Modern Day Dante (Part One)

Part Seven of Tales from the Alternate Universe

Modern Day Dante: Situations that I can only equate to modern day circles of hell… written in a horrible attempt at a loosely structured terza rima in honor of one of my favorite texts ever written, Inferno by Dante Alighieri.

I stare out the window and gaze upon fourteen inches of snow on the ground,

When reality sets in. I’ve waited too long, and now hell awaits me. 

I’m bundled up as I step outside, instantly greeted by the horrible sound 

Of howling, whipping wind, carrying stinging snow shards that pound mercilessly

Into my face, my skin, and eyes, nearly leaving me blind.

Through blurry vision I discover the miserable sight

Of massive ice chunks the snowplows have left behind. 

Mother f****r, I sigh - but I know it serves me right

It’s my own damn fault for dawdling all this time. 

   

I jab my shovel into a chunk, 

Instantly feel the painful vibration, justly for my crime. 

I cringe at the sound of the metal on ice clunk 

When my neighbor Herb’s snowblower turns on it makes me want to cry. 

I want to go over there and be like, what the f**k Herb? 

Why’d you wait all goddamn day? Tell me you son of a b***h. Why? 

    It was at that moment I decided Herb must die.