I hate to see you go

I hate to see you go

A Poem by Steven Ingels

My knees buckle when I see you
I have no other words to say becasue you take my breath
your beauty is my drug
you walk with dignity not letting anyone stand in your way
Your golden hair reminds me of gold
your eyes are like two diamonds shiniing in the sunlight
I never want to let you go. I hate to see
you go, but I love to watch you walk away

© 2013 Steven Ingels


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Knees buckle, take my breath, stand in your way, golden hair, never let you go, hate to see you go, and watch you walk away are all cliche's.

Bobbing for apples is a cliche
Bobbing for cancer is not

If you want to do poetry, that amounts to the minimum basic rule, you need to match things together in a new way.

Silence is golden has been said
Time flies, like sand through the hour glass, icy wind,

It works in music of course. You can get a grammy with a string of cliches,

Unique word arrangements is critical. If it has been said before by thousands of people, consider it covered.

My knees shudder when I glimpse you
I have no sound because you mutilate my tongue
your beauty is lubricated juice lightning smeared on my brain
your haughty walk makes the faceless nameless part in shame
Your hair reminds me of Aztec idols
your eyes are like two diamond knives stabbing sunlight through my head
I suffocate you gently but strangle violently when you try to leave
then I release you so i can start it all again

Posted 7 Years Ago


Sounds to me like you need to brush off your nicest of wear, take an iron to those wrinkles, trim the face, hot wash is always best. If you smoke than brush your teeth and smile, if not do the same. And ask this girl for a drink and remind her in a subtle way of terms your intentions, your a romantic and I love to root for one.





Come on now, clap, clap, chop, chop, get your gear in order as if the Queen is ready to inspect your quarters.

Posted 7 Years Ago


I love the last two lines, so clever!

Posted 7 Years Ago


Lovely words and I enjoyed the perfect ending...SyberRose

Posted 7 Years Ago


like this bunches!

Posted 7 Years Ago


i like the last 3lines,good peom :)

Posted 7 Years Ago


Aw, this was so sweet and sad. You captured the emotion perfectly.

Posted 7 Years Ago


Pretty good. Nice write

Posted 7 Years Ago


I like the last two lines. Cool poem! :)

Posted 7 Years Ago



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Added on March 8, 2013
Last Updated on March 8, 2013

Author

Steven Ingels
Steven Ingels

Little Rock, AR



About
Let's see my name Is Steven Ingels. Writing is a time for me to let my creativity wander I'm 21 years old white male more..

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