My Serenity

My first Tanka poem. The beautiful photo was taken by the very talented Ken Simm -- thanks, Ken! http://www.redbubble.com/people/kenart/art/797548-1-solitude

My serenity:

twilight walk, deserted beach,

troubled thoughts adrift;

all worries are left behind

with my footprints in the sand.

 

Author's Note

This is my first Tanka poem, and from what I've read, with the Tanka form of poetry, the syllable count should be: 5/7/5/7/7 and should be about nature, the seasons, and/or strong emotion.

Reviews

[Captain Blackheart (The..]

A wonderful Tanka, never tried one before but then I get stuck on the count thing.lol
A great piece Tania, the thought of leaving your troubles behind like footprints in the sand.

[Candle in the wind]

This is amazing-- leaving your worries behind like footprints on the sand.Thanks for showing me what a Tanka is maybe I could try it some day

[None]

There's nothing like the beach, especially at twilight to ease our minds and free us of our troubles. Something about the sand on our bare feet and the process can rejuvenate our soul. Going down to the water to put a foot in to test how cold it is, and sinking deep into the sand in the process can really do what you said here so beautifully...
"all worries are left behind
with my footprints in the sand."
This is very peaceful and soothing, an exceptional poem, Tania!

[Rhiannon Dragonraine]

Well I don't know much of this form of poetry though from your explanation you kept to the form very well- I do like the imagery and the peaceful undertone of the writing though it does seem as if there is trouble brewing just under the surface with this one- don't really know why i picked that up just seems as if it is there. I think this is a great peice and very much describes what most consider a serene setting- I can't really say as i have never been to a beach hopefully one day though- I know writing like this makes me want to experience it more and more. Good Work!

[Wolfwind Words]

This was beautiful! It reminded me of the poem "Footprints in the Sand" where God lifts us and carries us when we are down. Such refreshing vibes from your words! :)
Great Write!

[Chiquita]

I like the short but clear message here. The image is very clear. I can see your footprints. I can smell the ocean. I can feel the sand between my toes. I can feel my troubles drift away.

Thanks for the lesson in Tanka. I may try it.

[Ice Queen of the Vampir..]

Wow, this is fabulous and wonderfully written. Great job on your first Tanka!!!

Heather

[Casablanca]

Such a jewelled charm in your poetic bracelet. It sparkles and shimmers with each reading and the picture is such a wonderful compliment to the work.

And I'm so sorry...I wish you and your family comfort in this time of loss.

[An owl on the moon]

I love profound simplicity! The beauty of such a place, a place to leave your troubles behind is so appealing. In moments you've moved my mind into quietness... Beautiful!

[Robert Luna]

Really enjoyed this. It was flowing like a breeze itself as the words floated among my own thoughts and took me to a place inside myself remembering the beach and watching the ocean as kid for hours. Thank you for that.



Well DOne!!!!!

[Jane Doe]

Simple, beautiful and timeless. I felt myself becoming more serene just reading it. Great job!