Trust In Me

Trust In Me

A Chapter by Ivana~

The truth beneath the sugar coated lie is the answer.. 

Chapter 2 / Trust In Me

When I left for months...I was not thinking at all about how my leaving him, would effect him. I was still broken inside from the heart breaking past I once lived. When I left, I cried and cried my eyes out. It was stupid, and if it honestly hurt me so much to leave him, then why did I? I left for over 4 months. But It was a certain four months that I remember most. 

I remember the first month I tried so unbelievably hard to forget him. I did everything in my power, I quit the website I would talk to him on. I threw the password and username away, and I eventually forgot all about the sensually mysterious letter he hid behind. I remember talking to Adam privately one day about all of this that happened. Only Adam because I trusted him the most and I didn't want the rest of the band worrying to much. He told me how it was my fault for leaving, but if I felt I really should have then maybe I was saving myself ahead of time. I don't think I was saving myself...I was single-handedly destroying my self. We had a gig the following week, and I really sing with my emotions. They were all already worried and able to figure out the obvious. I was depressed. I allowed this to happen though, so why was I depressed, shouldn't I have been happy if it was what I wanted?

After that gig, nothing was the same. I couldn't sing properly, I couldn't do anything properly. I started to skip rehearsals, I started to forget how to play piano and more importantly I forgot how to sing. The band was arguing all the time. I was just bringing everyone down. I was more on edge. And I was more shaky. I told Adam to keep what happened between S and I a secret. But now, I think the band had a right to know. 

Ricky: Look.. If you don't tell us what's going on this band of ours is gonna fall apart. 
Eric: Yea, and none of us knows whats going on with you. You are our singer. We need you. 
Me: You are the singer too Eric. 
Eric: Yes but I don't have the ability to move ocean's like you do. You need to tell us whats bothering you so we can help you!
Jacob: We just wanna help you..You know you are like a big sister to us, even if we all are the same age.You helped us learn how to heal and move on.We each have something in our lives that killed us all emotionally, but we know how bad you've had it. And for years we have known you, but never really known you. Ya know?
Eric: I thought we did know her..but she refuses to tell us her problems. 
Me: My problem's don't matter guys.. 

That's when Eric did something that shocked everyone, even me. He wielded his hand back and gave me one hard slap to my face. I can still remember the heat of the red slap that stained my cheek. 

Eric: Doesn't matter?! This is more than just singing for some band. This is YOU! Just like Jacob said, you mean a lot. We are best friends... Aren't we? 

I looked up at Eric and the boys, and I knew they were right. I was killing off everyone who loved and cared for me. I told them everything. The whole story. 

Ricky: Are you f*****g stupid.. Do you realize what you've done. He said he'd THINK right? 
Eric: You really shouldn't rush a man .. 
Me: But I didn't.. rush him.. 

They all turned their heads to look at me intensely. Knowing damn well I did rush through. 

Jacob: W-wait wait wait...you said goodbye right?

I stayed silent and looked away. The tension was rising, my heart was beating, I was sweating and the giant ball in my throat was only getting bigger as I held my tears inside. The remembering of him only cause my love to want to grow. 

Jacob: YOU DIDN'T SAY GOODBYE?! Nope. You are going to march your a*s back to that chat room and say you are sorry for never saying goodbye. 
Eric: Maybe she should leave it as it is? It might just be worse to go back say you are sorry and then leave again..?
Jacob: It's better than nothing. That man must be worried about her.
Me: Worried.. 
Jacob: You said you and him were very close on a level we wouldn't be able to understand...if you got that close to him, then he must be worried about you. 

Adam and Ricky stayed quiet through the whole thing, Eric only cut in once or twice. But Jacob, seemed like this really hit home for him. I wonder what relationship problem's he's had in the past to be so passionate about this. Or maybe, he's just blunt. But it wasn't until I really started to think about it, Jacob's right. He did care about me. Maybe in his own little way, the way we acted was his way of saying "I love you too." or maybe..just maybe.. he did all along and was waiting for the right time. 

After this talk, they dragged me to my house and forced me to the website. After I looked at the screen I always had the "Remember Me" Box clicked, but now.. the password and username were't there and the box was unclicked. My heart beats increasing, I started to think what was the blasted username?! I just couldn't remember. I locked it away and threw away the key. 

Me: I ...I can't remember it.. 
Adam: Well she can always make a new one and go find him right? What did you say his name was?....T...or ...G or H...
Eric: There are only 26 letters in the Alphabet. I'm sure we can check through them all and she may remember. 

Before we could continue they were kicked out because of their curfew. I decided to then just go to sleep. Tear stained cheeks, and hoped to remember when I woke up. I thought if I could go to bed, then my nightmare would be over...but turns out...when I woke up the next day and realized I couldn't remember a thing... 

My nightmare was just beginning.. 


© 2014 Ivana~


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Great chapter. Please post an another chapter soon

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Ivana~

9 Years Ago

I shall be doing so very soon.
Another great chapter. Love the characters. Always helps to take experiences from your own life to make your characters appear more realistic.

Posted 10 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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Added on July 21, 2014
Last Updated on July 21, 2014


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Ivana~
Ivana~

About
~Welcome to my account. ~The flower who married my brother the traitor. The Princess of Fantasy. Simply Seventeen. ~~~~~~~~~~~Enjoy~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Enter the world of Dreams. more..

Writing
Goodbye. Goodbye.

A Poem by Ivana~