Lies

Lies have driven her to the edge. If she can never be good, she'll just be nothing.

“I just want you to be happy.”
                     “You’ll make me proud one day.”
      “I believe in you.”
                      “You‘ll be okay, just pick yourself up.”
                         “I love you, darling.”

Lies.

All lies, she thought furiously. She had known this yet she’d still allowed herself to believe. How could she ever have been so stupid?

Since the day she’d been born, she was a disappointment. Her father acted as if she was always a mistake he was trying to right. She hadn’t been a son, but that didn’t mean she couldn’t be worked to the bone. As a result, her mother didn’t have a daughter to coddle and make her play pet.

When her parents had bore a second child, this time a son, she became even more of a resented thing. “Look at your brother,” they would say, “He’s so talented. What happened to you?”

Their high pitched laughs sickened her, and every night she would beat herself up for not being like him. He was perfect in their parents’ eyes.

Perfect grades, perfect attitude, perfect everything.

Yet she, their first born, was everything he was not.

Clumsy.
Opinionated.
Sarcastic.
Rude.
 
Real.

As the years had wore on, he got better and she faded more. Until the girl’s confidence and beauty and everything she’d ever been had become light enough to drift her to this overpass.

Many large trucks drove by here at night, swinging around the corner at high speeds. She felt a bit bad for involving one of them, but after all, she was just being who she had always been; an inconvenience.

To everyone except Mark, her godfather. When he came to visit he always asked about school, friends, her plans for the future. She never told him that she planned to die.  He didn’t even know the extent of the emotional abuse her parents and teachers had inflicted on her.

She stood here, all the lies running through her mind. A new string began to swirl through, making tears come fast and hard.

“You’re beautiful.”
       “You can be whoever you want to be.”
                    “You’ve done fantastic.”

No. She wasn’t, couldn’t, and hadn’t. Her family made sure she knew that every day and night.

The girl had grown up sure that what they said was fun and games, just people joking around at her expense. But those fun and games were just the truth wrapped up in softer blows. She’d come to realize this.

She was grateful her family had always given her the truth. It made it easier to take that

One

Little

Step.

Closer now, she smiled, because for once in her life, she was being convenient. As she took that one step over, dropping her into the path of what she knew as ‘convenience’, she whispered,

“I’m sorry.”

Lies.

Author's Note

I've been thinking about disappointment lately and this popped into my head. I'll probably rewrite it at a later date, seeing as it's not very good. Until then, my friends.

Reviews

[Sophie]

I absolutely adore the way it's written, just something about it is awesome.
And I know this is based off you, because I know you, and I'd like to tell you that a few of those 'lies' aren't lies at all.
But, taken as a story, it was wonderful, I loved it.

[Amanda]

I wasn't thinking of me when I wrote this, honestly. Or well, not mostly. I'm used to people's lies by now, that's not the part that inspired this :P

[Sophie]

okay then :P lol

[Poet's Soul]

This is unique. I find it to be a very orginal. PS

[afra]

i can relate to this poem in a lot of ways .....i loved it so much ...well done

[Amanda]

thank you