A Breath of Fresh Air

A Breath of Fresh Air

A Poem by Taylor Williams
"

The irony is that he died as he began making changes to his life. Deciding to quit cigarettes is a very big step for a smoker and is usually the beginning of an overall bettering of life. denied

"
walking, nonchalant, on the side of the street
lighting a cigarette, i inhale, in defeat
why? why do i erode my lungs
for this temporary relief?
relief from what?
walking with those that breathe?
standing among those living beings?
self reminder, do not hate them
you made your own mistakes, do not blame them
for living the life of good men's ways
for not throwing, everything away

walking, nonchalant, on the side of the street
dropping the cigarette, extinguished it with my feet
i take a breath, deciding that cig was my last
with new found freedom i inhale deep,
lungs full, smile on my face, i collapse,
dead, damn, a word from the wise, 
when you play with fire, it'll always burn your a*s

© 2011 Taylor Williams


Author's Note

Taylor Williams
FEEDBACK, the more the better 8)

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Reviews

I love the rhyme scheme here, especially in the opening lines "walking, nonchalant, on the side of the street, lighting a cigarette, i inhale, in defeat". It gives the poem a playful tone, that contrasts well with the heavy topic. Great writing! :)

Posted 10 Years Ago


I like this poem...however I don't like the random death on the street, just doesn't make sense to me. And don't say 'the cig killed him' because it doesn't kill that fast....other than that, nicely written.

Posted 10 Years Ago


This was a really great poem!
alltid
-Meja Malina

Posted 10 Years Ago


...I laughed at the ending. This is wonderful. I enjoyed this.

Posted 10 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

'walking, nonchalant, on the side of the street ...' I can illustrate that image of an apathetic, dispassionate, indifferent man, marching aimlessly, the cigarettes in his hand is his only concern, and the thoughts rage around him with every puff of air... thoughts about life, unanswerable questions, self-culpability... A very realistic vision with which I can utterly relate... This is purely authentic and as always speakable.
'When you play with fire, it'll always burn (witho' S ) your a*s' .. I love this stanza dude... I adore it.

Posted 10 Years Ago


This is wonderful!
I think it motivates smokers to stop smoking!
Very creative! and I loved the last line, it changes the mood of the whole poem!
Great work!
(adding to my favs!) :D
100/100

Posted 10 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Moving towards a goal from confusion to a certainty, to a commitment. Really a good poem. But the flow can be more streamlined. The presentation requires to be a little sharp. I enjoyed the reading.

Posted 10 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

great straight forward raw writing! excellent!

Posted 10 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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283 Views
9 Reviews
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Shelved in 1 Library
Added on June 26, 2011
Last Updated on June 26, 2011
Tags: cigarettes, walking, thinking, contemplating, change, collapse, irony, death

Author

Taylor Williams
Taylor Williams

Winston-Salem, NC



About
Well i figured id redo this since a lot has change. Im taylor williams still but im now twenty years old. I joined the marine corps in june of 2012 to help further myself physically and mentally. I lo.. more..

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