Day After Day

Sitting here, Day after day
Feeling like i'm rotting away
Wanting to go
But I seem to stay
I'm frustrated
I talk but you never hear
There's hurt in my voice
Never any cheer
You tear me down
But never pick me up
And you act like nothings wrong
All the while I fight to stay strong
I'm tired of playing this game
Sometimes I just want to open up and take aim
But why
It will always be the same
And it's true to say
That day after day
I still feel like I'm rotting away

Reviews

[Natasha]

i think you have a concept down- but i think you only delved to the surface level of emotion- i didn't feel the emotion in the poem really- maybe some more strong verbs or action words may help

[Aurora Dawn]

Thankyou!:)
I will try to find some better words to describe emotion.

[Natasha]

:) good luck! glad you took criticism well!

[Aurora Dawn]

Critisism is what I was looking for, I'm thankful you cared enough to give me tips on how to improve my writing!