I saw a dream !!!

I saw a dream !!!

A Poem by Taniska 😊😊

I saw a dream
Of a girl
Staring at me.
And her face was so dull

Her heavy eyes.
Were full of tears
But still she smiled at me.
With no fear.

I have never
Met her before.
But still I felt that.
I know her very close.

Her witty hands ,
Seems  calling me
To lighten
her life.

I went close .
To see her face .
But she ran away
As she was running in a race.


I chased her,
Till she stops
And atlast , she stopped.
At a unknown spot.

That's a place .
I haven't visit before .
But she told me that.
It is my only home.

That's a place
Surrounded with different colours.
A flappy cloud was floating.
Around me.


I asked her
To show her face.
And what I found
You can't guess.

It's me
She told me that .
She was a reflection .
Of my lonely thought.

And she was here
To took me with her
And will stay with me
Forever and ever.

I woke up suddenly,
And realize that's a dream,
But why I feel like,
She still calling me...

© 2019 Taniska 😊😊


Author's Note

Taniska  😊😊
If you like it then share your feelings !!! 😊😊😊

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Reviews

i knew it was you after the second stanza,we all share that dream i suppose

Posted 6 Months Ago


Taniska  😊😊

6 Months Ago

Okk fine ron sir !!
 wordman

6 Months Ago

got you mixed up with one of my friends with a close name but i`m glad i read your poem
Taniska  😊😊

6 Months Ago

😊😊😊😊😊😊😊
I thought she was priyanka gandhi.

Posted 6 Months Ago


Taniska  😊😊

6 Months Ago

And why you thought this ???
I like to read something fresh & new, especially from a young person, that uses the old standard archetypes that were used in telling many old stories of many cultures. When one dreams of looking into a mirror -- this has been a time-honored symbol of getting to know the unknown parts of oneself, which you describe here with a delicious sense of exploration. Once again, I can't believe how mature your meaning is, even tho you deliver your message in a playful unhurried way, as a younger person might. As Margie F mentions, there are problems with your grammar, but since English is your second language, I admire you for doing as well as you do, to express yourself in English (it's a weird language) *smile* Fondly, Margie

Posted 6 Months Ago


Taniska  😊😊

6 Months Ago

Thanx mam I will try to correct my grammatical errors . But still thanx for visiting my page and fo.. read more
Hi Taniska,

First of all, let me say beautiful poem. To be 15, you show potential for writing. I started writing when I was 15, so if you don't mind, I would like to give you some pointers. I wish someone had been around when I was 15 to help me. So this is all being offered as advice. You do whatever it is that you were trying to do. If you'd like some pointers or want to talk about what you want to say, feel free to message me. My only comment to help you would be to work on proper verb tense. That will improve more as you write more, but sometimes, it's easier to see if someone gives you an example. So for example, in this poem, you're telling us what happened in a dream, which is past tense...You start out with "saw" which is past tense, but then you say "smiling" which is present tense, instead of "smiled" past tense. Now with poetry and creative writing in general, we break rules, so if this is something you did intentionally, then try to make it more obvious that it is supposed to be intentional; otherwise, it reads like it is an error. Stanza 5 line 3, I think you meant "she" instead of "see." Same stanza, last part of the 4th line, "what's the mess" I personally didn't understand that part, so again, if it was intentional, work on making it more obvious what you're trying to say. It may just be a different English word needed.

Again, beautiful poem with a ending that leaves some mystery. I like it!

Posted 6 Months Ago


Taniska  😊😊

6 Months Ago

Thanx mam for visiting my page and for giving such advices . I will try to recheck my mistakes mam .. read more
Macy F

6 Months Ago

Awesome!! Great job! It flows much easier now. Keep it up. I am looking forward to seeing more from .. read more
Taniska  😊😊

6 Months Ago

Thanx mam I glad you like it !!! (Smiles) 😊😊

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Added on March 29, 2019
Last Updated on March 30, 2019

Author

Taniska  😊😊
Taniska 😊😊

Cuttack, Odisha, India



About
I am a girl of 15 and I am here to share my writings with you and also to accept your good suggestion. 😊 Keep smiling 😄😃🤣😆😉😊😀😁.. more..

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