not discuss this matter as the proper diplomats we are?” A sepulchral silence fell upon the grand hall. The final echoes of the uproar died down, and began to resonate among the room. Rows upon rows of delegates continued as far as the eye could see, each and every one of them embarrassed of their actions. At least 20 more nations had joined the United Nations since the 2000’s, but the most infamous of this group was Akkania.

Akkania was founded on a remote archipelago in the Pacific Ocean. It was located in such a position that neither Asians nor Americans could easily spot it, and if they did, the islands looked much smaller than they actually were. The native people were the Kr’ai, war-like tribesmen always looking for new sources of treasure and riches. Ultimately, this is what led them to massive infighting and the fragmentation of their society.

One fateful day, back when the world was not that young but not that old, the USS Integrity, fresh off the coast of Japan, smashed into some sharp rocks. After several violent storms and winds, it winded up on the island’s shore. About fifty men, with most of their provisions and weapons intact, manned the warship. The crew filed out, muskets in hand, ready for any natives who might try to attack. The Kr’ai, hidden in the shadows, carefully abandoned their posts behind trees and bushes. As they observed the white men, the natives thought they were gods, and the whites were brought back to the village for a feast in their honor. Once they arrived, the feast began.  Bowls of fruit, plates of meat, and other foods were piled on the table. The men took their fill until they were satisfied; all except, of course, the captain, who wanted to keep his wits sharp. Eventually, the captain congregated his crew on the Integrity.

“Men,” he said, “according to the tribe, there are many other groups scattered. We shall take this island by force; take their women, their children, and raise a race worthy of praise. We must deceive this tribe; we must convince them to help us achieve our goals. When the time is right, they too will be added to the pile of bodies, but not before they show us how to survive this infernal jungle wasteland” said the captain.

A deafening cheer rose from the crew, excited about their new mission. Immediately after that, a loud battle cry rang through the jungle. The tribe was being attacked!

“Men, to arms!” boomed the captain.

It took a while to get back to the village, but the sailors got there just in the nick of time. The invaders were making their way through the main pathways of the village.

“Ready?” the captain said as he raised his hand. About half the crew got down on one knee, the rest stayed standing up.

“Aim!” he said as the muskets cocked.

“Fire!” a cloud of smoke formed in front of them.

About 10 invading warriors fell. Others had wounds on their arms, legs, and torso. The remainder fled back into the forest. The local tribe, grateful for their rescue, offered anything they wanted; gold, women, land, the locals gesticulated. The captain answered saying he just wanted to learn their ways.

Soon enough, the entirety of the crew knew the ways of the wild. Although some of the natives fell sick and died of illnesses brought by the sailors, they denied everything, and blamed the spirits of the Kr’ai. They were trained so well in their ways, the crew could distinguish good fruit from bad, what to hunt, where to sleep, what to use as medicines. About a year later, the captain congregated the crew one more time. Giving the final directives, each man took their rifles and gunpowder. Then, somberly, they marched towards the village.

The men were dead. Women and children were taken to be raised in the ways of the sailors. From there, the crew went on to slaughter the other tribes on their island. The country known as Akkania slowly began to develop…

“Good evening, fellow delegates and distinguished members of the board,” began the Akkanian delegate, “as we know, we are on the brink of world-wide catastrophe. The only solution? Give in to the Blackhearts’ demands and continue buying their oil, no matter how expensive. They will start a war, no matter how bloody, to protect their God-given oil and the right to set the price” finished the delegate, a glint in his eye. Another delegate, Bjorn Sigurdsson of Norway, stood up.

“Pardon me, fellow delegate, but would it not be a better choice to simply cut back ever so slightly on oil? There is so little left. For almost 300 years we’ve been filling this planet with unnecessary pollution. Should we not protect this planet? It is our God-given gift as well, Akkania” finished Sigurdsson. Once again, a tumult began forming in the room, filling it with innumerable sounds…

            

Reviews

[Archia]

I think you've got a great concept here, something that could potentially be really good. There are just a few things I picked up on.
The second paragraph is almost half the chapter. It's just a bit too long. It also brings up different moments in time, so I think it should be broken up more. Here are my suggestions on where to break it up, but consider it yourself.
"Eventually, the captain congregated..."
"It took a while to get back to the village..."
These are the sentences that I think should start a new paragraph. By separating it, it will split it up a bit and make it easier to read. Chunks of writing can be daunting to read.
I also was a bit vauge on years. Only after reading this when I returned to the first page I noticed that this was set in the year 2046. I think putting it up there is a little small, I didn't look at it before I started reading so I didn't realise, and I think it is something that people will pass over. So I think it's something you might need to include either in the author's notes (because I think more people look at those), or in the story itself.
"One fateful day, back when the world was not that young but not that old" This was very vague to me, I couldn't get a grasp on when this was meant to be. Some people say the world began 4 million years ago, so I couldn't figure out if this was since the historiographical world, or the world that's 4 billion years old. I think the muskets could give away a hint, except I don't have any knowledge of that type of history and muskets could of been developed a million years ago for all I know. And this is something I'm interested to know because I want to know how old Akkania is. So I think it doesn't need to be given a precise time, but more of a gist towards a time.
The 'Blackhearts', is the tribal Akkanian's. I was just a bit confused about who this is, because the Akkanian delegate was speaking, so presumably he's talking about his nation and what he wants, but he does it in a way that makes him more like an outsider viewing it. So that confused me a little.
One more thing before I get to the good stuff, whenever there's a new speaker for dialogue it needs to be on a new paragraph.
Okay, good stuff. Great concept, I think this whole idea of a new nation that's holding the power of oil is great and it has a lot of potential to go somewhere really interesting.
I enjoyed how it went into kind of flashback mode, where it described how Akkania came to be (oh great name too). It gives a lot more understanding of the kind of people that rule and inhabit it, and that understanding is good to know. I think a lot can be said about the nation from that. Also you didn't go too deep and dabble in the unnecessary details, you stuck to what was needed and that was good.
So there's just a few things, small things mostly, but I think that has a lot of potential. And if you don't like anything I said, it's just my opinion, so ignore me.

[J_Rivera99]

Thanks for pointing out the grammar, it's huge. I should be more specific with the Blackhearts, since they're a sect of the world, not just Akkania. Really appreciate you looking at this. Now I know I should break up the chapters more.

[Aarea]

Hmmm, interesting. This story has great potential. For suggestions, I noticed that when you said, “Men,” he said, “according to the tribe...survive this infernal jungle wasteland” said the captain." You said both, "He said," and "Said the captain." That is unnecessary. Other than that, great job!

[J_Rivera99]

Thanks! Will fix it.