Cat and Mouse

In light of this new pain, let me remind you

that these times have changed

and so have I

I'm trying everything 

just to f*****g get by

holding onto hope

already knowing it's false hood

but do I care?

no our loves always been, misunderstood

I know I've failed you before 

but I'm ready for this

I'm ready for your love

and the eternal bliss

so please come back

I've been chasing full speed

my lungs ready for collapse

aching for the only thing I need

not sleep, not food, 

no it's only ever been you

so please run back to my arms

so I can protect you

and forever keep you from harm

Author's Note

FEEDBACK, any suggestions on how to improve the poem, constructive criticism is always more than welcome

Reviews

[Clarisse Nanoit]

I like this. The subject matter is a common one, but you did it nicely with the extent to which you took the "running after you" analogy. Very cool. I liked this: "no it's only ever been you"
The line just seems understated (in a good way) to me. It's subtly put, but it means so much. I think the only way this piece could really be stronger is if you put more consideration into the punctuation so it would read the way I think you intended for it to, because I had to search for the meaning tone here without it. People, often times, underestimate the value of grammer/capitilization in a poem, but it really really is key. Overall a good one. I enjoyed!
KH

[Lane-roe]

I like this-the emotions are honest and powerful. "no it's only ever been you"-the need is simple, but strong. A good write :)

[kdpgrahi]

It is simple and direct. I like it

[BlackStar]

This is an amazing piece, I love how you conveyed pain in such a simple poem...and this could also be an extract of a song! With regards to constructive criticism, I'd probably say the length of some verses or perhaps a different format, but it's only because that's what I do when I'm trying to improve my writing.

[Smokey]

Dude I love it, you really are a true artist. My only qualm is that I really wish that you would write about another human emotion other than 'pain'; you illustrate it beautifully, but it is a cliched emotion and your writing suggests/implies that you're anti-pretentious. Great write though :)

[Carrion.]

"i can forever keep you from harm"
love it.

[Thomas Fitzgerald]

Intense and full of raw emotion, well done, good read.