Chapter one : Real or Fiction?

I am confused, I have no idea where I am or what time it is. I try looking around but my vision is blurry, the only thing I can make out are large dark shapes up ahead.  As I try to squint out the blurriness and get a proper understanding of where I am, I use my hearing as a guide.

Honking and yelling

 Must be somewhere near a busy road. Wait, honking, cars, highway?  This can't be home

Finally my vision got clearer, and so did the mental picture in my head.

Its night

I thought as I looked up at the dark sky dotted with bright stars, the light of the moon illuminating various shops scattered along streets lighted by tall street lights.

Its downtown

I thought as a mischievous smile spread across my face.

No way

I'm not the kind of kid who lives in a big city, no; I live in a small boring totally ordinary suburban neighborhood smack in the middle of USA.

 So, I don't get the chance to visit other places much, that's why downtown is one of my favorite places.

I have been here more times than I can count, but still I can't get over the excitement of being here, which I'm experiencing right now.

Wow, the place looks so different at night

I thought as I looked around with a dreamy gaze spread across my face, my parents would kill me if they found out I was here, not to mention at night.

This is awesome!

I thought as I walked along the street, a few people passing by giving worried glances in my direction, probably thinking what is a kid like me doing here so late with no parents in sight. Ignoring them I looked around the various shops, stopping in front of one which looked familier,remembering bits and pieces of good memories.

All of a sudden the street became busy, busting with people coming in all directions. Before I had the chance to react I got knocked aside a few times and got a few grumpy threatens to step aside.

Yeah, that's downtown alright

I decided I didn't want to take a risk of getting run over so I began walking aimlessly, looking for a less busy part of the street.

As I made my way through I felt a cold breeze brush against my face sending a chill through me, so I pulled the cuffs of my jacket over my hands. I instinctively rummaged around the left pocket, looking for my mp3 player.

Found it

I made my way  to a less busy section of the street and suddenly I stopped dead in my tracks.

I remember this place

I thought, as I looked through the murky glass window of an old looking library, barely making out the dusty wooden floor, the antique furniture, and books. Piles and piles of books stacked on top of shelves that reached almost all the way to the ceiling.

I wanted to come inside, but suddenly I caught a reflection of a weird dark shadow through the glass.

What in the world…..

I thought as the weird shadow passed right by and made its way through the street. A sudden urge built inside me.

I have to follow it and found out what it is

I started walking in its direction, as if noticing me it increased it's speed, I quickened mine. It increased its speed again, I started a light jog. Suddenly I found myself in the busy street again, the shadow simply going through people, making its way through the crowd.

I started to run ignoring people's shouts and complaints and I pushed them aside, trying to catch up with the shadow, which was very persistent in not getting captured.

Suddenly I ended up in an abandoned alleyway looking around frantically for the masteries shadow. I walked deeper into the alleyway   , trash bins and garbage scattered around, suddenly I caught sight of it.

There you are

I thought, as I ended up at the end of the alleyway, the shadow just floating a foot away from me. I just took one step before it smacked itself into the wall, startled I looked at its flat shape, becoming bigger and bigger.

What did I get myself into?

I thought as I scrambled away hurriedly away from the wall, retracing my steps, but catching a few glances back, looking as the shadow was coming at me, stretching out huge claw like hands at me, I ran as fast as I could. So fast that I crossed the street and ended in the middle of the road, a busy road filled with passing cars.

My eyes widened with shock.

I have to get out of here

I screamed inside my head, but my body wouldn’t listen, my legs were locked dead on the asphalt.

A bus was rapidly approaching, I gasped. Before the driver could respond he was heading dead at me.

30 feet

20

I screamed, trying to will my legs to move, nothing.

I closed my eyes, crying.

10

And then…..

NOOO!

I screamed as I opened my eyes, realizing I was tangling more and more inside the blanket with every movement I was made.

Ahhh!

I growled in frustration trying to get out. Finally I managed to coax my head out, breathing heavily from struggling; the dream was still fresh in my mind.

"Oh my god that was a hell of a dream, more like a nightmare" I murmured to myself as I sat in bad, flustered and weak, but fully awake. As my breathing got even I looked around.

Everything looked in its usual disarray, piles of papers with sketches on them were scattered around the wooden floor, including a few comic books and some dirty cloths.

I closed my eyes, giving out a huge sigh of relief, happy that the nightmare was over.

 I would never wish this experience on my worst enemy, wait, scratch that last part, of course I would.

I rummaged inside the blanket and found my flashlight and my favorite horror book.

No more horror stories for you before bed, I thought to myself as I placed the book on the cabinet next to my bed, catching a glance at the clock.

Wait, what time is it?!

8:15?!

Oh, no, no, no!

I started complaining in frustration as I clumsily got out of bed, nearly tripping over as the blanket tanged at one of my feet, running towards my dresser.

No way am I going to be late for school again, mom would kill me!

I thought panickly as I threw out shirt after shirt, looking for something clean to wear

Finally!

I got dressed as quickly as I could and ran to the bathroom to wash my face, got out, grabbed my backpack and stormed out of the room, shutting the door behind me with a loud bang.

Morning!

I yelled as I practically slided down the stairs, running towards the kitchen.

Morning sweetie", my mom said while standing near the stove making eggs."

Are you not going to be late for school?"  She asked with concern."

"Nope", I said confidently as I rummaged through the fridge, took out the orange juice and drank it straight from the carton.

"Randy honey what about some real breakfast?", my mom asked in concern pointing at the eggs she was cooking.

No can do mom, can't be late remember?""

I told her as I heard the toaster popping a few fresh toasts out, I grabbed one with the edge of my fingers.

"Ouch, hot hot"

I complained as I blew on it, gave my mom a kiss, put the toast in my mouth and ran out the door.

Right when I came out I saw the school bus driving right by, I nearly dropped my toast.

"Great" I said in exasperation," What a great way to start the day."

I dropped my arms in frustration.

I guess I'm riding my bike to school than.

I went to the garage, opened the tinted door and fetched out my bicycle, mounted on them and got on my way to school.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Reviews

[Dawns]

When I was reading this I was intrigued right from the very beginning with the whole thoughts being added into the story to show what the character is thinking. But on that same note that style is better executed when they flow naturally, because at times they almost seemed tagged on rather than a normal reaction from the character. It it most likely from the format of the story. For an example:
"Finally my vision got clearer, and so did the mental picture in my head.

Its night

I thought as I looked up at the dark sky dotted with bright stars, the light of the moon illuminating various shops scattered along streets lighted by tall street lights.

Its downtown."
When I read that passage it felt slightly robotic with the "Its Night" and "Its Downtown" not only because they where separated by what appeared to be completely new paragraphs, but because it seemed like an unnatural response for someone who just appeared in a completely new setting.
A suggestion I can make to help you fix this, is to put more emotion into the characters thoughts. So instead of "Its night" you could put something as simple as "It must be night because I can see the stars, and the streetlights are on" (Even though I do admit that suggestion is sloppy but it is just an idea =P). But next to some dialogue that sounded slightly unnatural I really liked the suspense you developed right at the end of the chapter with the simple phrase "And then...." This makes a great stopping point for this chapter because it keeps the reader intrigued, as well as makes them want to continue reading.
As I said great chapter and I can`t wait to see what happens next =P.

p.s. One of the rules my teacher told me to follow when writing dialogue was to warm up by writing a short little blurb on a separate piece of paper, in which you are talking to the character. If you want I can send you an example, where I was warming up to write a chapter xD.

p.p.s Another thing my teacher told me (Sorry I was to lazy to go back and find where this would fit nicely into the little blurb...) Tell it, don`t write it. So when your character notices it is night time, show it through their eyes rather then explaining it to the reader, Unless you are doing a third person omniscient narrator which I don`t think you are.

p.p.p.s I like your story xD (Sorry now I`m just bored. But really I like your story so far =P, and I can`t wait to see what happens next.

[Ian Faraway]

By the way, add more shadow figure cause I want to know what it is!

[Ian Faraway]

Loved this chapter....is this a sequel book, or are you redoing the other one? Of course, I'm wondering how downtown at night will become part of the story. I hope to read more :) And keep up the good writes, Tali!