Realistically Romantic

To love from the book...or not.

 

Rachel turned a page as she walked down the busy hallway. She loved this book. It had just the right amount of romance without turning into a Danielle Steele novel. Everything felt so real about this book: the characters, every little thing they did, the scenery, and the love that they would eventually find in each other. It all felt so real.

 

She took this book with her everywhere she went. She had a big enough purse to squeeze it in with her almost always-empty wallet and phone book, next to her tiny, quiet cell phone, and maybe a few dinner mints. She hid it in her books during lectures, and by some miracle, still passed her classes. Nobody could really tell where she was in that dream world, let alone that she was getting lost in someone else’s dream in book form.

 

Rachel barely heard the second warning bell ringing and kept her blind walk to her homeroom. The commotion and idle chatter from everyone around her buzzed together for her, effortlessly tuning out the content of their conversations. She was bumped from time to time on her arms as she continued on. Her body already knew how many steps it would take to get to her classroom, and her feet carried her on.

 

She felt the force from his body hit her, and she closed her eyes as she collided with his hard chest. Her glasses fell off of her nose and she could hear them clang on the ground. Her hands were emptied.

 

“I’m sorry,” she heard a soothing bass voice say. She could see the blur of him bending down to pick up her fallen items. The first thing he picked up was her glasses and he put them back on her face. His soft green eyes were the first things she saw clearly.

 

“I’m sorry,” he said again, picking up her book. “I wasn’t paying attention, I didn’t realize—”

 

“It’s ok,” she said with a dazed look. He chuckled.

 

“You look like you’re a million miles away,” he said with a smile as soft as his eyes. “As usual.” Rachel realized that she had seen him around before, but couldn’t remember where she saw him. Rachel chuckled quietly, nervously.

 

“Well, I should get going,” he said. “I’ll see you soon, Rachel.” His charming smile showed off his pearly white teeth. Rachel watched him walk down the hallway, seeing him turn into her homeroom.

 

His skin was warmer than her book. She didn’t have to imagine perfection if it was right in front of her face. She couldn’t think of anything original to say to him. She bit her bottom lip. She felt the sudden frustration of not even being able to remember his name. For almost memorizing a whole romance book, she couldn’t think of something to catch his attention for something as simple as that.

 

She glanced at the dog-eared copy of her book before tossing it in the trashcan by the window that looked out to the front of the school. She noticed how the newly sprouting leaves on the trees outside were the same color as his eyes.

Reviews

Oh, yes I like this one alot :)
It's always great when the slightly nerdy, not always as well noticedgirls get to be noticed by somebody :)
and I myself am a self pro claimed book worm so I'd like to think that sort of thing happens alot :P
I really like the part at the start about her living ins omebody elses dream,but can I recommend thta you drop the "in book form" part at the end so it just says:
"Nobody could really tell where she was in that dream world, let alone that she was getting lost in someone else's dream "
Not meaning to cause offence, but it does, in my opinion, sound better that way (good line though!:))
And I love how she tosses the book in the trashcan at the end as a symbol for rididng herself of the dream world and opening the concept of real love- it's lovely :) xx Well Done xx

This was well-written and interesting. Rachael never being noticed by anyone and never noticing anyone in return due to her preference for a fictional world. It took a physical blow to pull her out of that world. I love it.

[Surrealstorm]

This was very sweet! I really liked how real it felt. It reminds me of me...i was always a bit of a loner. cute write!

[Strife]

That was cute. I liked it. It was a nice story.

[Emily B]

I saw myself in Rachel. . . I was like that in school. Come to think of it, his eyes were that color green, too. Good write. :)

[perfectlymetiKulous]

This was so sweet and meaningful. It happens to all of us. We never realize how people are noticing us, how wrapped up we may be in our own dream worlds until someone comes along and lets us know what we're missing. Your writing flows exceptionally well and is beautifully poetic. I truly loved this line:
"She noticed how the newly sprouting leaves on the trees outside were the same color as his eyes."

And the throwing away of the book to symbolize her joining the world outside the pages to experience something real. How fantastic.

[Rachel Knight]

This is charming! I like it. I'd like to give a few suggestions, if I may.

The first thing that struck me as deserving revision was the phrase "pearly white." That term is pretty cliche, and it stands out as such in the story. Be your unique writing self! You don't need to rely on cliches to get the point across that you want to.

Another thing I'd suggest is that you make it longer. Make her meet the boy again, have them grow closer over time. It doesn't have to be a lot longer to do this, just a tad bit.

My last suggestion, which actually goes along with the previous suggestion, is that you don't make her transformation quite so sudden. "The book wasn't as warm as his skin" is a very powerful perception (symbolically speaking, that is) and I felt surprised that she realized it so quickly.

Again, great story!

[Andie]

Oh my gosh! This is the cutest romantic short story I think I have ever read! I love it! Thanks for a great read!

[Lauren Xena Campbell]

From the vision to the visage, wonderful little story. I liked that at the end the dream, in it's way, comes true and she moves forward, no longer living off the dream but living for it, her growth and from the simplest of incidents. A lovely story.

[xRetroCortx]

amazing!

[Hannah Jane]

I enjoyed this! It was a pleasant read : )