Chapter Two "Eventually you will come to understand that love heals everything" (Zukav)

The second chapter. But just a note for future chapters, look at the dates its gonna start flipping from the present to the past Dawns ©

United Nations Head Office, New York, United States of America, 9:45am, May 11^th 2036

After I had rested for a few moments I opened my eyes and whispered to Rielle. “Babe how did I do up there?” I asked this knowing I could still hear the chanting in the background even though we where back stage.

She then pulled her head off of my chest and looked at me with her beautiful golden green eyes and said;“You did okay for something you did on the fly.” She paused for a moment and smiled at me. “But I could have done much better myself.”. She began to giggle “But in all honestly it was really well done, but Dante.”

“Yes?”

“Do you really believe in what you said up there?”

“Of course I do. Why wouldn't I?”

“I don't know- its just you have been through a lot and yet you still haven't given up like so many people before you.”

“You know I'm weird and take what happened to us in the wasteland and simply used it to make myself stronger.” I then noticed the look of concern that enveloped her face.

“I know you did and so did I but-”

“But what?”

“You know I worry Hun”

“I know you do, that has never changed. It was the same before the war.”

Riel blushed. “Somethings will never change.

“I know.” Then I pulled her in closer and kissed her “Its amazing how how much we have been through with each other.”

Rielle smiled “Yes, yes we have”.

Author's Note

I know its kinda choppy

Reviews

[Y.]

To me, I think it does two things, one which I like, the other, not so much:
a) It sort of detracts from the problem presented, and due to the lack of length of the 1st chapter, chances are, readers are going to want to see what happens next. Now. Or at least see what had happened before.
this leads on to:
b) It brings tension to the reader, makes us want to read further in. It creates a sufficient barrier - time for things to sink in etc.

That said, I wouldn't dedicate an entire chapter to this.
Unless, you've structured your chapters in such a way...

[ChloeKirk]

I don't think that in this point in time our hero would be concerned about how he sounded up there. Maybe one line or so would be good, but if it's such a horrible situation maybe they should talk more about the war or something.

[Luna Northstar]

Another good chapter, PLEASE keep me updated, I want to see what happens next.

[Political Punk ~~ CBD]

its not to choppy, but the dialog was natural, and I didn't find any grammar mistakes (not that I was looking to hard)

very well done, can't wait to see more of it.