Wine

Lips begin to tingle,
The cold takes over,
Soulful merry jingle,
My consciousness is sober.

Thoughts evaporate,
Unsaid words are spilled,
Tongues compensate,
Truth still sealed.

Moments are happy,
Sadness is profound,
Wit is snappy,
Love is bound.

I drink to you,
You drink to me,
Winged words that flew,
You, I always see.

Author's Note

I have an issue with the ending, any suggestions?

Reviews

[L.P.Greene]

It's really good, the rhyme's well paced and easy to read but the ending doesn't work. One option is to ditch the last verse entirely and let the poem end on - "Love is Bound" It's a strong line which packs a punch. If you're not convinced the third stanza should be the finishing point to the poem i suggest taking some time. Poems, especially those which rhyme, do not come out well when forced. Let your mind focus on other things and then come back to this. You may find inspiration strikes. But good work. L.