DAME IN THE RED DRESS.

A MAN WATCHES A WOMAN IN A RED DRESS IN A SHOPPING MALL.

Aubrey took in the dame
in the red dress, her hams
moving under the tight cloth,
her ringed fingers showing

as she moved her hands, the
pointed dugs like small noses
pressed against the redness.
He took in her hair, noticed

the colour, the waves, the  
highlights. He sipped coffee.
Cappuccino, white froth on
his upper lip, wiped off with

the back of his hand. She
stood window shopping;
stood moving her legs, her
hams in sexy motion still.

He leaned back. He eased
against the chair. She had
stooped forward. Her eyes
price gauging, hands behind

her back, holding a hand
bag, rings showing. He
settled on her neckline.
A necklace, silver, a cross

without a Christ. She turned
and gazed up the shopping
mall. She sighed. He watched.
Sipped coffee. The waitress

who brought it walked with
a wiggle. Tiny backside, tight,
she thin as if some Modigliani
dame. She walked by holding

an empty tray. Wiggled, head
level. The dame in the red dress
turned and faced him. Their
eyes met; green on brown;

hers on his. She looked away
taking nothing of him. He
drank in her eyes and mouth;
lingered in his darkroom mind.

He sipped again. She folded
her arms, handbag hanging,
eyeing her small gold watch.
Aubrey took in her legs,

the hairlessness, the silk
smooth suntanned legs.
Younger he may have
drooled; now he just

gazed and gazed. She
looked up the long mall.
He sat up and downed
his coffee. Her Romeo,

if such, arrived. They
embraced; he swung
her around. Excitement,
bright eyes, smiles.

They walked off. Aubrey
watched her go, not
unhappy or ill, he'd had
his sight and had his fill.

Reviews

[Ravyne Hawke]

This is a wonderful poem, Terry.. such careful attention to details and great imagery. My favorite:

They walked off. Aubrey
watched her go, not
unhappy or ill, he'd had
his sight and had his fill

This whole poem works well. One small thing.. "swinging" should be "swung"

[Terry Collett]

Thank you, Lori. Well spotted. I have edited.

[Koibito "Nickie" Kitsuy..]

I love it! I like the story line and my favorite part of the poem is at the end when instead of stalking her he is satisfied by just looking at her and walks way. Well done.

[Terry Collett]

Thank you, Nickie.

[Leonard Birch]

Great Poem my friend. I love the detail.
Thank you.
Leo

[Terry Collett]

Thank you, Leo

[London's Lily]

There's something about capturing a moment in time that always makes me smile. People are so busy, seldom do they pause to just drink in their surroundings. I love finding those opportunities. This poem made me smile, in part because of the detail, allowing me to see, hear, and smell the moment; also because it depicts that pause, giving that sense of time stopping for one person while the rest of the world bustles on around him. Fantastic. :)

[Terry Collett]

Thank you, Lily.

[kublakhan27]

I love the detail in this piece, it really brings the characters to life and makes them easy to relate to...poetry and storytelling do not always mesh, but you've done a masterful job of bringing the two elements together here...great poem.

[Terry Collett]

Thank you, kublakhan27

[ba_mcfarlane]

Been there done that....oh yeah...perfect fleeting moments during my one shot at life, this is not a dress rehearsal so drink it all in.....yeah...you really nailed this one...beauty!!

[Terry Collett]

Thank you, Scribbles.

[shallimarRose]

Very visual as I red.. The thin cloth over her body.. the movement.. The froth being wiped with the back of his had.. His lingered eye as she walked away.. One point I see though and maybe im way off but it seemed that your line breaks are off?? They should always be at the end of a complete thought..

"She turned
and gazed up the shopping
mall. She sighed. He watched.
Sipped coffee. The waitress

who brought it walked with
a wiggle. Tiny backside, tight,
she thin as if some Modigliani
dame. She walked by holding "

.......She turned
and gazed up the shopping
mall. She sighed. He watched.
Sipped coffee.

......The waitress
who brought it walked with
a wiggle. Tiny backside, tight,
she thin as if some Modigliani
dame.

Like I said i could be wrong.. There may be a method to your way..

Very expressive piece.. Thank you for the rr Terri.. xo Rose

[Terry Collett]

Thank you, Rose. I just each poem as it comes, I seldom have a method.

[shallimarRose]

Oh... Some times I dont completely understand a poets form or thoughts.. I dont mean to offend.. I loved this story.. Very imaginative and visual for me.. xo

[Terry Collett]

I appreciate comments, Rose dear, thank you for reading & comments.

[SteveB]

Very descriptive with a Chandler-esque feel with the wording. Very nicely done.
Although it seemed much more like prose the line breaks and stanza breaks were well constructed. I am glad Lori sent me a read request for this.

[Terry Collett]

Bless you, Steve. Thank you for reading.

[Coyote Poetry]

Amazing description. Made me wish to see the woman also. A beautiful and tempting woman can steal our thoughts and visions. I like the ending. Something are not for us to know. Thank you for the excellent poetry.
Coyote

[Terry Collett]

Thank you, Coyote

[unsavable_soul]

Nice write,
Interesting format and layout. It felt much more like a story in it's telling then a poem, but very nice. Quite a twist in the ideas as it played out in it's end. I like this, it moves seamlessly through the pain of love and beauty. Nice piece, thanks for sharing it.
Chris
100/100

[Terry Collett]

Thank you, unsavable soul

[unsavable_soul]

most welcome,
I place it as I see it friend