Prologue

Prologue

A Chapter by TKBickel

Prologue

 

"Quiet woman! Do not push me any further or you will regret it!" Sarrsus paced circles around an old woman sitting cross-legged on the dirt floor.

           

Her palms rested lightly on her knees. Every muscle relaxed and refused to be intimidated. Her insight psychic ability let the words flow through her. "Yes, regret…You have buried it so far down…You have forgotten...where you come from, who you are."

           

Sarrsus’ ice blue eyes flared as a primitive roar ripped from his throat and bounced off the musty rock walls around them. An invisible energy wall hit the woman and threw her across the open space, impacting her against the stone wall. Her head throbbed as she struggled to return the air purged forcefully from her lungs. Sarrsus charged towards her. “Woman, you value your life lightly!"

           

The woman looked up to the flustered face hovering over her, trying to imply dominancy. She remained calm. Wiping away a trickle of blood from her nose, she smiled warmly at him. “Please, I told you…call me Castella."

           

Sarrsus' teeth clenched as his fist hit the wall. Shards of stone rain down on Castella. "Samantha values your life and for that I will let you live but if you continue to irritate me...I might change my mind."

           

"I'm sorry to...irritate you. I shall remain quiet if you would please answer one question."

           

He huffed a flustered sigh. "What is it?"

           

"Do you remember the youth of your life?"

           

The vivid ice blue eyes now squinted at her. A low growl resonated in his throat as he turned on his heels and stomped away.

           

Under her breath, Castella muttered. “That’s what I thought...a lost soul but not a lost cause...yet. There is still hope for the future."



© 2012 TKBickel


Author's Note

TKBickel
Following 'A Hunters Evolution' from the 'Forever Hunting Series'

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Reviews

Why haven't written more? This is awesome. I can't wait for you to add more so do it already.

Posted 8 Years Ago


TKBickel

8 Years Ago

*Poof* and a genie grants a wish.
.quan.011.

8 Years Ago

Go review the first chapter of Imperfect Victims
Come on! Only a little bit! I must be informed as soon as more chapters are added! This is just too good to miss out on! I love bad guys!

Posted 8 Years Ago


Oh prologues! Most people skim over them but I am a huge fan of prologues... Most of my stories have them (though only one is posted so far, haha).

-cough- anyway, I really like your character Castella and her foreboding talent of psychic ability. Youi can really sense her character through the dialogue- in the way she speaks. Your second character however seems a bit, I don't know, awkwardy written. I couldn't take his anger seriously for some reason. Maybe because of your diction use for instance "stomped" is a childish action therefore I related him to being a childish character hense forth I couldn't take him seriously.

You have a few minor errors concerning tense and spelling as well as use of repetitive diction. Tense wise you switch between active voice and passive with no transition. You have what I can only assume to be a few typos such as "stopping" int he first line. And well back to stomping I guess- you use it more than once in paragraphs too close together as well as "growl". These words can come across as repetitive when placed so closely together so you might want to try using a thesaurus.

Over all it was a very nice read and I hope to see some chapters!

Posted 8 Years Ago


TKBickel

8 Years Ago

Thank you for your comments. I can’t change problem areas if I don’t know about them. I am a hor.. read more
Madelyn Defray

8 Years Ago

Alright so in the second paragraph first line you speak of her palms in an active voice but througho.. read more
TKBickel

8 Years Ago

To me that’s no offending that is helping. Thanks for being precise. Hopefully, I have that fixed .. read more
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EMF
You are going to cost me a fortune by the time this series is finished. Yep. Already here and waiting for the next morsel

Posted 8 Years Ago


That's it? Just a small nibble. You bet I will be back.

Posted 8 Years Ago


EMF

8 Years Ago

That's it. Got em hooked. And how good a ride it is.
Shep

8 Years Ago

Still no new chapters.
TKBickel

8 Years Ago

Hang in there-I'm writting. It's just in a mess right now.

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524 Views
5 Reviews
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Added on July 3, 2012
Last Updated on July 7, 2012
Tags: paranormal romance, romance, occult, fantasy, supernatural, urban fantasy, vampires, demons, love, lost souls, A Hunters Evolution, Forever Hunting Series


Author

TKBickel
TKBickel

KC, MO



About
I am a bookworm that happens to love writing. Now I finally have the time to write a story that's been clawing its way out of my brain. God help me before my brain explodes. -The Forever Hunting Se.. more..

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