Cat and Mouse

Cat and Mouse

A Poem by Taylor Williams

In light of this new pain, let me remind you
that these times have changed
and so have I
I'm trying everything 
just to f*****g get by
holding onto hope
already knowing it's false hood
but do I care?
no our loves always been, misunderstood
I know I've failed you before 
but I'm ready for this
I'm ready for your love
and the eternal bliss
so please come back
I've been chasing full speed
my lungs ready for collapse
aching for the only thing I need
not sleep, not food, 
no it's only ever been you
so please run back to my arms
so I can protect you
and forever keep you from harm

© 2011 Taylor Williams


Author's Note

Taylor Williams
FEEDBACK, any suggestions on how to improve the poem, constructive criticism is always more than welcome

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Featured Review

I like this. The subject matter is a common one, but you did it nicely with the extent to which you took the "running after you" analogy. Very cool. I liked this: "no it's only ever been you"
The line just seems understated (in a good way) to me. It's subtly put, but it means so much. I think the only way this piece could really be stronger is if you put more consideration into the punctuation so it would read the way I think you intended for it to, because I had to search for the meaning tone here without it. People, often times, underestimate the value of grammer/capitilization in a poem, but it really really is key. Overall a good one. I enjoyed!
KH

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

I like this-the emotions are honest and powerful. "no it's only ever been you"-the need is simple, but strong. A good write :)

Posted 8 Years Ago


I like this. The subject matter is a common one, but you did it nicely with the extent to which you took the "running after you" analogy. Very cool. I liked this: "no it's only ever been you"
The line just seems understated (in a good way) to me. It's subtly put, but it means so much. I think the only way this piece could really be stronger is if you put more consideration into the punctuation so it would read the way I think you intended for it to, because I had to search for the meaning tone here without it. People, often times, underestimate the value of grammer/capitilization in a poem, but it really really is key. Overall a good one. I enjoyed!
KH

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

It is simple and direct. I like it

Posted 8 Years Ago


This is an amazing piece, I love how you conveyed pain in such a simple poem...and this could also be an extract of a song! With regards to constructive criticism, I'd probably say the length of some verses or perhaps a different format, but it's only because that's what I do when I'm trying to improve my writing.

Posted 8 Years Ago


Dude I love it, you really are a true artist. My only qualm is that I really wish that you would write about another human emotion other than 'pain'; you illustrate it beautifully, but it is a cliched emotion and your writing suggests/implies that you're anti-pretentious. Great write though :)

Posted 8 Years Ago


"i can forever keep you from harm"
love it.


Posted 8 Years Ago


Intense and full of raw emotion, well done, good read.

Posted 8 Years Ago



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233 Views
8 Reviews
Rating
Added on July 1, 2011
Last Updated on July 1, 2011
Tags: love, change, love lost, heartbreak, hope, determination

Author

Taylor Williams
Taylor Williams

Winston-Salem, NC



About
Well i figured id redo this since a lot has change. Im taylor williams still but im now twenty years old. I joined the marine corps in june of 2012 to help further myself physically and mentally. I lo.. more..

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