An Errand to live for

The season of love and heartache

With her loaded pouch strolled spring

Through country lanes and fields fancying

the scenery of yesteryears while chewing

on basil mint that made her breath, 

the wreath of garlands adorned her ronze hair

And her eyes kept all April to themselves.

She stopped by the pond and beheld in it

Multitudes of forms of life, easy on the eye.

Later sitting upon the grassland wearing white

Cotton over-blouse, now soggy, 

her brow twinkled. She removed from her hair

The jasmine stale and tossed it down gently

Then far she gazed into the empty space

Into the cluster of aspens until mirthless

Became every twig, Until Autumn began to fiddle. 

 

Author's Note

All I wanted to do was to simply depict and experiment on the sudden change in mood. Your comments and thoughts on this :)

Reviews

[barleygirl]

I do feel the way you have changed the mood in your poem. I think it's great to practice these kinds of things, as a writer. SHOWING instead of telling, a change of mood can be done in a subtle way, as you have done. The only thing that I did not follow smoothly was the timing. I felt we spent many lines on springtime, then suddenly it's fall . . . using the word "later" is not sufficient to show the passage of time. I feel this transition could be more gradual & drawn out. But your expressions of nature are gently-crafted with imagery for all the senses (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

[.]

Experiment is a success from my reading....

The change in mood is very evident; the strolling through Spring, taking in the beauty of the scenery, this changing in the second half of the poem with her gazing into the distance, throwing down the stale and staring on as Autumn fiddles restlessly on the horizon.

Some lovely words and imagery used in this poem, Suhd, creating a dreamy quality to match the changing of the seasons with the changing of her mood.

Very well conceived.

[Suhd]

Thanks a lot Doodley. Always good to read your thorough and warm reviews. Stay blessed!

[Zoya]

Wow, how wonderfully you've depicted the change of seasons here, and along with it, change in mood as you say in your note. Loved each line. Though the last two were the best!

[Suhd]

You're too kind, Zoe. Thanks a lot for your time and for this nice review!

[Zoya]

No worries :)

[Emma]

The gentle, flowing rhythm and detailed description of all the plants I've never even heard of is beautiful. It creates the relaxed mood of spring. I especially like the image of her 'cotton over-blouse, now soggy', I see the dew from the night creating a soft mist over everything and making the flowers glisten.
Definitely a change of mood at the end, but you do it so seamlessly with
'Into the cluster of aspens until mirthless
Became every twig'
As the transformation into the new season takes over. I love this line so much that it almost feels that the last statement defining it as autumn is unnecessary.
Well done. I very much enjoyed it all.

[Suhd]

Thank you so much Emma for your kind words. They mean so much :)

[Suhd]

And yeah you're right about the unnecessary line. I did that because I wanted to infuse into it much stronger emotion.

[Emma]

Your welcome and yes I see how the definite statement of autumn taking over adds a more sombre tone to the ending

[Joanna Matilda Barlow]

The mood changes are part of life. We all have mood swings. But this brought out that concept very well. Nice job. It's a simple but clear poem.

[Suhd]

Thank you so much Joanna :)

[Wajiha Nayeem]

Ah!
the words here were so elegant...
i mean when i was reading this poem...i was speechless....great work duh!
keep writing.

[EJ's Horror]

I love your descriptions of everything, it does paint a picture until 'Until autumn began to fiddle" I see you're trying to paint it happening but I might not much of a poet, the only expirience in that field was some cliche raps at school

[EJ's Horror]

'I'm not much of a poet" but I appreciate you giving me a read :D is what I meant to say

[Suhd]

Ah thank you so much, poetry is painting with words, so :) hahaha yeah sure I'll give your work a read.

[Ace St. Jean]

Nice! Clean, short and very sweet!

[LostBoy]

Dig the title. Breathless style..soft springlike. Roots of clean and real poetry. AUTHENTIC write. When I'm left thinking about it it's a good one man.

[Suhd]

Thanks much dude !

[LostBoy]

Anytime bro!

[Krutika]

This is my favorite theme.. Writing about seasons and the change they bring. I never tire reading about them.

Thats mainly because each writer is so unique how he expresses his perspective. You my friend did amazing job in conveying your view. And the personification brings out more of the beauty though it is about heartache. Very well written.

Above you mean 'bronze hair' right?

[Suhd]

Appreciate the kindness Krutika :) It's ronze. It suited with the theme.