Chapter 11 - Obscured Passage

Chapter 11 - Obscured Passage

A Chapter by Nataliya Maize

Keira is determined to seek out her mother, after discovering obscured entries in her mother's journal.



“Look at this entry!” Keira demanded, slamming her book upon the hard wood of the kitchen table. “There has to be something more to this, I just know it!” she instisted. An entire day had gone by since she’d read the noted scriptures of her mother’s journal. Her mind trying to wrap around their hidden meaning, as she questioned the previous messages she’d read from the days earlier. From dusk til dawn Keira placed her efforts towards decyphering their purpose. Studying each word several times over until she could come to some drawn conclusion or answer. Writing, one note after another upon a large piece of parchment paper before finally deciding to share her thoughts with the others. 


“These have to be clues.” she insisted. “She must have known I’d ask one of you. Why else would she have written these entries this way? Not one of the messages in this journal have been direct. Not one of them, written to address my name, or include hers either. Why? Why would she go through all the trouble avoiding to write someones name? Yet here, in this one particular passage are her intials. What was she afraid of, and why would she make sure to keep the journal hidden, until she knew I was able to read it? Thomas you must know something? If not you, then maybe Maedoc, I don’t know, but there has to be something more here!”  


“I agree.” Thomas replied. “Why would Callynndria go so far as to never mention her own name, nor that of anyone elses close to her? She was insistant upon me delivering this book to Keira. But The Dreamscape?” Thomas whispered in thought. “I’ve never heard of such a term used before, and those entries...”


“I most have passed through these pages a dozen times last night, and not one of them other than this particular passage, was initialed. There has to be something more behind these writings. I just feel like she’s trying to tell me something, but I don’t know what is it or why! It’s just that...” Keira voice drifted off in thought.


“That every single entry I’ve read so far has been like one subtle clue after another. Windows into her past, her thoughts, her memories, but always drawing attention to one specific point.”


“Attention to what?” Thomas asked.


“I’m not really sure... but I feel it. Like there’s some kind of connection here. I mean, why else would she bother to make sure this book got into the right hands for reasons other than sentimental? Why not a necklace or a family heirloom? Why of all things a book. A journal with nothing more then obscured passages and re-written scriptures? Passages... wait.” she spoke softly, as if remembering something. “Look at these other entries!” She flipped through the pages of the  book vigorously, pointing at various lines as she read them.


“I see him in my sleep; he speaks to me in whispers. Visions of a man, in and out they fade, followed only by a darkened sense.”


And then:


“Everything I’ve come to know and love -lost within moments. Like grains of sand, seeping through the folds of my ever gripping fingers...


And finally:


“Pieces of a crumbling puzzle, never again will it take shape of its former self. And still, I wonder -where do I begin to pick up the pieces of a broken past, and reshape anew...” 


“I think Callynndria was planning something. I think she knew something was coming for her, and she was preparing herself and leaving trails. But what it was, I don’t know.”


“The Book of Evo.” Maedoc mumbled, his tone low and steady. His tiny body leaning in thought over the metal poker he held in his hands, as he stood gazing upon the dancing flames of a burning fire. He expression appearing as if he hadn’t needed to hear a word of what was spoken. “The passages you read last night, the passages you spoke of earlier... are scriptures from The Ancient Book of Evo, the old texts.”


“The Book of Evo?” Keira questioned.


“You think there’s a connection Maedoc? The prophetic dreams and this dreamscape she speaks of?” Thomas questioned.


 “It’s possible.” The goblin replied.


 “Wait... what?” Keira asked confused, her eyes glancing back and forth between them.


 “It’s very possible indeed. You see...” Maedoc huffed as he hobbled over to the table to join them. “Before you were born Keira, our world was much different from the one it has become day. When the rulers of Dorith’thia were banished, and their Kingdoms destroyed, several of the biblical scriptures from before were burned along with them. Not many of the original texts survived.”


“Why would someone do such a thing? Why would they even care too, I mean didn’t they get what they wanted anyway?” Keira interrupted.


“It’s simple -control. That’s what they lusted for.” replied Thomas.


“You see the bureaucrats had somehow managed to convince the town’s people their faith had been falsely placed. That Evo... never existed, nor his angels, nor the demons. That our beliefs were based purely off the collabrations of corrupt leaders. A fear tactic really. A means to control the masses and conform them to their idealistic views of a utopian society. There were several blasphemies committed in those days, but none of them so bad as the burning of Evo’s word. And as I mentioned before, not many of the biblical scriptures survived, but of those that did, well... not much was left. Their pages were damaged, and nearly burned to a crisp. The ironic part in all of this is Dorith’thia truly was a peaceful community. But it was the very question itself that its people feared, and that they began to place their faith in. Allowed themselves to fall victim to deceit, and follow a path of destruction, formed out of the very creation of their own internal conflicts.”


“Still, Maedoc, there must be at least one remaining copy of the book remaining? Surely someone would have kept records of it, or at least attempted to rewrite the words of the original texts to restore them?”


“There is.” Maedoc replied.


“Where is it? Keira questioned.


“Unfortunately, there are no documents as to where it may be, nor any trace of its existence. Still, it is possible your mother may be trying to tell you something without directly saying what that something is. And it’s possible, that what you hold in your hand could very well be the last one and only surviving key left to discovering its whereabouts.”


“Keira, if that’s true...” Thomas interjected. “Then I assume that your mother’s urgency to hide the book with you, could only mean that she was afraid the book would be destoryed along with the others.”


“Even so, it still doesn’t explain her last mentions of this Dreamscape she speaks of.”


“No... it doesn’t.” Maedoc replied. “But I do recall a time when the leaders of our past made claim to visions. Dreams... so realistic and surreal, that it was as if like the very depicting of a painting. Similar to those of your dreams... your mother may have been one of those with that ability to do so as well. After all, she was one of the most powerful leaders of her time.”


“Keira.” Thomas interrupted. “Didn’t you say you had dreams... of a man?”     


“Just his voice, heard standing behind my mother.” she answered plainly, her eyes lost in thought, as she gazed upon the swirling patterns of the wooden floor beneath her. “That scripture Thomas... you don’t think that maybe that’s what she’s was trying to tell me? No... wait, it couldn’t be... but what if...” she whispered to herself.


“Maedoc, was there ever any mention of what became of my mother?”


“Sadly, no. No one knows what became of her.”


“Then what if...” Keira lifted her eyes towards him. “What if she’s not dead afterall. What if she’s alive... hiding and waiting to be found? You said it yourself that several of the elders went into hidding, why not her? What if that’s why she had to split me and my brother up? What if she’s the one sending me these dreams, messages to find her...?” 


“Keira!” Thomas interrupted.


“No really! It all makes sense! No one knows if she’s dead or alive! Then what if she’s not lost afterall! We have to find her!”


“Yes I know, but there’s no sense investing your hopes in the possiblity of assumtions right now!”


“Why not! You said it yourself, she was special, one of the few most powerful wielders of her time. Well what if that time isn’t over yet? It makes sense as to why the dreams are becoming stronger. Why recently since my arrival things have changed... my dreams are changing! It could even be the reason as to why we were attacked by the Slyph. What if, after all this time she wasn’t dead afterall?! If that’s the case, then we have to look for her, we have to find her!”


“Woo! Woo! Slow down! Keira even if your mother is alive, we can’t just up and leave on a hutch to find her!” said Thomas.


“Why not! We have to do something?”


“Keira, we have to think about this, there are several things at stake here. We can’t just up and leave on a suicide mission! We don't what could be out there!”


“And we can’t just sit around here either!” she shouted.


“Thomas is right Keira, we’d be no use to her dead.” replied Maedoc. “We can plan a search for your mother, but as much as it pains me to say it... there are larger things at stack here.”


“Like what?! No seems to want to tell me anything about what’s going on. What could possibly be more important than saving the Queen of the wielders?” 


“Do you forget child?! That you are the heir to her thrown?” Thomas declared. “Several years ago. I made a vow to your mother. A vow that I would do my damndest to keep her child alive. One of the last remaining heirs of her thrown. Now I will not have that vow torn apart, because of one mere rash made decision!” Thomas yelled.


“Is that understood?”


“Yes.” replied Keira.


“Your mother spent a life-time keeping you and your brother safe from harm’s reach. So that one day, if the worse to were happen, there would be a savior to this kingdom after all? Would you deny her the victory and satisfaction of her sacrifices for the several years she has had to endure her suffering?! Or are you quick to launch yourself upon the arrows of your enemies with rash decisions and empty assumations? Now, forgive me for my temper child... but there are more things at work here, things that you don’t yet fully understand. So do not think for one second that you are the only person who is willing to cross mountains to safe your mother. Callynndria meant more to her people then you will ever know, that I promise!”


“I’m sorry, I just...”


“No. There is no need for your apologizes, or explainations. It is obvious as to why you would want to save your mother. But remember... you can’t always allow your emotions to overcome you with urgencies. You must always, at all times... stay in control of them, especially as a wielder.”


“Then that’s it then... we will try and find her?”


“Yes.” Meadoc interjected. “When the time is right, we will look for your her. But it will take time, and much planning. And as for you Ms. Keira, it will take much trust and patience on your part. But I promise you, after all is said and done, if this is something you feel so strongly about, then I cannot deny you. We will try and find your mother.” And as Maedoc spoke these words, suddenly the cottage door came slamming open, as Rozlend came dashing through. His breath hard, his voice rasp, and his face stricken with a frozen panic.


“Come quickly! It’s Phillip!” he shouted as he raced back outside to meet him.

“What?!” The three spoke in unison. Keira, Thomas, and Maedoc rushed outside to see what was the matter. In the distance, Rozlend had already ran to Phillip’s assistance. Sweat, dripping down the young man’s face, his body looking as though ready to topple over. Rozlend threw Phillip’s arm across his shoulder, stripping the ranges from the grip of his hands.

On top the chocolate-colored lay a body, a man, dangling lifeless, over the mid of the horses back. As Rozlend pulled the ranges of the horse closer to Thomas and Maedoc, the shape of this mysterious figure become clear.



© Copyright 2008 Nataliya Maize. All rights reserved.

© 2009 Nataliya Maize

Author's Note

Nataliya Maize
2nd draft

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this was a great chapter! it was so well thought out and i have a feeling we need to remember things from this one for later chapters...if not thats cool 2 XP. lol I love how you write, you make me worried about things that dont even exist lol. i feel like im actually there. your characters all have there own personality and thats very hard to do. Great Job and i cant wait to read what comes next.

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 11 Years Ago

1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


I really enjoyed this piece for several reasons: 1. It listed things that will probably be more important later. 2. It's well though out and structured. and 3. I just enjoy fantasy books. I found no grammar or spelling errors, and to be honest there isn't any sort of criticism i can give. Well done.

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 11 Years Ago

1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

this was a great chapter! it was so well thought out and i have a feeling we need to remember things from this one for later chapters...if not thats cool 2 XP. lol I love how you write, you make me worried about things that dont even exist lol. i feel like im actually there. your characters all have there own personality and thats very hard to do. Great Job and i cant wait to read what comes next.

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 11 Years Ago

1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Fantay pieces are great because there is really are endless places for the story itself to go. That is also kinda of the downfall in the market for fantasy. You are out there competing with a massive amount of other writers often with equally pervasive story lines. So what makes me remember fantasy stories is two things: the writing and the characters. Sounds simple right? But what I mean by this is that with good fantasy, and really a lot of other writing genres, the story flows along in the backround and what tugs at us and brings us in is the reaction of the characters that we come to love, hate, adore, laugh at, and cry with to what is going on around them. Obviously Tolkien is the father of modern fanasy and almost lays down the rules for how fantasy worlds live and breath but notice that all the conflicts, suprises, and turn in his works are similar to those in many other fantasy pieces. Even Tolkien's ideas derive loosely from prose that goes back through the centuries and explores the very essence of good and evil. To be sure you should keep the story in mind but more so develop a realationship with your characters and you would be suprised how the story will write itself. As far a fantasy writers go check out Michael Moorcock's "Elric of Melinbone" Series. I suggest this for two reason. One is the writing has a very authentic fel to it. The words themsleves seem to share the tantered and ancient attributes of the land and people they are describing. I say this because if you ever go to a meuseum and study very old paintings on thing you will notice is that the age and authenticity permeates trhoughout the entire work, even the frame, method of binding, and smell of the old paint is a reflection of the age in which the artist created his masterpiece. Apply this to your piece, let the words ooze the ambience of the scenes, characters, and language. I know this can be hard with spoken passages but try some Shakespeare, Chaucer, and the like. Not for thepurposes of using the exact language but to just get a feel for the flow and evolution of the language. Now all this is not to say I don't like the piece, I think you have a good start here. Also the next time you are in a Barnes & Nobke or whatever browse through a couple writers that are popular and get a feel for their style. Even if yiu don't like them. For example compare Palahaniuk with Bukowski with King nd see what is different and what is similar. Hope this helps let me know if you have any other questions.

- C.M

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 11 Years Ago

0 of 1 people found this review constructive.

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3 Reviews
Added on June 24, 2009
Last Updated on October 26, 2009
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Nataliya Maize
Nataliya Maize

Moreno Valley, CA

- When we were young, and life was different - Check out my websites: My Twitter: A.N.A. Twitter: more..


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