Chapter 5: SilverA Chapter by SweetNutmeg Independent, capable Bonnie can take care of herself... until fate strikes and she must rely on others. Can Bonnie accept the help she needs? Can she find the key to freedom from her loneliness? Chapter Five Silver That night Bonnie has a dream, not her usual nightmare. She dreams about Pete. She is in his arms. They both emit streamers of shimmering silver light, and their streamers are intertwining. Her terrible longing is fulfilled in an indescribable beauty. She awakes in tears. In the darkness, she must admit she wants a chance at that beauty, she wants him, she wants to be fulfilled. When Pete comes for his morning check up, she feels shy, as if he had seen her dream too, and knew her deepest desires. She spends the day at war with herself. Every diversion she tries fails, she can't stop thinking about Pete. But it is more than just Pete. An angry part of herself wants to reject it all and defy the world, the world that says she needs someone. Guilt stalks her too, guilt that she could abandon her hurts and move on, and somehow invalidate the source of her pain, her father's death. But she's been lonely for so long. *** Pete knocks in the evening and is greeted by Bonnie in an apron. Something smells delicious. “I hope you're hungry, Pete. I'm making gumbo.” “Can I come in?” “Sure, have a drink, talk to me while I cook.” She pours him some of the rum Elaine gave her and invites him to sit at the kitchen table. “How did you get the ingredients for this?” “Elaine took me shopping. I need to walk around more. And I missed going myself. Not that I don't appreciate all the groceries you've brought for me. It's just nice to be able to look at stuff myself.” “Aren't you going to exhaust yourself?” “Yeah, but it'll be worth it. You've never had my gumbo.” All that remains is to remove the chicken meat from the bones. As it is falling apart, it doesn't take long. She breaks a long loaf of french bread and puts half in the oven to heat. Bonnie sips her soup without any fuss, but Pete is unaccustomed to the spicy heat. His sputtering and choking add merriment to the meal. “It gives you a spice high,” Pete says. “I used to get Jamaican jerk chicken at a place in Salt Lake, did the same thing.” They do seem unusually cheerful. Pete's Mormon stories bring Bonnie to actual pain; she laughs so hard it pulls her incision. They decide on a movie, Slacker, and choose to watch it downstairs at Pete's. Instead of taking her usual place in the arm chair, Bonnie sits on the love seat, next to Pete. Part way through the movie, she kicks off her shoes, resettles herself and with trepidation, tries putting her head on Pete's shoulder. He puts his arm around her and she nestles against his side. When he wakes her, she is quite disconcerted. That was not part of her plan. His large warm hand strokes her back as she sits up and rubs her eyes. “OK, sleeping beauty, time for bed.” “I'm sorry Pete. I'm not much of a date tonight.” He hesitates, asks, “Is that what this is, a date?” “If you want it to be, yes.” “That is what I have wanted right from the first time I saw you.” He kisses her softly, his hands sliding up her back and pulling her closer. It is as if she has never been kissed before, a new feeling without her hard inner shell pushing people away, holding them back. It is like her dream, silver shimmers twining them together. She strains to press against him, until an unhandy movement pulls her incision the wrong way. “Let's get you upstairs. You need sleep, sweetheart.” At the top of the stairs, Bonnie says “Don't go, Pete. Stay with me.” *** When Elaine hears Bonnie's news the next day, she can't resist crowing. “I told you he was a nice guy. I told you he was cute. I told you he liked you. Why on earth did you take so long to get to it?” Bonnie can't really account for that without revealing the inner workings of her deepest heart. Even if she wanted to explain, she wouldn't be able to. No one, not even Pete, could understand her dream of shining silver streamers. *** “Oh lord, they're coming.” Bonnie has just hung up the phone. “Who is coming?” Pete asks. “My parents. Jack and my mom.” After a sumptuous lunch at Galatoire’s, the whole group, Bonnie, her mother, Jack, Pete and Elaine, all take the river cruise from the aquarium in the French Quarter to the zoo uptown. It's touristy stuff, but being on the river is nice, despite the heat. The next day Pete is at work, so the three of them meet Elaine at Cafe Du Monde. Bonnie can't manage a stroll around the French Quarter, so they find a nice shady spot across the street in Jackson Square. Elaine takes some photos of them. When Bonnie's mother expresses a desire to visit the Cathedral, Bonnie is too exhausted to walk even that far. Jack stays with her on their bench. “I'm glad we're alone Jack. There's something I want to tell you.” Bonnie is tied up inside, but determined to get it out. “You can tell me anything, honey.” “I'm sorry, Jack. I'm sorry for being so cold and pushing you away and being so hostile.” “It's made me sad, Bonnie, but I understand.” “Do you? You've been so good to me and all I ever did was step on your feelings. I'm so sorry. It's just that I was afraid... afraid of forgetting my father, afraid of loving and losing another person in my life, afraid of any love at all.” “I know, sweetheart. It's hurt me that life was so hard for you. That's all. You lost your father so young. I wanted to help, but I knew I couldn't do anything but be there.” They see Elaine and her mother have left the Cathedral. They are at the fountain, Elaine taking more pictures. “I've always been glad you have Elaine.” “Me too.” “And this young man Pete... is he someone special? He's not like all your other fellows.” “Yes, he's special.” “All I've ever wanted was for you to be happy.” *** As Bonnie empties the night stand, she uncovers her walkman. Putting the other items in a box marked MISC, she opens the walkman, extracts the tape and holds it. Prince has been relegated to the back of this drawer for over a year now, untouched. She hasn't needed it to conjure a fantasy man or to solace her loneliness since her dream of silver streamers. After turning it over in her hands thoughtfully, she tosses it in the garbage can. She packs the last few items in the box, carries it to the living room and puts it on the pile of boxes ready to go downstairs to Pete's. No, it is not just Pete's apartment any more, it is her apartment too, now. "That's it for the kitchen," Pete says as he stacks one last box. He comes up behind her and hugs her close. Bonnie closes her eyes and relaxes into his embrace. His wandering hand finds the scar tissue from her appendectomy. "Just think, this is what started it all." Turning to face him, she gives him a long, deep kiss. "OK, OK, break it up, you two. You'll have plenty of time for that once Bonnie is moved in." Elaine flops on the couch, wiping her brow. "The sooner we get all of this downstairs, the sooner we get to Fast Taco and I get my margarita." © 2020 SweetNutmegFeatured Review
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SweetNutmegAboutI am returning all reviews of "The Past Follows." I am sorry to say I don't do poetry. At all. As in, never. Not even for you. more..Writing
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