My Time Alone

This is my first attempt at writing a story, any help is greatly appreciated...

My Time Alone

 

          I sat alone by a creek, listening to the music of the water splashing over the rocks. I could smell the sweet fragrance of spring wildflowers as bees were buzzing about. She spoke softly, like a butterfly floating on the breeze, wanting to know if it was ok to join me. With a nod of my head and the offering of my hand she sat beside me on a log. As we stared out at the water, a ripple formed and slowly disappeared. “How have you been?” she asked. I didn’t know how to respond; I was shocked, I was stunned to say the least. I mean I have always thought about her, talked about her. I guess it was my way of keeping her close to me.

        Again she asked, “How have you been, Stephen?” I could only answer with a shaky voice, “good”. She smiled and closed her eyes as if to bring back the memories. Before today I could only dream of this day when I could walk with her, talk with her and shed a tear with her.

        As I looked at her I saw everything that I missed; her black hair, the gleam in her eyes. She was the person I knew long ago. We sat awhile in silence with just nature surrounding us. Then she said she would like to take a walk. As we got up I offered her my arm, which she gladly accepted. I had to chuckle to myself as it brought back memories of me and my grandma walking in the cemetery to visit her grave. Leaves crunched underfoot and the clouds drifted by as we walked. “ I wish this day could last forever”, I said. She then spoke of my accident in ’86 and how she held my hand the whole time, she told me about my high school graduation and the years that followed. She spoke of Ryan only the way a grandma would do, and told me not to worry because she would watch over him forever. Then with tears in her eyes she described my wedding day; of how she sat in the front row as I read my poem for her and said my marriage vows. We stopped along the path to listen to the endless refrain of the waters eternal song. As we stood there a ripple formed followed by another, it was beginning to rain. She said she should be going as her visit was almost through; she kissed my cheek and whispered a silent ‘I LOVE YOU’. She told me that she liked my poetry and of me talking to her each day. As the wind picked up she was gone, for a moment time stood still and I was all alone. There was so much I wanted to say, so much I wanted to ask. I now know that she is always there even when I can’t see her.

 

~Stephen

Reviews

[SquinklaPsyOps]

I think you have a very interesting premise here that is completely brilliant.

Your concept of flow is very good and your descriptions are excellent.

Also you did a very good job on the plot how you explained things to us.

I liked the descriptions.