A Story by Joshua Z.

Thoughts, slowly grinding to a halt. The gears and cogs and make my brain function; quietly quitting the never ending job of keeping me alive. Well, I suppose I am still alive in a physical sense. My body still draws breath, my heart still labors, but my mind has slipped from the chains that bound it to reality. I visualize myself standing on a warm beach, somewhere on an island in the South Pacific. 
I wish I could be more specific, know exactly where I was, but that was just part of the majesty of it. I stood on a beach that didn't really exist. It was a large strip of white sand, leading out into an ocean of crystal clear water. Palm trees towered over me from behind, their tops leaning towards me, heavy with ripe coconuts. The sun sets in the distance, silently merging with the horizon. I flex my toes in the sand, feeling it's warm, gritty texture, and a smile spreads across my face.
Is is fair for those of us who choose to escape from reality to do so? I do not know, because I do not know anyone who could accurately judge me for doing so. That said, humanity is fearful of the unknown, so it is not unlikely that if such a judgement were ever to be made, that it would be negative. 
"I can do whatever the hell I want, Lily!" 

"But it's like your not even here anymore!? Where did the man I love go!?"

I wince reflexively, memories should not touch me here, should not interfere with the perfect mental stasis that has been induced. The world I have build for myself shimmers, revealing it's falseness to the world. Well, it's world, which comprises entirely of me. 
What are the governing rules for something to be considered to be 'real' anyway? Is not the mere observation of something, the perceiving of it make it real? I step forward in the stand, making quick strides towards the expanse of water that is laid out before me.
Warm, pleasant water then surrounds my feet, and the waves lap lazily around my ankles. I kneel, cupping up some water in my hands, and drink from the sea.
"I'm right here, and I always have been! I don't understand why you can't see that!"

"Don't play stupid with me Jack, I'm getting real f*****g sick of it. You know what I mean, emotionally you've been gone since when you first started your 'journey's' or whatever you call them."

Cold spring water, tasting for all the world like it had been pulled straight from an alpine spring. 

© 2013 Joshua Z.

Author's Note

Joshua Z.
I don't know if this is finished or not. It doesn't really have a sense of finality to it. I might return to Jack at a later date. He's one of the characters I've had for awhile, but never really done anything with.

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Added on March 1, 2013
Last Updated on March 7, 2013
Tags: Fiction, Drugs, Isolation


Joshua Z.
Joshua Z.


I would like to write more, but motivation is a difficult thing for me. Not just with writing, with anything. more..