Butterfly

Ever been the Fly?

You’ve been changing

And so have I

We used to be bosom buddies;

Fast friends

But now you’ve changed

And you don’t know my name.

 

Remember when we used to hang out

Back when you were a maggot

Down in the rotten pith

Of that old tree in the garden?

Life was good back then

We’d play everyday

Life was so easy-

Haukuwa na pupa

Till you crept into that pupa

Now you don’t know my name.

 

Now you only consort

With roses and daisies

With lilies and poppies

’Cause you’re a beautiful butterfly

And I’m nothing but a fly

That you used to know back then-

Such a long time ago

That you don’t remember my name.

 

Hey, pretty butterfly…

Your wings are a canvas

Of delicate, intricate colour

Worked by a master painter-

You flit on the wind

With unmatched grace-

D’you remember me, an old friend,

From the tree in the garden?

Do  you? 

You stopped in your way

And looked at me bemusedly-

Just a fly, buzzing around-

With a graceful flap of your wing

You asked,

Without batting an antennae,

“Excuse me,

But do I know you from somewhere?”

 

 

Author's Note

opinions,please.

Reviews

[WordsAndVoices]

This is amazing writing. I love the similes, the whole poem is practically a simile!The fly is left alone when the butterfly goes off to do bigger, better things. I liked it when you ended each verse with a different version of saying 'now you don't know my name.' But you stopped doing that near the end. Also in the fourth verse, you didn't need so many dashes, it took away from the reading a bit. There's, grammatically,not much wrong with this piece, but the flow could be worked on slightly... keep up the writing!

[aviiar:))]

nice poem..i like it!that butterfly don´t deserve to be a butterfly anymore.. :)
good work.love it!

[M.Babu]

Without batting an antennae,

“Excuse me, But do I know you from somewhere?”

Classic! I'm not exactly a master critic but my take on this poem is that's it's vivid, clear and sentimental. I actually felt for the poor fly (but just a bit) as it saw the butterfly grow and secede from the garden tree. Awesome read as always

[Vitcky Walker]

Now you only consort.....

And
hey pretty butterfly....

Like those Two parts :)
aa disappointment to smebody who used to be frien,then like go away and pretending to not knowing you...
Love it

[Angie Diane♥&hea..]

This was a very interesting write. I liked the imagery to the poem and the flow of it. It was a nice write as well as interesting. I love butterflies too they are pretty. Thanks for sharing. :)

[Alicia Schroeder]

This is a very differant and unique peice, I really like how it expressess how things change, including insects.. Good one..

[Dinesh Sairam]

The end could have been

“Excuse me,
But do I know your name?” (Refrain effect).

And I think the fourth stanza has little to do with the subject. Maybe you can edit it. (Or perhaps a personal thing?). I pretty much think you can put the butterfly concept in the last stanza's beginning.

I'm glad for your vocabulary, and good usage of words. I enjoyed the poem, but would've done more so, if it was in rhythm and rhyme. At least in rhyme.

Keep writing.

[Christy Sargent]

Yes, I see the human plot in this piece. It happens! I really enjoyed this well written poem. "Now you only consort with roses and daisies, with lilies and poppies," I like this line and this imagery. Very nice. Thank you. It is clear that you know what you are doing here. Christy

[HoorayForUnderdog]

I enjoyed this one a lot -- because of the personification you used -- I find it funny to think of insects hanging out and getting ticked off at one another and being divas -- and because your poem could also be symbolic of the relationship problems that young people often encounter as they are growing up. Very creative!

[Hello, Goodbye]

I've had a relationship similar to this, i can relate.. you wrote this with creativity and imagination and its a delightful read..

[Coyote Poetry]

I like how you used the butterfly in this poem. Your language skill is amazing. People think they can change. You can take the rat out of the city. Dress him up. In the end the rat will know what it learn when it was a rat. Not a butterfly. I like the ending. This is a excellent poem. Thank you.
Coyote