If You Didn't Want Me

If you didn't want me, 

Then I'm Glad I'll admit that we're not a pair 

of tied up people promising upon the winter air,

Cause I'm afraid I would never have felt so cold,

and had I been there I may have froze and grown old,

Standing in a snowstorm paled by your sunfired hair.

If you didn't want me.

If you didn't want me,

I'm Glad that there will be no party,

for us no note, ideas, or plans with everybody,

Cause I'd be a fool to the look in your eye,

and when you were swept up your then lighthearted cry,

would lie and the meal would somehow be unhearty.

If you didn't want me. 

If you didn't want me,

I'm Glad I'll admit that the bird-dog song will not be ours.

That I will not partake of throwing your flowers.

Cause here I know that had things been different,

we would otherwise break all the rules.

Disregard gods customs, hail to Satan's tools

and ditch the crowd just to sneak around,

drinking red wine into the small hours.

This we would do, yet you didn't want me.

And if you didn't want me,

I'm happy to say that no Sacrament Holy, 

nor the devout Catholic armed with Gods Glory,

has reason to fear, the erratic, fantastic liberating veneer

that a couple of sinners, two cavalier bombadiers

could relinquish in one moment of naked words, 

dropping such bombs that could shock, could awe, and the clink of the toast withall,

Would resound in ones ear like the falling artillery shell.

No, there would be no victory nor good to startle or shake the spot.

To make the fairest claim, that ever 's been made; the claim that I'll naught,

upon bride, upon love, upon escapade. 

I would do it, could do it, did it.

But, you didn't want me.

If you didn't want me,

Why has it not cowed my better part of man?

That I would fall victim at another's hand?

Scorn fate, scorn God, hope and all the rest,

and find myself like Luke upon an untimely death?

No I feel none of this, I am alive!

I live in the kiss, the bliss, the lovers wish.

The midnight delights and though to feel like a kid.

I will not kid myself, for I am a man:

If only you didn't want me.

If you didn't want me,

There is no getting out of this town,

no driving away, no getting out from the crowds.

No call upon Heaven, no helping it now:

Nothing lasts forever.

Will he remember you standing in a nice dress?

Or dancing around like an Ice princess?

Is this mere pretending compared to your dreams of wildness?

The vain ramblings of a rude and pathetic c**k at best?

Though I am taller, and worse than the rest, a scoundrel, a misfit and unwelcomed guest.

A liar, a cheat, and lout that all should detest.

Please if you ever, truly never, forever and ever... My only request is that:

You didn't want me.