Lost and Found

Thanks for the advice I will try to be better

Posted 13 Years Ago

Hey Desire, I read your story and it definitely has potential. I couldn’t stop chuckling on some parts and your descriptions were perfect. However, I have noticed several mistakes, nothing a little proof reading won’t fix. Here are some examples: ( He pressed his foot down on the as we sped out the school parking lot.) It should be: He pressed his foot down on the gas causing us to speed out of the parking lot. Or something like that :)

Another mistake: (I gazed was fixed on one that looked like he was really having fun with it) It should be: My gaze was fixed on one that looked as if he was having fun with it..

There were several others. Desire, my grammar is nowhere near perfect so I won’t be able to give you much advice on ways to improve. But I would advise you to read over your work a couple of times. Find something to do than come back and reread it. Also, make sure to skip a space after each period. Overall, great story. I’m glad I decided to read it!

Posted 13 Years Ago