Unknown Light...

My hands do clap
For a pleasure unknown
I do work with all might
On thorns for a future unknown

Rapidity ravishly lavish is course
Of events, nothing but why is the word.
I do care with all my heart but
For what is always a question.

Days were good as a child
Nowadays it's all wild
But seems better in mild
Best is to come after black wild guild

I feel like a furnace but
I want to be a light
At least in my life

Reviews

[Anjali]

The ending is perfect... And the whole piece too.. I really liked it.

[Surya]

Thank you, Anjali...:))

[Anjali]

You're very welcome!

[dead letter office]

these lines caught my eye,

"Rapidity ravishly lavish is course"

"I feel like a furnace but
I want to be a light"

good write

peace and blessings

[Surya]

Thank you...:)

[heartspeaks]

The amazing thing is... It's not so poetic yet so poetic.... Great job

[Surya]

HAha, Thank you..:)

[heartspeaks]

Relatable.... Touching work... Keep it up

[Surya]

Thank you..::))

[barleygirl]

I saved this poem for later, since I got two read requests from you yesterday! *yippee!* I love when a writer has a love of vocabulary (which shows, for you!) And playing with the sounds of words, as much as the meaning: “Rapidity ravishly lavish” – that’s million-dollar wordplay! Your poem reminds me of how it feels to be old & disabled. Sometimes I get so tired of being in pain & the grouchiness that comes with constant all-over pain. I feel like a furnace but I want to be a light – that is a brilliant way of putting it. I love the way your mind flits thru unusual ideas! (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

[Surya]

Haha. Thank you so much for priceless words...::))

[Najam Us Saher]

I want to be a light. Creative line. Really liked it.

[Surya]

Am glad for it..Thank you, Saher....::)))

[Najam Us Saher]

You're welcome.

[Priyanshi]

Wooow.....Last two stanzas are very very beautiful....the first two stanzas are also good...
And you are a light friend.
:))

[Surya]

Hope so. Thank you so much Priyanshi...:))

[jacob erin-cilberto]

sometimes we spend all our energy being lights for others and forget to shine any on ourselves...
we push and help others to achieve...and yet we never figure out exactly what we care enough to go for.

j.

[Surya]

Thank you, J.

[wordman]

well john nailed it and i agree

[Surya]

Haha, I too.
Thank you, wordman...:))

[wordman]

you`re welcome

[Coyote Poetry]

Me too my friend.
"I feel like a furnace but
I want to be a light
At least in my life"
We need hope and energy to go forward. Thank you Surya for sharing the amazing poetry.
Coyote

[Surya]

We need it as breath. Thank you, John...:))

[Coyote Poetry]

I agree and you are welcome my friend.