SONG of the BIRDS

SONG of the BIRDS

A Poem by ROXANE DORSEY
"

BIRDS MUSIC

"
Oh sweet melody to my lonesome ear.
A whistle here, a whistle there.
Intertwined in rich romantic harmony.
Fine feathered friends, fly, fly away
into sunset's horizon.  Let me see your
silhouette out shine my blues.
The fullness of the moon's sign, lights
up my eerie soul.
The sweet richness of a song bird, oh
how you cultivate my newness away
from pure darkness.  
The evil slayer.
Lurking among'st thin air.  To snatch
what's there.
Oh sweet melodies to my friendless ear.
Please plant your birdbrain body in a
p***y willow's tree.  Bring my soulmate.
Make it easy for love to see a poet like me.

© 2017 ROXANE DORSEY


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Featured Review

'The sweet richness of a song bird, oh
how you cultivate my newness away
from pure darkness. '

A flow of emotions wrapped in near timeless language. For me, old English fits romantic offerings very well. Even with care, there are slips from rule but..that can be invigorating. There's passion drifting slowly towards the shore by way of those finishing lines.. ..

Slightly amended my review, think i wasn't thinking when i left it.. forgive. x

Posted 6 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

ROXANE DORSEY

6 Years Ago

Thanks E for the kind review and read.



Reviews

A beautiful poem shared dear Roxane. I loved the places and the thoughts shared. Sound of the birds. A morning blessing. Thank you for sharing the amazing poetry.
Coyote

Posted 5 Years Ago


little bird,little bird call my name,
send my love to that willow tree,as she sits in it`s shade thinking of me

Posted 6 Years Ago


ROXANE DORSEY

6 Years Ago

thanks wordman for the kind review and read.
 wordman

6 Years Ago

my pleasure
'The sweet richness of a song bird, oh
how you cultivate my newness away
from pure darkness. '

A flow of emotions wrapped in near timeless language. For me, old English fits romantic offerings very well. Even with care, there are slips from rule but..that can be invigorating. There's passion drifting slowly towards the shore by way of those finishing lines.. ..

Slightly amended my review, think i wasn't thinking when i left it.. forgive. x

Posted 6 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

ROXANE DORSEY

6 Years Ago

Thanks E for the kind review and read.
This offering offers a lot of rich imagery. Not only the birds and their songs appear, but also sunset and the moon's sign, adding to the poem's emotional color. They heighten the contrast between themselves and the speaker's inner feelings, which are described in darker hues. There seems to be some type of depression lurking, possibly due to the lack of a desired relationship. The blues are mentioned, and these words might indeed make a good blues song. Nicely done, however I would like to second the previous reviewer's opinion about the use of "thee." In early modern English, thee is used as an object, as opposed to thou, which is a subject. If you do decide to make this change, you will also need to drop the s from cultivates.

Posted 6 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Hi Roxane,

This is beautiful. I will admit outright that poetry is not my forte. However, the natural theme in the poem as well as the longing tone remind me of Emily Dickinson. Your prose is excellent, and I love the feeling you evoke from me.

Now, this may be where my ignorance of poetry comes into play, but the line, "how thee cultivates my newness away" is strange to me. Thee doesn't seem to be the proper pronoun, and cultivates doesn't agree with the subject.

If I'm missing something, could you please explain? I would really love to understand poetry better, and you obviously have an excellent grasp of the medium. Thank you so much. :)

Posted 6 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

ROXANE DORSEY

6 Years Ago

Thanks for the wonderful review. Sorry I took long responding to your nice comment. I hate better l.. read more

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Added on August 8, 2017
Last Updated on August 9, 2017

Author

ROXANE DORSEY
ROXANE DORSEY

baltimore, MD



About
love poetry since it has been embedded in my mind deeply way back when I was 4 years old. A very good reader in pre-school. Nursery rhymes tuned me in even deeper. more..

Writing
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