My Brother's Not-girlfriend

My Brother's Not-girlfriend

A Chapter by TheEverHungryOne

Neah and Allen's dad is trying to get them girlfriends. In desperation the brothers turn to their friends at college for help never expecting the mess that would result.


My Brother’s Not-Girlfriend


            “No way.”

            “Please Rachel! You’re my only female friend!”

            “No Neah.”

            “But you have to! I am in dire need here!”

            “Neah, it’s not going to work!”

            “I will never ask you to do anything again in my life!” proclaimed Neah as the two argued inside one of the sound-proof room of the Westmont music building. Neah had been showing Rachel some of the music he had created for his final in music composition so that she could help him refine the piece before he turned it in in a few days. The two were rather close so Rachel had immediately known her friend was preoccupied. He had revealed that his father had sent him a letter that since he had made no progress in finding a wife at college his father was planning on setting up an engagement with a business partner in Japan named Lulabell, who, on top of being almost 10 years older then him, also was extremely prissy and willful. 

Neah had objected, making up a story about some girl he already liked so he couldn’t even think about marriage to someone else. He made it sound extremely love-struck and fluffy and his father had bought it completely, gushing like an overexcited teenage girl. What was disturbing him however was that apparently his dad had immediately hired some people to spy and investigate on his sons school life to discover his crush… however since there was no such crush in existence they had assumed that it must be his lovely female friend who he spent most of his time with and had run back and reported to his dad. A few days later Neah had received a letter telling him to make sure and bring his girlfriend Rachel Wilder to meet the rest of the family for Christmas break.

“Neah… I don’t believe you. I taught you how to tie your own shoelaces.” Sighed Rachel poking him in the forehead. Which was sadly true, Neah’s family, like many at Westmont, was incredibly wealthy and Neah had been waited upon by rows of servants his entire life making it so he was lacking certain life skills that Rachel had kindly decided to teach him.

“Look Rachel, it’s only for Christmas break. You won’t really be my girlfriend, you and I don’t like each other that way at all and we would kill each other if we were ever married, just pretend! And we both live in Phoenix so it’s perfect!” insisted Neah.

“Neah- just- augh! No! It’s not going to work! These kinds of things never work. Like you said, you and I clearly don’t like each other and people are going to notice it right away!” sighed Rachel in frustration dragging a hand through her bangs.

“We can act, I know you are a good actor, we can pull it off!” insisted Neah.

“Yeah but they’ll expect us to be all lovely dovey and touchy feely and- just no. Your like, my best friend here, I am not kissing you.” Said Rachel making a face.

“We can tell him that your one of those really conservative Christians that stay extremely chaste all through their courtship.” Said Neah quickly.

“But- but-! Neeeeah!  They’re still going to expect things of me! And your family sounds- aside from a little insane- really fun. How am I ever to come visit you again if they can only think of me as their brothers ex-girlfriend? I just- I am a terrible liar Neah. I don’t think I can pull it off.” Sighed Rachel.

“What if I pay you?” asked Neah thoughtfully.

“… don’t even think about it.” Said Rachel her eyes narrowing.

“Why not? Your poor-“

“Thanks for that Neah,”

“-I have lots of money. With all your scholarship money it’s not actually that much. I could pay you $15,000 and bam! You have all your expenses paid for the next four years!” said Neah gleefully whipping out his iPhone.

“Neah! Don’t you dare!” said Rachel trying to snatch the phone away.

“Too late! It’s been transferred to your bank account!”

“Neah! You're my friend! I can just let you-!”

“My semester allowance is 3x that much Rachel it’s no big deal-“

“… Spoiled rich child.” Rachel glowered at him half-heartedly.

“Think of it as a well paying job. You’ve taken jobs from your friends before. It’s no different.” Grinned Neah.

“It is different! I haven’t even had a real boyfriend, I have no idea how to act with a pretend boyfriend.” Sighed Rachel in distress.

“Think positive!”

“…that's hard to do around finals.”



“Yasmine, I am going to die…” said Yasmine’s friend Allen slumping into the desk next to her in their shared art class at MCC.

“Why?! Do I need to break out the machine guns?!” demanded Yasmine immediately pumped.

“My father is crazy.” Moaned Allen.

“Your super rich father who wants you to go to a super high class school and become lawyer?” asked Yasmine.

“Yes, that father.” Said Allen, “y’know how I told you that I got him to stop trying to set me up with all these girls since my older brother Neah hadn’t even gotten girlfriend yet so there was no reason to insist that I get one?”


“Well apparently he got a girlfriend who he’s bringing home for Christmas to meet the family.” Sighed Allen miserably.

“Erm, good for him?”

“No! not good for him! I am going to kill him!” growled Allen, “now father is trying to set me up with my friend Lenalee and I she already likes me and this tottaly going to ruin our friendship-“

“You can’t end up with that little *****! I forbid it!” exclaimed Yasmine.

“Yasmine please don’t call my friend a *****…” sighed Allen.

“I still disapprove!” said Yasmine vehemently.

“Point is that apparently father is going to invite all these girls to a Christmas party and try and get me together with one of them and the girls that father always picks out are crazys and I am going to be attacked and I am no good with those things and I am going to die-“ Allen started panicking and clutching his head.

“Allen, don’t worry, I got your back!” said Yasmine enthusiastically patting his back, “Just bring me along! I beat off any girl that you don’t want to come near you!”

“I don’t know, if I bring you along everyone is going to assume that we’re going out and my family is not very good at listening to one another…” said Allen uncertainly.

“So? They can think whatever they want, as long as we know that we’re not going out that’s all that matters, right?” said Yasmine brightly.

“I guess…”


~The Christmas Party~


“Oooohfudge! Is that a chocolate fountain?!” exclaimed Yasmine as she dragged Allen about in her long swishy dress.

“Erm, I think so.” Said Allen tugging at the caller of his tux seeming uncomfortable in the expensive cloths.

“It’s bigger then me!”


“I am in heaven~” sighed Yasmine as she raided the dipping table. Allen grinned at her but stiffened immediately as arms wrapped around him from behind and body pressed flush against him.

“Are you the youngest son Al~len?” purred the girl moving to try and drape herself on his front her dress’s neck line plunging so low her bellybutton showed, “I have heard soOo much about you~ why don’t we-“

“Oi! Hands off ****!” said Yasmine  scowling yanking her friend out of the shameless girl’s clutches. The girl looked extremely surprised before readjusting her dress so it revealed even more.

“Oh come on Al~len, leave you jealous girlfriend and-“

“Erm no thank you.” Said Allen his face bright red.

“Oh bu-!“

“He said no, so leave.” Yasmine glowered. The girl sniffed and glared before doing so.

“Thanks,” sighed Allen in relief, “I don’t know what I would’ve done without you.”

“Hey what are friend for?” grinned Yasmine.

“Whoa Yasmine I didn’t know that you were coming to this thing! Is this the art friend you were telling me about?” asked a familiar voice.

“Siana!” Yasmine happily giving the short girl a hug, “What are you doing here?”

“Remember my friend Road from the Library? Well she said free food and good books and I was like ‘I am there!’” grinned Siana.

“I didn’t know Road was related to you!” said Yasmine looking shocked at Allen who nodded.

“She’s my cousin Cheryl’s daughter.” Explained Allen with a fond smile, “She can be a little psychotic but she is also really sweet.”

“Aw that’s cool.” Grinned Yasmine.

“So you came for our book collection? We have an incredible selection.” Grinned Allen.

“Yeah, but it’s a little hard to maneuver. I haven’t figured out how it’s organized.” Grimaced Siana.

“Why don’t you ask my cousin Tyki? He’s most familiar with the Library and if you tell him your friends with Road I am sure he’ll help you.” Said Allen gesturing at the wine table where an extremely tall man stood surrounded by fawning girls.

“He’s a giant!” exclaimed Siana.

“He kinda looks like a playboy.” Said Yasmine her eyes narrowing wondering if she wanted her almost little sister to be alone with such a man.

“Well he’s a flirt for sure, but you’re Road’s friend so he wouldn’t dare make a move on you. Not unless he wants to have his eyes stabbed out with candlesticks.” Allen assured shuddering at a memory.

“I like Road more every day.” Grinned Siana skipping over to Tyki saying something to him before the two of them wandered off together leaving a crowd of pouting girls behind.

“Allen~ You brought your girlfriend!” sang Allen’s father bouncing over to them in a suit and top hat.

“Dad she’s not-“ began Allen red faced.

“Lovely to meet you~! I am Allen’s father the Earl Millennium but you may call me Adam. What pray tell is you name?” asked the Earl kissing Yasmine’s hand and winking at her.

“Um, I am Yasmine.” Yasmine replied slightly unnerved by the energetic man.

“Oh so beautiful~ you two should come meet Neah and his girlfriend! Such a lovely pair!” gushed the Earl dragging Yasmine away by the wrist as Allen hurried behind.

“Dad, I would really rather not-“ began Allen unhappily and Yasmine understood. Neah and Allen never really gotten along well and it was also Neah decision to get a girlfriend that had left him in such an uncomfortable situation.

“Nonsense Allen! Your brother has been away in college and he is only here for winter break. Plus if he marries the girl you might as well get used to her now! You must go greet them!” insisted the Earl shoving the two forward toward two people standing in the corner. Yasmine wasn’t really interested in whoever Allen’s brother had hooked up with, but she had heard plenty of stories about Neah and she peered at him curiously.

He was quite good looking… Yasmine decided that she didn’t like him.

He and Allen held very little resemblance to each other, Allen having taken more after their mother. His skin was darker then her friends and his hair was disheveled in an oddly attractive manner. Their eyes locked and Yasmine noticed that his were an odd shade of brown that was so honey colored it almost looked gold in the right light. She noticed with discomfort that he was looking at her with more than polite interest. Yasmine disliked him even more for that; his girlfriend was standing right next to him for goodness sake! She glanced over at the pretty girl he was holding by the waist to see how she would take this and gasped.

Rachel gaped right back.

“Yasmine?! What are you doing here?!” exclaimed Rachel looking a mixture of excitement to see her friend and a strange sort of apprehension.

“Rachel!!!” Yasmine cried yanking her out of Neah’s arms to crush her in a hug. The two boys looked flabbergasted where as the Earl just cackled with delight.

“Oho~! Things just got more interesting~!” laughed the Earl.

“Wait, but the Earl said we were meeting Neah’s brother and his girlfriend… wait are you matched to him!? Why didn’t you tell me?!  You said you weren't getting matched for a while!” Rachel said looking completely confused.

“What about you!?” said Yasmine, she would correct Rachel on her silly assumption in a second when she was less busy glaring daggers at Neah, “you didn’t say anything about a boyfriend! Is blackmailing you into this or something?!”

“That’s because-!”

“That’s because we only just realized our love for each other~” sang Neah lightly cutting in suddenly trying to pull an uncomfortable looking Rachel back into his arms. Yasmine was too busy clinging to her friend harder and practically hissing at him that she didn’t notice that half panicked look he had worn for a second with a glance at the Earl.

“Rachel doesn’t just leap into relationships.” Yasmine glared at him.

“Yazzy… how do you know Neah’s girlfriend?” asked Allen tentatively. Yasmine felt bad, she had almost forgotten her other friend was there so intent had she been on rescuing Rachel from his snake of a brothers clutches… she had heard some stories about him.

“Yazzy and I are pretty much sisters.” Rachel answered for her smiling brightly. Allen stared at her at her like he had never seen another human being before.

“Oh…” he mumbled averting his eyes shyly.

“Yes, and it is my duty as a sister that screen anyone who wants to be her boyfriend!” Yasmine declared.

“Oh? I look forward to it.” Purred Neah with bright appreciative eyes.

“-10 points for you.” Declared Yasmine with a hiss.

“Neah,” said Rachel sharply, “can I have word with you in private?”

“Oh course my love~” said Neah sweetly though his eyes were locked on Yasmine, it almost seemed like he was doing it to irritate her. Well he was succeeding.

“Rachel don’t-“ she growled.

“Yazzy don’t worry,” said Rachel before she dragged Neah off.

“Well this is too much fun~! A lover tiff so early on~ do tell me how it all unfolds!” giggled the Earl clapping his hands before bounding off.

“Yazzy let’s go sit down.” Said Allen tugging Yasmine away from where people had gathered to observe the strange confrontation.

“I do not approve!” Yasmine declared immediately once they sat down, “They do not go well together. I know he’s your brother but he seems like a snake and I am not going to let him gobble up my friend!”

“I thought she was your sister…” said Allen handing her a drink.

“Same thing.” Said Yasmine waving her hand.

“She- She seems nice.” Said Allen hesitantly.

“Oh yes!” said Yasmine brightly, “You would love her!”

“y-y-yeah?” said Allen looking a little flustered. Yasmine blinked at him suddenly.

“Yeah!” she grinned suddenly leaning in with a grin that spelled trouble, “You would adore her. You two would be perfect for each other~”

“I don’t like that look you have Yazzy…” said Allen sternly though his face was a little red.

“Oh shosh! I have plan and it’s going to be great!” declared Yasmine.

“… somehow I feel very worried.”


“Neah! What do you think you’re doing?! You promised not to pretend to be lovely dovely with me! If you do that it will certainly be obvious that we are not going out because I will not allow you to do such things.” Said Rachel sternly, before glowering at her friend, “and why are you antagonizing Yasmine?”

“She’s fun to mess with~! I like her a lot.” Neah shrugged, though Rachel’s mouth fell open slightly.

“You… like her a lot…?” she repeated slowly.

“Oh not like that silly!” grinned Neah though Rachel now noticed that he still gazed at her friend across the room with a strange smile she'd neer seen before as he watched her speak with excitement to Neah’s brother who was blushing quite cutely… no, she scolded herself. But Neah never “really liked people” in fact he didn’t really have many friends besides Rachel.

“You’re looking at me weird.” Neah informed her teasingly.

“Hmm… Yeah, I haven’t decided if I approve.” Said Rachel frowning.

“Of what?” asked Neah.

“…things. Anyhow, isn’t a bit rude to hit on your brother’s girlfriend?” said Rachel deciding not to mention that she was doubtful whether of not Yasmine really was going out with Allen… no scratch that she was almost positive they weren't. But that didn’t really matter: Neah believed they were.

“I am not hitting on her.” Scoffed Neah, Rachel raised her eyebrow ‘so he hasn’t noticed yet…’ “besides, if I want her I’ll get her, my brother doesn't have anything to do with it.”

“Oh wow…. -500 points for you.” Said Rachel giving him a withering glance.

“What is with you and that girl and points?” asked Neah exasperated.

“You don’t get know, but you better fix that horrible attitude or Yasmine will smash you with a couch.” Said Rachel conversationally although she was secretly thinking that she might save Yasmine the trouble and smash him herself. Friend or not his brother seemed really sweet and shy and it rather pissed her off that Neah was so inconsiderate of his possible feelings.

“Hey, sorry. I know that it makes me sound like a total jerk, but really, my brother and I have never gotten along. I am sure it’d never stop him from making a move on you just because he thought you were my girlfriend.” Sniffed Neah before grinning, “maybe I should guard my precious girlfriend from my lovesick brother ne?”

“Somehow I doubt Allen is really like that, after all, Yasmine is friends with him. I think it’s more likely that you don’t really know your brother.” Commented Rachel with blunt honesty.

“What?” said Neah incredulously.

“Honestly Neah, when was the last time you two spent time with each other?” Rachel rolled her eyes.

“… I don’t even remember. But what does that matter?” asked Neah.

“That’s got to change.” Said Rachel firmly, when Neah opened his mouth to protest she added, “Even if we are not pretending to go out, we are good friends yes?”

“Yes.” Admitted Neah.

“And Yazzy and I are good friends. And Allen and her are good friends. Therefore it makes sense that we should all spend time together. Which means you two need to get your act together.” Concluded Rachel.

“I don’t think Allen wants to be friends with me.” Said Neah uncomfortably.

“Of course he doesn’t right now, he probably knows as little about your real character as you do his.” Sighed Rachel.

“Ah Rachie things aren't always just a simple matter of logic and actions.” Said Neah pulling her into a playful hug, “But I’ll try for you I suppose since your doing a wonderful job of charming the pants off my father. I am starting to regret introduce you two; he’s going to bother me forever about letting you get away. I swear he’s ready to roll out the red carpet and welcome you in as a Walker.”

“Oh dear, I better be careful huh?”

“Yep, pretty soon he’ll be quizzing us on future children names.”

“Don’t even go there Neah.” Said Rachel looking queasy.

“Oh my you’re going to hurt my manly pride!” laughed Neah.

“That’s impossible, your manly pride is bullet proof, that's the problem.” Snorted Rachel shoving his shoulder.

“Ah it is true, you can’t hurt perfection. Honestly Rachel there must be something wrong with you if you’re not in love with me.” Sighed Neah dramatically.

“Thank goodness.” Grinned Rachel and Neah laughed in agreement.


~thatangryshortperson has entered the chat room~


~TheEverHungryOne has entered the chat room~


thatangryshortperson> Heeeey there! What’s this I hear about you having a boyfriend?


TheEverHungryOne> Siana!!! You’re here too?! Come see me! :D


TheEverHungryOne> and don’t go spreading that around. I am not really going out with him, just pretending so his crazy father doesn't do something drastic.


thatangryshortperson> What? O.o for real? That’s crazy! I was joking!


TheEverHungryOne> Ah well… but don’t tell people. Particularly anybody in the family.


~Imagination-mage has entered the chat room~


Imagination-mage> Okay I am here! The party can start now!


Imagination-mage> I knew it!!!!


TheEverHungryOne> Don’t go around telling people though; I’ll never live it down…


thatangryshortperson> no promises~


Imagination-mage> Can I tell Allen?


TheEverHungryOne> No.


Imagination-mage> whhhhy nooot?! He loooves yoooou!


TheEverHungryOne> yeah right.


TheEverHungryOne> speaking of which I think Neah may have a thing for you Yazzy.


TheEverHungryOne> I may be crazy though.


Imagination-mage> you’re crazy


thatangryshortperson> Of course we all already knew that.


thatangryshortperson> But just cuz she’s crazy doesn't mean that she’s wrong~ I want to meet this Neah!


Imagination-mage> he’s a jerk


TheEverHungryOne> sometimes. But he can also be really sweet. He’s a good friend.


thatangryshortperson> is he that music friend you were telling us about ages ago?


TheEverHungryOne> yup


TheEverHungryOne> speaking of Neah, he’s nagging me to get off my electronic devices and be social >:/ Dag~! Come find me in here Siana!


~TheEverHungryOne has left the chat room~


thatangryshortperson> social?! With real people? Bah! Who needs that?


Imagination-mage> I actually have to go too.


thatangryshortperson> Noooooo don't leave me! I am avoiding talking to the giant in the Library who keeps hitting on me!


~Imagination-mage has left the chat room~


thatangryshortperson> damn it guys you’ve all failed me K


~thatangryshortperson has left the chat room~


~iCry has entered the chat room~


iCry> interesting….


~TheWhiteQueen has entered the chat room~


TheWhiteQueen> Whaaat? Idk what’s going on! Hungry-chan is or isn’t going out with that guy?


iCry> Rachel’s fake boyfriend likes our Yasmine and Yasmine’s likes Rachel. Siana seems to have an unwanted admirer as well.


iCry> I think I’ll wait and see how this one turns out J


~iCry has left the chat room~


TheWhiteQueen> I am still confused….


~TheWhiteQueen has left the chat room~


~there is no one in the chat room~




© 2013 TheEverHungryOne

Author's Note

Had a little Durarara chat moment at the end there. I personally think Bmel should have and "iCry" username somewhere.
This was supposed to be a short but I am wondering if it might turn into a multi-chapter story.
As you might have noticed from the stars at the end there was actually a little more... a scene right after the party where we're hanging at Yazzy's getting to know each other a little more... but it wasn't going well for me. So I decided to post this little bit and see what you guys thought.
Give me feedback! And hopefully it will I've me the inspiration I need to figure out where to take this next... or maybe just drop it and try writing another story (Although I feel like that's the only thing I've been doing lately with my stories....)

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If you do get inspired, you should tots continue this :D

Posted 9 Years Ago

god I was laughing so hard! XDD
People are trying to sleep here! they don't need me waking them up with un-lady-like barks of laughter! (btw its thatshortangryperson not thatangryshortperson)

Posted 9 Years Ago


9 Years Ago

haha oops. Yeah I was trying to remember all our usernames without internet :)

9 Years Ago

good job! i congratulate you ^^
u have no idea how hard i was laughingXD my fav is when we we dock points from Neah and the chat room was of course another, tots reminded me of Durarara:D ugh inspiration is being ignited in me once more from this short:/ remember sis it all depends on u:3

Posted 9 Years Ago


9 Years Ago

oooh the pressure!!!

9 Years Ago

terribly sorry:/

9 Years Ago

It's all good!

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3 Reviews
Shelved in 3 Libraries
Added on December 29, 2013
Last Updated on December 29, 2013



phx, AZ

I LOVE FOOD! other then that I am a Renaissance girl (aka I have a lot of hobbies all of which I do intensely) and i am Dyslexic.... so if my writing gets confusing thats why. Oh and I go to a M.. more..

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A Chapter by TheEverHungryOne